Hey all, I don't usually post on forums.. but I figured I'd see if anyone has advice for the situation I'm in at the moment.
I'm currently in college, the semester ends in two weeks, and I'm leaving the country to go abroad next semester. There's this girl in the neighboring college that I met a few months ago whom I invited to come to my fraternity's date party as my date a couple weeks ago. Prior to that, we'd just been friends and had gone rock climbing a few times. So she came and we ended up making out (after she'd resisted the first time I went to kiss her) and I brought her back to my place to escalate things. When we got back, she was acting very shocked with herself saying that she didn't plan for this at all. She resisted anything more than kissing, but we ended up staying up until 6am talking, and then went to bed together. I drove her back the next day and gave her a goodbye kiss.
After that, it was Thanksgiving break, so I went home for a week. When I got back a week later, we went out to the bar to get a drink. Again, we chatted for a while, kissed a bit, and I ended up taking her back to my place again. Again, she didn't want to go any further than making out, and we stayed up until 6am talking like before, and then went to bed together. The next morning she offered to take me out for lunch, so we went to the diner and she paid for me. Then I dropped her off back at her place.
My fraternity has another date party this Friday, so I asked her to come. She sent me a couple long messages saying that she had fun the last two times, but never really stopped to think about it, and how she's leaving in two weeks (since the semester is ending, and then I'll be going abroad next semester) and how it was spontaneous and we're just two friends who were feeling it in the moment and she hadn't planned for either night to end the way it did. And she didn't want to "plan the next steps" or anything. I basically said that we shouldn't have any expectations or put a label on anything and should just make the most of whatever time we have.
She ended up responding saying that she'd gladly come to our date party, but "as a friend." Famous last words haha.
I guess I'm just a little confused by this situation. At first I suspected that I was placed in the boyfriend zone, but then after she rationalized and realized that there's no chance of us sustaining a relationship in the future because of circumstances, was moved to the friend zone. Is it even possible to transition to the lover zone at this stage? Thing is, she seems like a somewhat conservative girl, but then again, I could be wrong.
So, any advice on what I can do here? No matter what I do, would she ever even be willing to go further than just making out?
Thanks for any advice guys.
Boston
I'm currently in college, the semester ends in two weeks, and I'm leaving the country to go abroad next semester. There's this girl in the neighboring college that I met a few months ago whom I invited to come to my fraternity's date party as my date a couple weeks ago. Prior to that, we'd just been friends and had gone rock climbing a few times. So she came and we ended up making out (after she'd resisted the first time I went to kiss her) and I brought her back to my place to escalate things. When we got back, she was acting very shocked with herself saying that she didn't plan for this at all. She resisted anything more than kissing, but we ended up staying up until 6am talking, and then went to bed together. I drove her back the next day and gave her a goodbye kiss.
After that, it was Thanksgiving break, so I went home for a week. When I got back a week later, we went out to the bar to get a drink. Again, we chatted for a while, kissed a bit, and I ended up taking her back to my place again. Again, she didn't want to go any further than making out, and we stayed up until 6am talking like before, and then went to bed together. The next morning she offered to take me out for lunch, so we went to the diner and she paid for me. Then I dropped her off back at her place.
My fraternity has another date party this Friday, so I asked her to come. She sent me a couple long messages saying that she had fun the last two times, but never really stopped to think about it, and how she's leaving in two weeks (since the semester is ending, and then I'll be going abroad next semester) and how it was spontaneous and we're just two friends who were feeling it in the moment and she hadn't planned for either night to end the way it did. And she didn't want to "plan the next steps" or anything. I basically said that we shouldn't have any expectations or put a label on anything and should just make the most of whatever time we have.
She ended up responding saying that she'd gladly come to our date party, but "as a friend." Famous last words haha.
I guess I'm just a little confused by this situation. At first I suspected that I was placed in the boyfriend zone, but then after she rationalized and realized that there's no chance of us sustaining a relationship in the future because of circumstances, was moved to the friend zone. Is it even possible to transition to the lover zone at this stage? Thing is, she seems like a somewhat conservative girl, but then again, I could be wrong.
So, any advice on what I can do here? No matter what I do, would she ever even be willing to go further than just making out?
Thanks for any advice guys.
Boston
