Being a pua father to a son. Kid social tech.

[Gunwitch]

Something got me thinking about it, and it may be useful to any fathers out there.

My father was a PUA before such a thing, hell he would borrow his friends convertible and drive around and pick up girls off side of street. He was 38 or so and got my mom at 18. They'd call the cops on ya these days, was different era . I'm not sure he thought he was a player or pickup artist or anything, he died when I was a kid so we never had those conversations. He had a previous family and cheated and all and my mom never made a fuss about it etc.

Anyway to my point I think he did "get" social confidence and charisma and such though, because he would always have me as a little boy take my money up to counter and order my own food, and pay for own toys and such. A safe way, in my book, that got me very willing to talk to strangers very young that translated over well as an adult, hell I could approach women day 1 trying cold approach pickup with no approach anxiety. Safe as in not just telling me to go up and talk to strangers, they still educated me to gouge eyes, bite, scream if grabbed etc. Again different era I mean we played outside in woods at night, didn't wear seat belts, were left to play in toy isles and casino video game arcades etc with no supervision. Which probably helped socialization too, with all us south park style foul mouth kids back then, but still knew not to go with anyone or anything.

Just something that came to mind, I mean sure you wouldn't wanna educate a child on how to get laid lol, but a good baby step I think in making a child more socially comfortable it seems is this tech of having them do all their ordering and buying. While not having them talk to non working strangers at random for safety and all.

Anyone else have any pre PUA style mentoring or even actual PUA teaching early life?


Gun

 

[ulrich]

This is me keyjocking here but if I had a son, I would tell him to go say hi to the cute girls.

“Hey son, that girl is cute, right? Go tell her she’s cute.”

I’m thinking that if you do this when they’re 5-6, you’re basically inoculating them on approach anxiety.
What an amazing gift to your son.

 

[Chase]

My father always flirted a lot with my mother's youngest sister. My mother never seemed to mind, but the flirting was pretty blatant. He'd flirt with my mother, and flirted with female strangers sometimes. My mother would mock-complain about random women cornering my father to "hit on" him (usually just smiling and asking him where to find things in the supermarket or whatnot... which he would then extend into a flirtation).

We'd have all kinds of debates all the time around the dinner table. My father is a strongly opinionated guy who is very sharp and by the time I could go toe-to-toe with him I was in pretty good shape. He often disagreed with me on things and tried to convince me to see things his way and I'd debate him on them all. It's almost certainly why I took county as an amateur in debate in eighth grade. Gave me quite the leg up with persuasion and framing.

I definitely would've appreciated him figuring out some way to get me to be more outgoing though. I shifted from very outgoing at 8 years old to totally closed off by 13. I think my parents simply didn't know what to do; I was a very stubborn child.

This is me keyjocking here but if I had a son, I would tell him to go say hi to the cute girls.

“Hey son, that girl is cute, right? Go tell her she’s cute.”

I’m thinking that if you do this when they’re 5-6, you’re basically inoculating them on approach anxiety.
What an amazing gift to your son.

The other thing is asking them if they talk to girls and boys both, and approving of it, telling them they need to be able to talk to boys to make friends, and they need to be able to talk to girls because that's going to be an important skill as they get older.

Also just reinforcing on a regular basis that academic skills are important, but people skills are what make the world go round, and everything you do in life is with people. So they need to always keep an eye on whether they are able to talk to other people, make connections with them, etc.

And, when they say they're nervous to, ask them if they see anyone else chatting up kids they don't know. When they say they don't, tell them that's because the other kids are nervous too -- and if you're the one who can make the approach, and bridge that gap, everyone will appreciate it, and like you more, and appreciate you for it, because they'd all like to meet new people too.

Chase

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Very good thread.

Coming from a different angle my dad was old school book worm & my EQ came from my mum.

She taught me how to spot a liar through body language at like 11 years old & at 8 years old would send me on a plane to fly by myself (with airline attendant supervision).

Similar to gunwhich’s dad teaching social skills in a safe environment.

Also moved towns a lot when younger so was forced to be social. By the time I wanted to get girls I had the foundational transferable skills.

Another thing to mention is role models that chase touched upon. My dad wasn’t much of a flirt but my uncles 100% were & I definitely picked things up by osmosis

 

[Rakehell]

When I was really young like 6-7 my dad took me to a shoe store & had me chat up the sales lady. I ended up leaving with a pair of shoes that she gave me for free “because i was so cute”.

Looking back Im not sure whether he paid for the shoes or if she actually gave them to me. Either way it was a dope thing to do for someone so young.

 

[ulrich]

Are any of you cads thinking of becoming dads? No judgment here...

I sure want to have kids of my own at some point.
The idea excites me.

 

[Gunwitch]

I think right now in USA would be a roll of the dice bad with state interference in way you raise kids etc.

Crazy shit happens like if you won't medicate a 5 year old who teacher just needs to give a good smack, they try to accuse you of neglect. Other assorted things. I'd definite home school.

Some even get caught there, accused of shit, child services will dupe people and arrive with a cop "for our protection" then people let em in thinking they have to (you don't have to answer the door to a cop even, if they have a no knock warrant they don't knock in USA). They see trash not taken out even BOOM, you are in court the next 3 years. They are gonna do their job as an agency/industry even if no one does anything wrong of course.

Can't let kids play outside alone and shit. Nah.

Guys get pie in the sky about easy pussy out of country. Id say more raising kids would be best for real. USA is fuckin government full of babysnatchers unless you know the law to the letter/for most means rich it seems.

As far as the experience itself, whole "love something more than yourself" be interesting to feel.


Gun

 

[POB]

My late father (god rest his soul) was a serious seducer untill his mid 40s.
He went around the world collecting GFs (legend says at one point he had one for each continent).

One day he told me and my brother one of the better lessons he learned from his own father:
"My sons, we probably won't be able to fuck all the girls of this world....but we gotta try!!!" lol.

When he turned 48 he met my mom, who was 25, knocked her up and started his won family.
Up untill my pre-teens he had past GFs chasing and calling our home asking for him
(I guess he was already settled and never did anything wrong, but I have no way to know for sure).