FR Boring girl, how to avoid these?

[Tkr]

Hey everybody,
I just started taking an active routine on cold approach and held myself to 1 phone # per day. I met this girl at a coffeeshop and grabbed her # as she was busy working on her thesis. Things went surprisingly well, local girls here either don't respond on their phone at all if they don't like you or respond within a minute each time if they do. Very straightforward, got her on a date today.

The last time I went on a date with a girl like this she shut me down before I could even try to kiss her, and I think the issue is that some girls are just looking for boyfriends and just aren't interested in casual affairs.Things didn't turn out the way I wanted, and I'm writing this report to try and identify which girls will be timewasters and maybe correct some things I did.

I have an easy time keeping a lighthearted sexy vibe, and girls that are interested will eat it up and bite every time I toss some bait for future plans. I talk a bit on how I like passion, that I like to dance tango, am always open to new adventures, and I toss these things over to gauge how down she is. For example, if a girl bites on the tango bit I know that I can invite her home later to dance a bit and she'll come with. This girl was very submissive the whole time, but just wouldn't bite on anything. Later I caught her playing with her empty glass, I took that as an escalation window but she just wouldn't have it.

I've noticed that these girls tend to have their own demeanor about them that sets them apart from other girls that are more DTF. A girl who's interested will keep up with the vibe and agree to everything enthusiastically, girls looking for boyfriends tend to me more withdrawn and a total bore. She asked me whether I had a girlfriend, and I felt that I had to get her more engaged so I shared my mindset about not having one because one is not enough. She smiled a bit, but I could tell by her demeanor the rest of the date that she felt let down and just wanted to leave. Perhaps my response is something I want to look into and tweak a bit. At least the experience was good because it was my first date entirely in Spanish.

How do you guys distinguish between them when you first meet? What kind of tests/screens do you make in order to avoid dating girls who will predictably waste your time?

 

[Whizzy]

Re: FR:Boring girl, how to avoid these?

Try giving this a try, keep topics focused on her. This way you can understand her better and she will feel as though you know her like no other

I generally only tell them things once they've worked for it a little, and it helps to create a mystery vibe and also makes you seem humble

 

[Tkr]

Re: FR:Boring girl, how to avoid these?

Hey Whizzy, that's a more constructive look at it, thanks. I just don't feel genuinely comfortable pretending to like someone and this particular girl legitimately bored me. The other day I literally zoned out after this girl went on a spin about how she programs computers and crap for her office.

I try and keep things about myself to a minimum, but they ask so I give back in doses. I'll do what you say and see if I feel different about it, staying in a positive productive bubble no matter how mundane the topics are can feel good so I guess that's what I have to aim for if I really care about making it work with her.

 

[Raqimus]

Re: FR:Boring girl, how to avoid these?

You could of tossed on a bored look if the computer stuff wasn't something she was too animated about it and instead try to lead the conversation towards other topics she instead can get animated on and that you enjoy too. Or even asked if she really enjoyed it etc and gotten into a deep dive. Oh and yea girls can sometimes get a bit boring and you may not feel comfortable liking her but you could've foeced an interest if you get what I mean, not a fake one but genuine interest

 

[Whizzy]

Re: FR:Boring girl, how to avoid these?

Glad it helped Tkr. If you find a girl boring then try to spice up the questions, there are tons of questions that can excite her and hopefully interest you. They can range from goals to games that will tell you loads about her personality if you like psychology.

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: FR:Boring girl, how to avoid these?

I dated a workaholic woman who just kept talking about her job, colleagues' dramas etc, in desperation I thread cut to rekationships (hoping turn it sexual) and she did the exact same thing, banging on about her LTR, I was bored to tears and desperate to do something when I realized I was inappropriately rewarding her with attention, I just let my gaze wander off and every 30sec or so return to her, as if I was struggling to be polite and show an interest, before drifting off again. Magic results, really worked a charm and shut those threads down quick. Show an interest in her work (heck I write computer code myself but never tell girls this) but if she goes into too much detail shut her down by thread cutting or use the technique described if u feel like a badass

cheers, Ray

Edit: Also I think you may be inadvertently cockblocking yourself by verbalizing your lover value and dismissing your boyfriend value. This will give you an attainability issue with girls who are in the BF market (i.e. nearly all the girls I date). See Chase's advice on the issue here:
https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=7700
I think you have to use nonverbals to set your frame (but I'm not good at this and can't advise how) and consider date compression, although if you genuinely can't be bothered then don't lead her on I suppose. It might be good practice for when u meet a high value woman who won't move fast though?

 

[Tkr]

Re: FR:Boring girl, how to avoid these?

Oh and yea girls can sometimes get a bit boring and you may not feel comfortable liking her but you could've foeced an interest if you get what I mean, not a fake one but genuine interest

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's not too hard to do either, it's just that when you don't feel rewarded for trying to like her your willpower runs out fast. I think I just need to get used to not having every single girl I meet being animated in her flirtations. They say exposed palms communicate that she's open, and this particular girl wasn't comfortable doing anything more than that.

Edit: Also I think you may be inadvertently cockblocking yourself by verbalizing your lover value and dismissing your boyfriend value. This will give you an attainability issue with girls who are in the BF market (i.e. nearly all the girls I date)

Yeah, that was the first time I ever verbalized it to anyone because I couldn't tell what page she was on. I went indirect when I met her and I had been meaning to say something more direct but she wasn't as pretty as I remembered so I couldn't bring myself to compliment her on anything. So when she asked me about a girlfriend I took it as a chance to communicate what my intentions were with her. Probably should of handled it a little differently, I have a hard time calibrating to girls who aren't so sexually experienced and willing, which is a problem because I want to start dating them.

Glad it helped Tkr. If you find a girl boring then try to spice up the questions, there are tons of questions that can excite her and hopefully interest you. They can range from goals to games that will tell you loads about her personality if you like psychology.

Yesterday I took one of these more conservative girls for an exciting tango date (I already knew she had a boyfriend so I got wasted before we met up (unrelated story tho)) and that was really interesting. I was able to put your advice to use, and it was a great learning experience. And in case you've never learned, sober girls can figure out that you're drunk in about 1 minute, maybe less haha. The giveaways were louder speech and beer breath, breath-mints just don't work. She didn't care though, it actually got her to open up some more and we had a good time.

Thanks for the replies everyone, I appreciate it
- TR