Hi there. My name is Kristian. Im 29 years old and after being the "typical guy" who only saw women for long term relationships for over a decade, I finally broke from that patterns. Now I am involved in an open relationship and try to meet as many women as I can. Thanks to this I've managed to get a girl into a casual relationship and both her and my current girlfriend are cool with my lifestyle.
However, I've been doing some mistakes with the girl I'm seeing casually, we've been meeting for about four months. Not more than 3 times a month, not less than once every four weeks. Initially I took it very easy, kept it very casual and just gave her room to seek me out. I made it easy and did not take it seriously the times she couldn't meet me. And after a couple of months like this she started chasing me hard, inviting me to awesome dates and eventually letting me meet some of her friends.
She knows about my girlfriend, and I am clear that monogamy is not for me. She even mentioned guys she sometimes dates (might be to make me jealous) but we (almost) always have sex when we meet.
So far so good, I thought. But then, because I started valuing her too much, I began to chase. It happen after she put a lot of effort in meeting me and I somehow started to believe that this could be something more serious (a thing I finally realize is not what I want) and began pushing for more meeting. I started being more romantic. Tried to up our meetings and to make the best impression on her friends. I even made the mistake of sending her random messages trying to connect with her. Now shes being more aloof, spending longer and longer time responding, and even counter-offering my advances by inviting me to group things. I feel like I gave up my power and now she knows that I'm chasing.
What should I do to reestablish the relationship we had at the beginning? Do I need to just get out, let it cool down a bit and maybe reengaging after a couple of weeks? I feel like she still is attracted to me, but at the same time I feel like the attraction is fading away. Is there a way for me to spark that attraction again before its too late?
PS: I am willing to test out new things to see what happens. What do I have to loose. At least I can experiment and see how it goes.
However, I've been doing some mistakes with the girl I'm seeing casually, we've been meeting for about four months. Not more than 3 times a month, not less than once every four weeks. Initially I took it very easy, kept it very casual and just gave her room to seek me out. I made it easy and did not take it seriously the times she couldn't meet me. And after a couple of months like this she started chasing me hard, inviting me to awesome dates and eventually letting me meet some of her friends.
She knows about my girlfriend, and I am clear that monogamy is not for me. She even mentioned guys she sometimes dates (might be to make me jealous) but we (almost) always have sex when we meet.
So far so good, I thought. But then, because I started valuing her too much, I began to chase. It happen after she put a lot of effort in meeting me and I somehow started to believe that this could be something more serious (a thing I finally realize is not what I want) and began pushing for more meeting. I started being more romantic. Tried to up our meetings and to make the best impression on her friends. I even made the mistake of sending her random messages trying to connect with her. Now shes being more aloof, spending longer and longer time responding, and even counter-offering my advances by inviting me to group things. I feel like I gave up my power and now she knows that I'm chasing.
What should I do to reestablish the relationship we had at the beginning? Do I need to just get out, let it cool down a bit and maybe reengaging after a couple of weeks? I feel like she still is attracted to me, but at the same time I feel like the attraction is fading away. Is there a way for me to spark that attraction again before its too late?
PS: I am willing to test out new things to see what happens. What do I have to loose. At least I can experiment and see how it goes.
