“Lover VS Provider” Theory And The M/W Complex By Teevester aka Tva_oslo:
Women are seeking two types of mates – call it different providers. Consider sex being a trade, what you are trading for the sex defines what kind of provider you are. The men women are seeking who are confident, independent, attractive having a lot of women chasing them are called “sex providers” – this is the man women finds sexually attractive – the man who women would like to have sex just for the sake of having sex. These men are often behaving sexually toward women, making themselves being perceived as sexual beings – sex providers. This type of men is usually called “alpha males” or “lovers” in community lingo. Important to point out, these men are trading sex for sex. However, these are a minority – whereas the majority of men are providers of anything else of women’s needs such as social value, material goods, emotional support and so on. These men will trade something else than sex in for having sex with a woman. As a matter of fact this type of providers tend to get sex from being in relationships with women.
Now you might ask why is that a problem? Well whenever a woman gets “too attracted to you” in ways that are not purely sexual (-i.e. not perceiving you as lover/sex provider), women will tend to act in very pure and a-sexual way toward those men – she will start expressing purity. This is because she feels more attractive when ever she acts non-sexual toward men and feels unattractive when she is behaving too sexually or promiscuous. Women in fact believe we men do not like women who are sexually open – as they are very familiar with the complex many men have which is called “the Madonna/whore” complex. There are many versions of this complex but the most common one is described as men perceiving women as either plain whores, who are just sex tools without, who are useless when it comes to relationships, or “madonnas”, which men perceives as pure and good. These “madonnas” being known as the pure and correct women, are often perceived by men as better fitted for relationships. Women aware of the following will then act in way that communicates that she is a Madonna – in order words she will behave very a-sexually toward male who they perceive as potential relationship candidates. This is because they believe, and they are right in most of the case that men usually do prefer women that are “pure and correct” because men fantasize about women that are exclusive to them.
The sad fact is that the idea of the pure Madonna remains just a plain fantasy. The cold fact is that no women are pure madonnas, neither are they whores for that instance – any women can be sweet and correct, but they are also “whores” as every women have a sexual biological drive – this is a universal truth about healthy women. Still many men believe some madonnas do exist – we have all heard “she is not like the rest”. Now the problem occurs whenever a man is too attractive to a woman in a way that is not just purely sexual, she starts perceiving that man as a boyfriend potential – nothing bad with that, but she will perceive him as a provider – meaning that the relationship would not be based on the sexual aspect. Therefore she is better off expressing her “Madonna side” by showing purity – acting a-sexual in order to win her man over, as that what believes works. This is why women will often make men wait for sex – “I am not that kind of girl” –, which is something we don’t want to happen. We don’t want women to act pure toward us, as we want sexual openness – women fucking us quickly and good. Many times we just want to simply fuck a girl, not enter a relationship – or if we do want to enter a relationship with that girl, we do not want to commit on a false premise – her being a pure Madonna. A quick word of advice is to never ever enter a relationship on her terms – as you don’t want to exchange sex for anything else than sex. Keep in mind that you can easily start relationships with women by being perceived as a sex provider – these relationships will be of better quality and last longer.
