Beginning a Relationship - How Often Should You Text?

[Momentum]

Hey guys,

I've gotten into a monogamous relationship with a girl who I've been dating for about two months now, and dated last year for three months or so.

While dating her, I went the lover route, giving her great sex, excluding myself as a boyfriend, and ultimately she really wanted to date me: the paradigm preached on GC. Very recently, she told me how she feels about me, how it's more than just sex to her, and that she wants to make a relationship work.

This girl has the qualities I look for in a girlfriend (extremely good looking, smart, sexy, savvy, etc.) and she's leaving the city to get her masters this week. She'll be about an hour away from me. I'm quite busy with work, so we understand this will be sort of a long distance relationship but we want to make it work. She'll be in my city at least once a month, perhaps more, and I can visit her on occasion.

I've never done a relationship with the girl being this far away. How often should I text/contact her? I'm not one to just text her out of the blue. I want to better understand frequency of contact and balancing the idea of not looking needy yet not making it as though I'm not giving her my attention.

What are some guidelines/principles to use?

Thanks,
Momentum

 

[Smurf]

Yo man, congrats on the relationship!

As far as long distance goes, I'm not a huge advocate for it. How long is she going to be away? One of the biggest things you can provide in a relationship is good dick. You're cutting off a lot of your value by going long distance. If she's going to be away for a long time, I'd consider maybe an open relationship until she gets back.

Jake.

 

[Sandman]

I think one hour is not that too far away. Try to see each other once in 2 or 3 weeks and it's doable I think. Get her to come to you more often than not.

I think a good rule of thumb is to text her a little less frequently than she texts you and end the texting yourself. Another thing to keep in mind is being a little unpredictable, don't text every day for example otherwise she will have an expactation of you to do so which can become problematic once you're in a busier period.

I think going to the open relationship route after becoming monogamous is going back. If you don't want to become monogamous at all it's fine but if you want to become monogamous when she comes back I wouldn't recommend it as it would set a bad precedent.

 

[Fuck This]

One Hour travel time is not a big deal. What you need to understand is that a Master's Program demands a great deal more than just classroom and study. Especially if there is research projects. It actually is more of a time demand than a 9-5 job.

So with that in mind, you want to make your time together worthwhile as possible, mainly by getting away from work and school. Doing things together off campus and out of town.

If you establish a regular check in time, great. The usual "Good Morning" before class or work gives a limit where you can check out of the text string...

If you are texting in the evenings then you are a little more shackled on your recreational time.

Sunday or Saturday morning sexting is a nice habit if you get that going.

Mainly don't text unless you have something to show, tell, or ask. or to make arrangements for your next meeting.