Being Influenced to Smoke

[Troy]

I just spoke to Richie, a friend and I let him know I am bringing a girl into the city tomorrow. He said "cool I will give you a place so you can give her a hard fuck and afterwards we chill and smoke some weed..". Then I think he said " all of us chill after you two sex" or worse he said " two of we fuck her same time " ( the latter part I'm not sure I heard correctly.)

The latter comment is what I don't want happening (bear in mind I am not sure that is what he said ). But what if he actually said the both of us sex her same time?? I didn't ask him to repeat because I was shocked. Im getting the chance to sex another girl and might have to let him sex her too. My logistics stink so either I allow him to sex her afterwards or I chalk it up as a lost opportunity ( and a horny girl who will find another man).

What should I say to Richie? How do I explain that I don't want him sexing my girl? ( well she isn't my girl but you get what I'm saying and if he even going to sex her I don't want to see it). And I dont smoke, in fact I have asthma (I haven't been sick in 3 years because I exercise enough) though I don't want to get sick. It might not happen but I dont know how to light a spliff. Last week I saw him in the city and while conversing he asked if I drink and I said "yes". Then " do you smoke? " and I said "yes" (sigh...it accidentally flew out). Richie's reply was "fine we can roll then. We can hang out ". I didn't correct myself because he already qualified me and I wouldn't want to go back on my word same time (I probably should have) to not look stupid. How do I explain to him that I have never smoked and I cannot do it? I think it's best I be honest instead of waiting till tomorrow when he lights his spliff and I look dumb and dumber for not knowing how to roll a spliff and worse to decline on spot.

Sigh... Richie is a cool guy that ALMOST everyone in town knows and respects and he seems willing to teach me game. I walk with him and MOST girls know him and run up to hug him and all the men respect him. I don't want to throw away a good teacher (who is lending me his place to sex) because of my reservation to smoke. What should I do?

Troy

 

[Smith]

Troy,

Even if he wants to have sex with "your girl", the girl will still have to want to have sex with him too....so it's not like what he said is what's going to happen, but she might if you keep acting like the more submissive male, i.e. worrying if his girl will get swept away by the alpha male. On the other hand, I'm not saying you have to "out-alpha" your friend as well.

I used to be the only guy in my high school group who's not smoking, and I still hung out with them. I had never thought to myself that they wouldn't hangout with me if I don't smoke, because that's not the reason we were friends. My point is you're taking his words way too seriously. I bet if you just told him you don't fucking smoke or you quit, you can still hangout with him. Stand your ground buddy! If not, then he's not the cool guy you think he is.

Good luck

 

[Troy]

so it's not like what he said is what's going to happen, but she might if you keep acting like the more submissive male, i.e. worrying if his girl will get swept away by the alpha male. On the other hand, I'm not saying you have to "out-alpha" your friend as well.

I don't know how to stop acting like a beta male around my girls. Especially when a very flirty man talks to them they are more over that guy than with me... Plus my girl knows Richie and I see the way she hugs him. She runs and jumps on him and is so animated and excited to see him. With me she is calm and layed back when I am around. I'm usually tempted to be cracking loads of jokes to keep her excited because it seems that is the type of guy she likes. The funny man... Richie knows how to rap girls around his little finger... Sigh... I don't want this being another story where girl comes out with me and mid way runs off to fuck another guy. Because of how I feel it gets harder to bring the fun she craves then she gets bored with me.


How should I react when she seems him and gets all excited? Worse she wouldn't be that excited to see me? I don't want her giving him 90% attention tomorrow. That makes me wonder if I am being fun enough to not let girls stray for other guys fun...one of my biggest sticking points.

Troy

 

[PrettyDecent]

Troy,

I think it just depends on how much you really want to learn from this guy.

If he's as good as you say he is, he's definitely a natural. Watching the way he interacts with women, and hanging out in his social group would provide you with some real social calibration, faster than you would make on your own.

As far as the weed goes - it's been my thought that pot itself is safe. It's when it becomes a "drug awakening" and people start using the heavy, addicting, and harmful drugs that it becomes dangerous. However, if you think of this as a means to an end, and the means are safe enough to justify the end, then I think you're in the green zone.

It boils down to this: do you value the logistics, his mentorship, and the ability to practice giving value back to people - or do you value comfort?

~Nick

 

[Mr.Rob]

Honestly the weed might help you chill a little.

Haha agreed!

Troy as far as your buddy saying he's going to fuck your girl with you or whatever I probably wouldn't worry about it too much. If he brought it up in casual conversation he probably didn't mean it overly seriously. Sounds like he's a cool guy to give you the option to fuck some girl at his place and hang out afterwards. Don't over think things.

Regarding the smoking... if you don't want to smoke then don't smoke.

Here is where you made your mistake:

Last week I saw him in the city and while conversing he asked if I drink and I said "yes". Then " do you smoke? " and I said "yes" (sigh...it accidentally flew out). Richie's reply was "fine we can roll then. We can hang out ".

Why did you say "yes"?

You know you don't smoke but you are trying hard to hit it off with this guy so he'll like you and mentor you. Thus you tell a white lie in order to gain his approval.

I know because I used to do it back in the past.

The best thing to do in these situations is just be honest "you know I'm not much of a weed smoker, stirs my asthma up." and then switch the subject and inject positivity so you don't become a buzz kill from saying you don't smoke weed. "But we can definitely pour one up this weekend! First round of drinks is on me bro."

If you want to be a respected man be honest and transparent about yourself and have strong personal boundaries against things you don't allow into your life.

Good luck Troy

-Rob

 

[ray_zorse]

I'm seeing that the majority opinion here seems to be hanging out with Richie, not smoking if you don't want to smoke, but using his place for sex and maybe hangout after.

I'm going to go against that opinion. I think it's a terrible idea for a lot of reasons. After a first meeting or two, the frame of your relationship with someone is pretty much set and can't be changed, so you're now in a kind of teacher/student, dominant/submissive, leader/follower relationship with Richie and that's exactly what you do not want. You won't really learn anything from this position, your goal is to learn how to be the teacher/dominant/leader, and the only real way you can learn is by doing. If you carry on trying to learn seduction from Richie what you'll really be doing is practicing the student/submission/follower role and cementing it into your personality, which you don't want.

I speak from experience, if you look in my journal you can see a fair bit about a dude I call "AMOG buddy", he doesn't do too badly with women, he's a serial LTR kinda guy but he's pretty dominant (in his friendships and his relationships) and he from time to time attends stuff like sex parties with his girlfriend or whatever. He picks submissive girls who will do this stuff if he wants to. And, you know, he had tried stuff like anal sex or threesomes that was beyond my reach prior to GC. So he's quite experienced, and I suppose I wanted to learn off him at one time. Trouble is, I'd always have a miserable time hanging out with him, for precisely the kind of reasons Troy discusses here.

Now considering the seduction you're proposing, well she already knows Richie and gets all excited and wet about him, so the last thing you want is to be exposing her to Richie, she can do that herself if she wants to. That just sets up undesirable comparisons, I mean if something isn't an issue now, why make it an issue? And, in your seductions you want to be in control from A to B... from meet to sex... you're adding complications, you have to get the key off him or have him hide it etc, you have to hope he's cleaned the place up etc, what if he doesn't allow you enough time to do the deed and comes barging in ready to hangout, or ringing one or both of you on your phones, etc?

About weed, I see a lot of guys here fumbling around with it in their seductions, and it is a terrible idea, see my journal for "Sexy swimmer bodied raver chick" to get an idea just how pear-shaped dates can go once she's stoned, and how difficult it is to bring her back. I am qualified to speak on this matter having smoked weed pretty much every day from age 19 to 29, it's a miserable experience and I never want to go back to it. Weed is not a social drug, it makes you introverted and paranoid... never try it for the first time in the circumstances you describe, because some people have a bad reaction to it, I know because I've nursed a lot of them through their first marijuana experience.

Honestly, your logistics couldn't be that bad, and if they are, take her to the park or something...

Ray

 

[Troy]

I think it just depends on how much you really want to learn from this guy.

If he's as good as you say he is, he's definitely a natural. Watching the way he interacts with women, and hanging out in his social group would provide you with some real social calibration, faster than you would make on your own.

Definitely! There are things I need to figure out and only someone who can see me can tell me what to fix. Richie said his brother taught him all the game : how to treat girls and win guys respect. There is a lot to learn from him. If I roll with him I will have to keep up and provide a load of value to not become a burden.... Mhmm he drinks so I could bring a bottle of rum today and otherwise just be the happy dude who cracks jokes with him.

It boils down to this: do you value the logistics, his mentorship, and the ability to practice giving value back to people - or do you value comfort?

I value the mentorship... The comfort isn't comfortable anymore. I don't learn anything when I am comfortable.

The best thing to do in these situations is just be honest "you know I'm not much of a weed smoker, stirs my asthma up." and then switch the subject and inject positivity so you don't become a buzz kill from saying you don't smoke weed. "But we can definitely pour one up this weekend! First round of drinks is on me bro."

OK sir. That reminds me how I go back on my word a lot just to relate to girls. This morning I am texting a girl and she says "I like people who tattoo their eyes " and I thought that was ridiculous. Who in their right mind puts ink in their eyes? Yet because I wanted to relate to her I said " sure that girl who did that is cool "......I should stop doing that. I don't like something yet give the impression I absolutely adore it. However many times I disagree it causes more problems... People getting bored and irritated...... As if to say "how could you not like xyz "....I'm a have to sort that out some way (I have no clue)

I'm going to go against that opinion. I think it's a terrible idea for a lot of reasons. After a first meeting or two, the frame of your relationship with someone is pretty much set and can't be changed, so you're now in a kind of teacher/student, dominant/submissive, leader/follower relationship with Richie and that's exactly what you do not want. You won't really learn anything from this position, your goal is to learn how to be the teacher/dominant/leader, and the only real way you can learn is by doing. If you carry on trying to learn seduction from Richie what you'll really be doing is practicing the student/submission/follower role and cementing it into your personality, which you don't want.

I speak from experience, if you look in my journal you can see a fair bit about a dude I call "AMOG buddy", he doesn't do too badly with women, he's a serial LTR kinda guy but he's pretty dominant (in his friendships and his relationships) and he from time to time attends stuff like sex parties with his girlfriend or whatever. He picks submissive girls who will do this stuff if he wants to. And, you know, he had tried stuff like anal sex or threesomes that was beyond my reach prior to GC. So he's quite experienced, and I suppose I wanted to learn off him at one time. Trouble is, I'd always have a miserable time hanging out with him, for precisely the kind of reasons Troy discusses here.

Ray has a great point...(with one thing I go against). Being a leader is very important for a man. He needs to lead those he encounters. He needs to lead women for them to desire him for a long time to come. Richie could pose a lot of problems.... Introducing me to things I don't want to do, taking away my girls accidentally, possibly fucking them, and putting me in a role that upps his value while downing mine and being more powerful. Note he is a great guy so he wouldn't do this out of spite... It's just man with better game wins 90% of the time.

The competition could be great for me to practice being friends with him while keeping up. It's better to have a friend who can challenge me to step up than a stranger who will challenge me and not show me what to improve.

The teacher /student, leader /follower role thing you said got me thinking. He has better game and I need to learn what he does to be so popular. Why do all the girls like him? What can I learn from his conversations? Etc...

What I go against is leading the person I want to learn from... I have never seen a student successfully lead his teacher. The teacher has the dominant role and it is the students role to shut up and listen. Sometime ago I saw a guy on here (can't remember his name) and he was a beginner yet posted and disagreed with everything the top guys said. Who was he to rule? He should prove himself before blabbering away. That's why I stick to what I know ...if can only assume something I never give advice because in the end it will come back to bite me when I can't prove my salt .

Correct me if I misinterpreted your statement. You are saying I should not be the student to Richie because it will create more problems? I think I need that kind of mentor to push me because certain things I have no idea how to fix. I need a leader to show me the path. A blind man cannot lead a man who can see. What if I attempt to lead him and he realizes I don't have the game (as yet ) to be in the dominant role?

I am qualified to speak on this matter having smoked weed pretty much every day from age 19 to 29, it's a miserable experience and I never want to go back to it. Weed is not a social drug, it makes you introverted and paranoid... never try it for the first time in the circumstances you describe, because some people have a bad reaction to it, I know because I've nursed a lot of them through their first marijuana experience.

Note: This is a touchy topic. Some say weed makes them feel great and as Drexel said " it relaxes ". Others say it destroys a person's mental state, making them more anxious, irritated and can lead to depression. My theory is it depends on who the person is. What are their values and what can they tolerate.

I too have seen more negative side effects when persons smoked. It's probably best I leave the weed alone. As Mr. Rob said, stand my ground for what I believe and joke with Richie to not kill the vibes.


Troy

Update : I just had the guts to break up with Ashley. She popped the question and I took the opportunity to tell her we are done before her. I'm feeling really sad but I am going out to meet new girls now. As for her she is going to be fucking a load of guys... Sigh... I will say I don't care now.. I only hope I mean it later... Which means I need to move on quickly