LR  Breaking the dry spell with a cute girl from Bumble

orkie123

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 21, 2023
Messages
165
Hey all, just broke a 6 month dry spell after breaking up with my ex so felt excited to share for my own growth!

Bumble
I only use Bumble occasionally as dating app as the rest either are non existent or too competitive where I live.

Matched with this cute 20yo latina girl who loves to travel. on the app we sent about 5-8 texts each about travelling and me asking her to qualify about herself as a travel partner. I said I had high expectations for whom I travel with and used that to set up the date via soft close -> hard close. Short answers but no resistance agreeing. She asked to confirm a few hours before hand and confirm dress style. So I went a bit bold and went with "sexy dress code" that I've copied from PWF.

I liked her vibe from the start and I hope the ending of this LR doesn't ruin it as while we are not compatible for a relationship, I would love to spend more time with her.

Meeting
When we met outside the bar, I gave her a hug and had prepared what I was going to say with based on my day so far. It was a observation between how guys and girls like shopping differently. She didn't relate much but I always prefer starting on a story rather than "oh so how was your day". I like to raise the energy from the get go to remove the initial judgement of "Oh I hope this won't be a boring awkward date" and starting with something from my day is easy to do as it's all true and recent anyway.

VENUE
Chilled quiet bar with great aesthetics 5 mins walk from my apartment. We sat on a couch so we were touching from the get-go. Got lucky as it was the last table available and usually in such cases its reserved. I did have a backup place but it would have slowed down the vibe.

During The Date
- Started off with a lot of banter already due to our different English accents. She was very playfully aggressive and in the past, I would have stuck with that me vs you vibe for too long. This time, as I genuinely didn't care on the topics she was "fighting me" about so I quickly "joined" her side and moved to more personal topics. However, any time she said something that kind of contradicts, I would tease her on it.

- I deep dived into why she moved countries and why she likes to travel, what she misses from home etc. Side stepping into threads before coming back to the main one again.

- I read quite a few of Alek's sexual gambits and decided I was going to try a few of them. I usually only do a variation of the " no judgement" one. I started with the Good/bad sex but didn't get to finish it as we side tracked onto a more fun convo. She laughed as the transition to sex was very random but as the energy was high, it wasn't too bad.

- I then did the no judgement and also the tantra/deep breathing one. I've done some meditation so I can explain that quite well. However, she didn't buy into it at all. Still, holding hands for about 10s was still cute and in my view helped the connection.

- After a while, I forgot to switch back to social topics and she did it for me quite bluntly. She helped me out. But I've learned to just take these gifts and learn from them.

Kino
- I was very socially touchy from the start. As she was sitting right next to me, I would let her lean into me, or I lean into her, I would tap her thigh too often (she even called it out, and I said "You don't like the taps? Ok i'll do a slow seductive touch instead" and just teasingly glided my hand on her thigh. She responded well to it.

-The whole leading, pushing her around, grabbing her hand to see her rings.

-At one point she told me she can become very complainy while hiking, so I told her "it's cool, if we hike, I'll bring masking tape" and just play-role masked her mouth.


BOUNCE

- They took forever to bring us our 2nd drinks, so I said lets just pay and go for a walk. My plan was to go through this nice view point to another bar, but as we got out of the bar, she asked me where do I live. I took the hint, waited about a minute with random talk and then said, you know what -lets just go back to mine and watch something with free drinks. She didn't resist so I grabbed her hand and changed direction.


ESCALATION

To be honest. She really helped me out here. Throughout the date, she kept saying "I don't sleep on first dates" "not looking for ONS" but her actions and stories she told me just didn't align with those words. Any time this incongruency happened to me in the past, It's been on so I kind of just agreed and proceeded anyway.

- When we got to my apartment, I didn't even get a chance to ask her to take off her shoes. She asked me if she had to herself. This has happened to me 3 times in a row now, Are girls just more polite or do they just know what to do haha.

-We start watching a movie and drinking more alcohol. She drinks more than me (I don't drink that much anymore). And at one point I go for the kiss after the triangulation stare. It was a lil uncalibrated but I felt like I had to do something. She half accepted it but I felt that it wasnt right so I moved away. Again she helped me out by saying "let me get more drunk first" haha. Not the best but I played it off cool.

- After a while I put her legs on top of mine on the couch and was just playing with her back with my hand. At one point something made her jump, and I moved my hand away in a "wtf happened". Dont really remember what it was but think she just kinda choked on alcohol or something. Anyway she said dw indicating to put my hand back where it was.

- Multiple times she asked me what I was looking for on Bumble. I was completely honest and said outright that I'm not looking for anything exclusive but I'm looking for FWB and a connection. I'm not very good at side stepping this topic due to my thread in beginner's section. I would rather not have to "open up my cards" so early but I also prefer to be direct with it and let the girls make their own choice on whether that's okey with them. You could tell she was calculating whether she wanted to go through with it given what I said.

- Suggested I give her a massage and she agreed. While massaging her back, I gave her a cold read that was quite deep but also a nice genuine compliment. I felt she has dealt with a lot of difficulties on her own and still had a very positive outlook on life and enjoying the moment.

After some time with the massage, clothes started coming off one by one for better access while doing "a very professional massage with no funny business" and then I went down on her by initially only pulling her pants to one side. She tasted delicious and after a few mins she asked me to get a condom. Also, she was very slim, but had these beautiful juicy tits that just appeared surprisingly big which I did not notice while she still had her top on. I was so shocked I had to force myself to look at her eyes as otherwise I would have stared like a young boy hahaha.

AFTER SEX

Unfortunately, I lost my erection just as she was getting close to cum. This happens often to me when girls ask me to go ramp up the speed too quickly. I get physically tired which leads me to stop feeling as much and erection dies. What I didn't expect is how disappointed she was. Basically she assumed I had finished and didn't even give me a chance to get it up again, just kind of starting putting clothes on and got ready to leave.

I called out the disappointment and said that I understand but that it wasn't anything to do with her and that sometimes it just happens, no big deal. She didn't believe me but calmed down a little. I asked her to text me when she got home, which she did and then I think I salvaged the situation by saying that it's no big deal to me again and I had lots of fun.


KEYS TO THE LAY
  • Eye contact. From the start I focused on eye contact and she could really feel it. It's like a "i'm very comfortable with all the tests you've thrown at me and speaking to a hot girl is a common occurrence for me" Literally think this was the biggest reason it went well given that I wasn't very calibrated at other times.
  • Noticed she asked me where I live and wanting to skip the 2nd location part (she even seemed a little confused as to why I was suggesting a 2nd location) so changed plan and went back to mine straight away
  • Not losing frame when my uncalibrated actions did not get the right response and just go ahead as if nothing big has happened
  • Allow her to be part of the seduction
  • Focus on having fun and enjoying the date regardless of outcome

LESSONS/STICKING POINTS

-Calibrate sexual talk
-Calibrate the first kiss ( ironically I used to be so much better at this before, need to remind myself)
-Continue with strong eye contact
-Continue responding to situation rather than having a fixed plan/mindset
-Know your body and don't listen to going super fast if you know it will lead to loss of erection (and then hopefully get my health in order so I can get my physical stamina in order)
 

orkie123

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 21, 2023
Messages
165
You can't make this shit up.

I moved to the city I am 2 yrs ago. It has population of about 1.5m. Back then I becomr friends with a cool couple. The girl works in this shop in the centre.

I wrote in on my earlier threads how I went to that shop once with a girl and met a girl who now also works in this. I had gone on 2 dates but couldnt close due to LMR. She friendzoned me.

Today I randomly bumped into the girl from this LR and she had flaked on a 2nd meetup after accepting quite positively on a phone call anf then on text. But this was a week in advance as I was away from the city. She told me she flaked due to work. I realised i hadnt asked where she works?

That same focking shop. 3 girls i know. I died from laughter inside. Maybe its time i text the girl from friendzoned me 🤣🤣
 
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