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Being shy and not looking like a player - Pros and Cons ?!

Metalus

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 13, 2013
Messages
22
Hi everyone!
Lately i have been talking to a female friend of mine (and some more woman told me the same thing).
She told me im not looking like some sort of player but more like a shy person (although sometimes she agrees that i can look different).
Fact is that I am a shy person.
I just wonder if looking like a shy person is something I should work on.
Just to get this straight. Im not looking bad or something. Sometimes girls approach me (or send their friends).

In this article Cody talks about this aspect of game:
https://www.girlschase.com/content/seductive-power-shy

But the real questions for me right now are:
Should i work on being less shy (if so - how ?)
Should i just approach more woman (coz my number of approches is usually low and i know this is important !) and this wont be a "problem" for long ?
On the other hand:
Is looking like a "player" actually a dis/advantage ?
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Drck

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Feb 14, 2013
Messages
1,488
Difficult answers. You should definitely be talking to more girls, it has lots of advantages such as increased confidence and experience, and decreased overall shyness….

The best work you can do to decrease shyness is simply exposure to more girls. If you are really shy you can try to get some job where you have to talk and deal with a lot of people. Answering phones, customer service, being a waiter for summer and so on. By being exposed to lots of people every day will give you confidence with dealing with people, including girls… Work on confidence but do't pretend to be overly confident...

You can take public speaking in college. Most hate that class but it has lots of advantages: you have to put your balls out there, talk in front of everyone including many girls... Or volunteer to do presentation(s) for your co-students or colleagues. Again, it is for the sake of talking in front of large(r) group – once you are able to talk in front of many people you should not have problems talking with girls. Public speaking is many times listed as number 1 fear to overcome…

As far as shyness, it all depends. Being shy can be great seduction tool, assuming that you are confident and attractive enough (fundamentals!!!). If she is more experienced she can really enjoy a shy guy, she enjoys the seduction. I usually pretend that I am shy and naïve (well, I don’t really have to pretend :) ), I add some Nice Guy smiles, and it can be even hilarious how she is trying to seduce me. She does all the work and “drags” me with her, I just kinda have to give her the right direction...

On the other hand, if she is not experienced the shyness will most likely not work for. Here your shyness can be an obstacle; here you should really be leading…

If you are shy but at the same time you are looking like a player, it is a bad combination. You are lying, you are pretending and acting as if you are having a lot of experience – but you really don’t. You look like a teaser and she might get quite disappointed because at first she expected too much from you... Remember, she can read you very well by judging your actions and inaction and then compare them to your talks and looks; She simply knows if you are experienced or not. Don’t pretend. The good thing is that if she is really attracted to you she will forgive you many flaws, and she will forgive you being shy…

Also, if you are looking like a player you are showing many of your cards. Real player doesn’t show any cards, they all remain mysterious...
 
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