Socializing Being a catalyst of change

[Rakehell]

Does anyone else have this effect on people where your words hold a-lot more sway than intended. Without having previous rapport with the person or any credentials related to their actions even.

I feel like sometimes with women and even men, i’ll have conversations, maybe i’ll drop some thought I had about myself, or ill unintentionally prod, and provoke a philosophical question in them. And they end up really taking it to heart and uprooting themselves from a situation they’d been in for a while, or jumping into something because I thought it might be a good idea.

For example this girl that I barely knew upon having the conversation, quit her job that she’d been at for a significant amount of time days after said conversation. Of course I could just be giving myself too much credit when it comes to other peoples decisions, but this isn’t the first time.

I’ve had people switch schools, quit hobbies I thought weren’t beneficial (for me), end relationships (because of what I thought), and the list goes on, after having innocent conversations about them. Again maybe i’m crazy and just giving myself too much credit but it seems far too coincidental.

I can really only define it on paper as being something like a catalyst of change. Like people have this latent thing that they maybe thought about doing somewhere in their subconscious, then I come along and knock it loose.

Anyone have any experience with this?

 

[Alpha13SC]

This is common for me also.

Most moments are when I can build up the confidence ins someone. One of my students(girl) was pretty sad about her current job and her confidence in herself. So beside the tutoring, I had a discussion in her which ended up with her changing her job, trusting herself more and getting a better paid and more satisfactory job. This was in 2017. We met again last year, for Christmas(2021), with some friends and she said her change was made because of me, giving me the credit.

I think it s related to how much influence you can develop over a person in a short period of time.

 

[Rakehell]

I think it s related to how much influence you can develop over a person in a short period of time.

Yeah, for me it’s as if talking on a subject in a general way, it doesn’t really have to be specifically tailored to the other person’s situation. Gives them this light bulb effect where they go and act on it.

Or asking deeper questions about a persons situation, forces them to analyze themselves below the surface, and they decide they want to have an answer to that question. So they go out and create a answer.

Really interesting stuff, glad someone relates.

 

[ulrich]

I have had things like that happened to me when I am in a position of “expertise” like giving a class or a consulting session.

It has always been my perception that it is not that I tell them to make a change, rather that they are looking for some kind of reassurance on decisions they have already made and rationalize that I inspired them.
I rarely feel like I gave them a push big enough to do anything significantly different.

I guess it’s like tilting a set of dominoes with a flick of your hand. The dominoes need to be already standing there.