"Bossy" - Feminism

[PinotNoir]

So, there's this new campaign to ban bossy:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/sheryl-sandberg-launches-ban-bossy-campaign-empower-girls/story?id=22819181
http://banbossy.com/

In short, this woman views "bossy" as a derogatory word used upon women at a young age, thereby causing women to associate negative connotations with being a boss as a woman and developing this mentality throughout their growth.

My personal opinion:

When I first heard this, I was shocked. I use bossy as a compliment a lot more than as an insult (if ever). In fact, my last girlfriend was bossy, and I really liked that about her (not that she could control me; for example, she tried to make me hold her purse). Now I can't use bossy to describe a girl, and she'll get offended? I'm still using it....

Next, how is this one word the cause of such a mental model? I think this is a case of correlation vs causation. And, if we do need to call a girl bossy in a negative way, what word should we use? Pushy? This can be necessary at times:

*Little Sally keeps forcing Mary to play dominoes with her even though Mary doesn't want to play dominoes.*
"OK, Sally, you need to stop being so pushy."

Will pushy become the new "bad" word?

Lastly, you know what guys call "pushy" guys? We call them assholes. No censor. That's just how guys are.

Just a rant and thoughts.

-PN

#stopbanningwordsilike

 

[Oskar]

What bullshit,

I imagine the corporate meeting deciding on this new way to trivialize peoples' liberal tendencies went something like this:

Mr. Director: "Well, we thoroughly scared consumers by demonizing immigrants and Arabic people last week, so I believe this week is where we convince them that their opinions matter. Yep, sounds about right. So what socially repressive cause will we superficially brand as social progress this week?
Mr. Feminist Rep: "This is our week. Happy woman's day everyone by the way!"
Mr. Director: "Yes, right back atcha! What do you have in mind for this week then Mr. Feminist Rep?
Mr. Feminist Rep: Hmm, I'm not sure -- what do you think Mr. Psychologist?
Mr. Psychologist: Well, we could pick an English word that's historically been vaguely masculine and get people to rally behind making it gender neutral? Worked excellently to give the appearance of social equality with "businessperson" and "sales representative" while we were systematically taking away their rights a few decades ago. But you know, actually, if I think about it, I kind of feel bad for tricking women into thinking they should feel inferior when they aren't treated like men.
Mr. Director: Here's six million dollars from women taxpayers. Now get on with it.
Mr. Psychologist: Hmm, I feel better now. So anyway, when you set up the campaign just follow the usual routine: get our army of beautiful celebrities to give it their support -- as everyone trusts beautiful people, put it on all the tv stations repeating every hour, pay some academics to take it seriously, and watch as we manufacture consent -- be careful, even you might start taking this serious Mr. Director! Then we make it seem like anyone who isn't with is us is by default against us, and finally we praise everyone for living in a free and democratic society. Sounds good?
Chorus: Yea! Glory to Capital; praised be thy name!

All kidding aside, maybe it is a good idea to hold two different things to the same standards?

JK, it's a terrible idea, which, in this case, ignores biology and narcissisticly tries to override the fundamental differences between the sexes. Yes, we are all human and men and women are mostly the same, but there are some fundamental differences (in particular with the roles that seem to need to be played). Yet what seems to be happening is a systematic trivialization of real difference under the guise of superficial difference, which is then used to mask and perpetuate the reduction of the polarity of the sexes (from which even the average man could derive meaning from), to make the majority of both sexes insecure and better cogs serving their God: Capital.

-Oskar

 

[Marty]

Pinot,

I think the best way to deal with this sort of thing is to ignore it. Remember the "Y2K bug"? That got forgotten about pretty quick, didn't it? What about that big hoo-ha a few years back about actresses being too slim, need to show some fat ones so as not to embarrass the obese amongst us? Now they're all stick-thin again. Generally speaking, commonsense takes care of most of these crackpot suggestions, they're sort of ruthlessly weeded out by natural selection and the whole thing turns into a big anticlimax.

Don't forget also that high achievers like Sheryl Sandberg became so successful precisely because they have the imagination to think the unthinkable; the flip side is that they rely heavily on the rest of us to kill off the ridiculous ideas and take the brilliant ones and run with them. Just think of Steve Jobs: batshit crazy and one of the greatest thinkers of our time.

If you have daughters (I don't) you can deal with it at home, but I think that a good amount of girls and young women are well-enough attuned to what males find desirable to figure it out for themselves. That certainly applies to the body-shape issues I mentioned above and as far as bossiness is concerned, from what I've seen even quite assertive young women become meek and pliant in the presence of attractive members of the opposite sex.

Occasionally I do say "Bossy little thing, aren't you?" with a wink and a smile to women I like—typically when they can't get me to do anything at all—usually resulting in laughter, blushes, or give-as-good-as-you-get banter of the "Yeah, and I get shit done" variety. All in good fun

-Marty

PS a good followup to the above is to ask "Who wears the pants at home?"—then when she reluctantly admits that she does, or sort of half-asses the answer ("Well, I do let my husband make some decisions") continue with "I wouldn't tolerate that! " in a tongue-in-cheek tone... the less accustomed she is to being talked to like that, the greater interest it seems to generate.

 

[Nuncle]

Women are bossy. I'm sorry but there's no getting round it.

Anyone who has ever spent any time outside their house can tell you that.

Feminists do love to invent things to get angry about.

They keep saying "oooh a strong woman is called bossy but an aggressive man is admired!"

Er, no. Sometimes strong people of both sexes are hated and sometimes they are admired. It depends on the context and the way they do it.