Being sexy around the "wrong" women?

[Lover]

Yesterday I discovered something I've been doing unconsciously to this point, and I need advice to move forward.

The pattern I have observed
- I'm being the sexy and seductive man I want to be when I talk to girls I don't find attractive. After some time, I sense that they are on to me (i.e. attracted to me and subtly chasing).
- The girls that I do find attractive, I always seem to be careful around them. I don't wanna fuck up, but the vibe isn't bad either. I'm just moving waaaaaaay too slow, and as time passes I realize it's a no-go.

Thoughts
From my observations, I think that I'm relaxed around girls I don't plan to lay. I don't care about fucking up with them. I use chase and sex frames if the convo allows it. In short, I believe I follow the law of least effort around these girls. They become all flirty, investing etc. But the ones I'm attracted to.. I think I have unconsciously put them on some pedestal because I think a lot about what I say around them, how I say things and so on. Even when I meet new girls, I happen to think a lot because of fear of fucking up. I make them do small investments, but that's as far as I go. No sex talk, no nothing.

Mind you that these girls I'm talking about are from my university

The questions
1: How do I become relaxed around these girls I'm attracted to as I am with the girls I'm not attracted to?

2: With my limited partner count, should I try to bang the ones I'm not attracted to if I can escalate to that stage - just for the sake of sex? Or should I let these ones go since it has been going on for at least a year with each of them? Since I'm talking sexually to them and they back at me, I'm believing that I'm giving them the wrong idea of our "friendship".

a-jay

PS. I'm having a good laugh while re-reading my second question.. I feel like some kind of nice guy who has been beating around the bush for too long and finally ready to make his move

 

[Smith]

a-jay,

I'm trying to completely get the very attractive girls off the pedestal too.

The questions
1: How do I become relaxed around these girls I'm attracted to as I am with the girls I'm not attracted to?

2: With my limited partner count, should I try to bang the ones I'm not attracted to if I can escalate to that stage - just for the sake of sex? Or should I let these ones go since it has been going on for at least a year with each of them? Since I'm talking sexually to them and they back at me, I'm believing that I'm giving them the wrong idea of our "friendship".

For your first question, talk to everyone, especially the unattractive ones until you can have genuine fun with them and get to the point where there's no difference between beautiful and ugly girls in your mind. Not only does this remove that "hot girl pedestal" , you won't feel like they're that special anymore when you can have just as much fun with them as the unattractive ones. Bring your best self when you're around the unattractive girls and follow your process to the T for the sake of practice, i.e. get their number, pulling them home. Put yourself completely out there in every interaction. Don't half-ass it just because she's unattractive. The best tennis players in the world always play their best game regardless of who they're playing against. The joy is in expressing yourself and cultivating your personality, then choose to fuck the girls you like. With the more attractive girls, you just have to be a little more aggressive, but follow the process that you have tried and tested on other girls.
Secondly, realize that beauty is fleeting. Any girl can make themselves look good and sexually appealing to you. Develop a more mature appreciation of beauty. Get some beautiful girl friends, and you'll see that they're not that different.

 

[Lover]

Smith, thank you! I can see where this is going in the long run!

Bring your best self when you're around the unattractive girls and follow your process to the T for the sake of practice, i.e. get their number, pulling them home.

Since English is not my native language, what do you mean by "follow your process to the T"?

The best tennis players in the world always play their best game regardless of who they're playing against.

I should simply use sport analogies in seduction from now on. You don't know how easy you made your point just by this comparison. And I feel more motivated than ever. (you should do articles for GC that motivates the people )

Secondly, realize that beauty is fleeting. Any girl can make themselves look good and sexually appealing to you. Develop a more mature appreciation of beauty. Get some beautiful girl friends, and you'll see that they're not that different.

In my head, I know this. I understand that girls are nothing but cute and silly, and, you said yourself, they're not that different. But I still happen to pedestalize the attractive ones unconsciously. I'm glad I know this now so that I can work to improve it for the better.

Keep working hard, my man!

a-jay

 

[Smith]

Since English is not my native language, what do you mean by "follow your process to the T"?

It means keeping pushing yourself with every girl, attractive or not! Remember the sports analogy? Show your best self even if you're talking to an unattractive girl. Sharpen your blade every opportunity you got!

In my head, I know this. I understand that girls are nothing but cute and silly, and, you said yourself, they're not that different. But I still happen to pedestalize the attractive ones unconsciously. I'm glad I know this now so that I can work to improve it for the better.

I know that's hard man! I still fall into this now and then. It won't be a quick-fix, but you just gotta be aware of any thoughts that's putting them on pedestal whenever you're around them.