Body language: good posture or relaxed?

[lux7]

Some say it’s better to be the one with the most relaxed position in a group. Makes sense.
And it’s also good to have a good posture. Makes sense as well.

However I can think of many cases where the two things are mutually exclusive.

Imagine you are in group in a semi-formal situation where some people around look a bit tense and you have a comfortable couch/chair.
It would look good to show you’re completely relaxed.

But the most relaxed position in this case would be to “let yourself go” and unless you tell me your most and comfortable position is always straight and chin high, relaxed definitely isn't proper posture.

Any thoughts on this?

 

[Doctor]

My thoughts on this, when in a group situations, is to imagine you are a Lion and the others are your pride.

Might sound silly but it really works for me! So you are relaxed, moving slowly, surveying your territory. Avoid slouching, or anything which makes you look 'weak'. So, in your situation of being in a comfortable couch/chair I would generally relax back into it but be sure to take up plenty of space and keep my chest up and out (back straight).

I guess something like these guys.

Then if something piques your interest, say a pretty girl working to attract your attention, you could lean forward to focus your body language onto her a bit more, as a reward for her efforts, but I would avoid anything too intense or focused before you are alone. Something like this.

Well that's just what I have been using, and it seems to work well. I am interested to see what others can add to this though!