Being sexual on dates

[Mr. X.]

Hi guys. I'm new here and total beginner. I've been reading GC for a while and it helped me to understand all this stuff but I still didn't have any real results.
I just came home from a bad date (drinks) and need help with few things. I've been a "nice guy" my whole life and it's hard to get rid of it. It would've been good if we were friends, I deep dived and asked her personal questions (when I asked her what she likes in a guy she thought it was a weird question), we laughed... but there wasn't anything sexual (and this was a problem on all of my dates). I planned to kiss her during the date, but she wasn't sitting close so it was weird (this is still unnatural to me) and I just managed to touch her a few times. After, I followed her to her tram station and asked her what she thinks of me. She asked where did I find that question and had no opinion. When I went for a kiss, she just looked paralyzed and frightened like a deer in headlights so I just hugged her and left.

Now I have 2 questions:

1) How do I stop being "nice guy" on dates and start being sexual?
2) I don't see much future with this girl but for practice I will invite her for a second date. Any advice on when to do it and how would be appreciate. I was thinking asking her to come to my place so we can cook something... Should I do this soon or do I wait until next week?

Thanks to anyone reading this and answering.

 

[Raqimus]

Hi guys. I'm new here and total beginner. I've been reading GC for a while and it helped me to understand all this stuff but I still didn't have any real results.
I just came home from a bad date (drinks) and need help with few things. I've been a "nice guy" my whole life and it's hard to get rid of it. It would've been good if we were friends, I deep dived and asked her personal questions (when I asked her what she likes in a guy she thought it was a weird question), we laughed... but there wasn't anything sexual (and this was a problem on all of my dates). I planned to kiss her during the date, but she wasn't sitting close so it was weird (this is still unnatural to me) and I just managed to touch her a few times. After, I followed her to her tram station and asked her what she thinks of me. She asked where did I find that question and had no opinion. When I went for a kiss, she just looked paralyzed and frightened like a deer in headlights so I just hugged her and left.

Now I have 2 questions:

1) How do I stop being "nice guy" on dates and start being sexual?
2) I don't see much future with this girl but for practice I will invite her for a second date. Any advice on when to do it and how would be appreciate. I was thinking asking her to come to my place so we can cook something... Should I do this soon or do I wait until next week?

Thanks to anyone reading this and answering.

Ookay, so yea don't ask what kind of guy she likes if its coming from a place of low value as supplication, which is a nice guy frame. Coming from a nice guy frame it's no good, dont do this. If it was coming from a more dominant/sexual/playful frame it can work. Ie oh I bet you like to fuck nerds with glasses or something like that but perhaps thats too much to start with.

If she was sitting so far away and you just managed to touch her perhaps it wasn't communicating the right thing; it might of been a little awkward on her part start small like examine a ring or something or a necklace. Call her out on it but not in a mean way more in a playful way IE why are you being so weird and sitting so far away scooch over, I don't bite; unless your into that stuff.

Also " I followed her to her tram station" No. If you don't have to go that way don't go out of your way, change that to I led her to her tram station if anything or i went with her to blah blah blah, it sounds like your a little puppy following her around girls dont want to fuck puppies!. I know it can be a little daunting going for that first kiss just right and think oh no ill just wait and do it here but don't! Just do! Also her reaction has shown me that yes, you didn't come off as an option. Sorry I got off topic

1. Innuendos are your best friend, I mean you can literally make anything sound dirty. You can practice with friends(yes even say gay shit to guy friends if that's what you do ) with tv shows etc. Here i think it was a matter of not communicating intent. This can help you https://www.girlschase.com/content/acting-intent . Also you can't just stop being a nice guy on dates, you have to stop and cut that frame out in general. It's cool if your nice nd coming from a place of giving but not cool if your being nice to get; no what I'm sayin? Read this https://www.girlschase.com/content/genui ... rogant-man. Don't make big changes but make small progressive ones. Learn to make them apart of yourself rather than things you consciously do. Remember no big leaps, small steps.

2. You can try and invite her home, it is bold; but it doesn't look like enough sexual comfort was established, or maybe she had bad breath lets just go with that . Just try and see, and sooner works better than later. Don't wait so long because she can and will forget.