Socializing Being 'alpha' in social circle

[slashrfnr]

This is something I've always wondered about social circles.

Do you have to be 'alpha' all the time? i.e confident, assured, law of least effort etc

I only ask because everyone is insecure, so its got to be difficult hiding it from people you spend a lot of time around?

Also, can you really be truly alpha in social circle. I understand the whole confident, self assured thing doing cold approach, because the approach etc shows confidence in itself. But in social circle, unless you're not at all confident, most people are going to be the same because you've built up that level of comfort.

What are other peoples thoughts?

 

[Anonymous]

My view on alphaness: its a by-product of being independent + having a crystal clear picture of what YOU want. Others may follow (then you are the alpha) or not (then you do your thing alone). But if they follow or not, makes no difference to you.

Example: you want to go to Las Vegas next weekend. You plan your trip and plan to go there alone. Maybe you mention it to some of your friends and if they want to join you on that trip they can, but its not necessary.

Its also a by-product of being independent + having a crystal clear picture of what YOU value.

Example: You are in the park with your friends and one of your friends starts harrassing a homeless guy and your other friends do the same. One of your values is to not do something like that and so you go against the peer pressure and defend the homeless guy. Or one of your values is to not talk badly against someone behing their back, so when your friends start gossiping about some other guy you don't take part (risking the disapproval of your friends, but you don't care because your following your values ranks higher than the going for the approval of your friends).