Bringing the Energy and Being Interesting

[Troy]

Bringing the Energy and Being Interesting

Chase wrote an article stating that if you want to survive in a environment with big competition then you got to imitate what the other guys are doing to get results with their girls. I notice that the guys who do great with girls are the ones that have a wide range of interests, participate in some club or sports team, and they know how to make everyone laugh.
I do none of those things and it really bothers me that I don't know how to. I grew up not being exposed to much. My parents didn't allow me to listen to any other music but Gospel. I was told that sports are not necessary from young so I grew up like a bookworm. After school I came straight home, watched cartoon then did my homework and that was it. I grew up in a really mentally abusive home which affected me whenever I was in a social setting. I grew up shy and constantly depressed which I believe has shaped me into who I am today.


Being Totally Unplugged with " Cool Culture "


Believe me that when I say I'm totally unplugged with what's hot and what's not is the truth. I didn't know who Eminem was until two months ago. I didn't know who Beyonce or Drake was until January. And from research I have done they are popular RnB artists. Whenever I am in a conversation I can never add to it because I am totally naive on the subject.

What I've done to fix this: I've downloaded over 800 songs in two weeks and I've begun listeneing to them. I had a field trip two weeks ago. ON the bus everyone started to sing and I couldn't join in because all the songs were foreign to me.

Apart from not knowing popular music people my age listen to, I can't converse on:

Politics
Cars
Guns
Sports
Movies
Gossip e.t.c.

This is why maintaining friends is so damn hard. I can't communicate with them on what they can relate to. I've been reading articles on various topics but it feels like I'm studying for an exam. I need to be multi dimensional NOW! How do I learn just enough to carry on a conversation? Learningv everything down to the "T" is not practical when you think about it.


Experience Triumpts In the End

So how do I balance all this learning new stuff with socializing. I take a ridiculously long time to learn stuff compared to other people. I can't just read an article on how to play golf once or watch a football match and remember what just happened.

I have to sit down and think about the same thing over and over before getting it. If I'm already struggling with finding conversation topics then socializing will be a drag. Getting lost in a conversation about a Honda V631T car ( don't look that up; I made it up ) is the worst feeling. I just stand there while everyone talk about the car.

So my question is:

1) How do I know just the right details to memorize on a topic? Obviously I can't wait until I know everything about Honda (for example) before being able to have a interesting conversation.

2) How do I find whatever I learn to be interesting? I am learning all sorts of new stuff and I don't like it

3) I posted on my journal some stuff I learned on "Car Brands" that I don't think goes really well with what most guys come to the forum to learn. I learned some more on " Football andhow the game is played" but I don't want to put up all these posts on what I'm learning otherwise from seduction. So I'm asking, what are your thoughts on me writing journal posts on subjects that don't relate to seduction whatsoever? They relate more to becoming a interesting person who is multidimensional. The link to my journal https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=15&t=4586#p40764. I prefer keeping everything online. The last thing I want is my journal notebook to be found lying around the house or my computer files to go missing. What are your thoughts on all this?

Troy

 

[Smith]

1) How do I know just the right details to memorize on a topic? Obviously I can't wait until I know everything about Honda (for example) before being able to have a interesting conversation.

2) How do I find whatever I learn to be interesting? I am learning all sorts of new stuff and I don't like it

U don't need to know everything about Honda, Music...etc to have an interesting conversation with people. If you want to connect with women, you need to make her feel emotions, not exchanging facts. Only most guys would enjoy a conversation where they exchange facts, but not women. Have a read on "how to be a conversationalist" on GC. Be interested in other people rather than trying to impress other people with random facts and knowledge.

Learn things that are interesting to you! You can't possibly connect with everyone and make everyone happy, so make yourself happy.

 

[Troy]

If you want to connect with women, you need to make her feel emotions, not exchanging facts. Only most guys would enjoy a conversation where they exchange facts, but not women. Have a read on "how to be a conversationalist" on GC. Be interested in other people rather than trying to impress other people with random facts and knowledge.

Yes women are more interested in the way they feel instead of knowing a bunch of facts on stuff. My game is more open more and I'm looking at the whole picture. That means I'm not focusing on going out STRICTLY to meet girls. I will meet girls ( a lot too, and also to interact with other men as friends. I believe that having male friends and the respect of other men is vitally important in overall social success. As you said, most guys would enjoy exchanging facts.

What I'm saying is that when men are blabbing about how a football match went or which car is the best to drive in 2015 then it's extremely important that I have my facts straight. I can't just "Be interested in other men's talk without having anything to talk about that I really love." I've done that for years; just sitting back asking questions and having other men tell fascinating stories, joking around and bringing energy into the group. Do you believe that having passions and impressing people with what you know is a good thing at any point?

If I'm going to make jokes, share facts or an experience on "Car Brands" for example then knowing something on it is vitally important to sounding intelligent. Things that most men find interesting is things I don't care about which leaves me not adding ANY VALUE to a conversation. It makes me come off like a bore who has nothing going on in his life. My goal isn't to impress people with facts, but to be able to talk on a wide variety of topics, sharing jokes, and experiences. I'm doing all this so i can become more relatable to other people. Hardly any other male conterpart I know I have anything in common with. So getting interested in what most men appreciate and knowing about stuff will improve my life 10 fold. Do you agree? How do I get myself to like what others like?

Troy

 

[Smith]

If I'm going to make jokes, share facts or an experience on "Car Brands" for example then knowing something on it is vitally important to sounding intelligent. Things that most men find interesting is things I don't care about which leaves me not adding ANY VALUE to a conversation. It makes me come off like a bore who has nothing going on in his life. My goal isn't to impress people with facts, but to be able to talk on a wide variety of topics, sharing jokes, and experiences. I'm doing all this so i can become more relatable to other people. Hardly any other male conterpart I know I have anything in common with. So getting interested in what most men appreciate and knowing about stuff will improve my life 10 fold. Do you agree? How do I get myself to like what others like?

Then by all means, expose yourself to as much experience as possible, so you can share interesting stories of your own. This will take time and you will need to push your comfort zone. You've never done sky diving? go sky diving. Never gone skiing in the alps? Go do it. You don't have to be an expert on things you're not interested in, but just by exposing yourself to a variety of experience, you'll have more interesting stories. You don't even need to know a lot about cars to get a conversation going. I got my knowledge about cars just by listening to my friends blabbering on about their dream car.

Find your passion first and find out what you're interested in. When in a conversation, you try to find common interests with another person to connect with them.
Instead of getting yourself to like what others like. Why not find what you like?
Getting yourself to like what others like is like trying to wriggle your way into their party, and this is not bringing the energy.
If you want to bring the energy, you got to be passionate about the things you talk about.

 

[Troy]

Then by all means, expose yourself to as much experience as possible, so you can share interesting stories of your own. This will take time and you will need to push your comfort zone. You've never done sky diving? go sky diving. Never gone skiing in the alps? Go do it. You don't have to be an expert on things you're not interested in, but just by exposing yourself to a variety of experience, you'll have more interesting stories. You don't even need to know a lot about cars to get a conversation going. I got my knowledge about cars just by listening to my friends blabbering on about their dream car.

I sure will do that Smith!

Things that I've done in the past are cooking classes, 400 and 800m running, woodwork classes, technical drawing, horseback riding, and I went to a few parties. You're right! Find my passion and let it lead me and attract the people I want into my life. The most important thing you said that I'll take away from this is:

Instead of getting yourself to like what others like. Why not find what you like?

Thanks for sharing Smith!

Troy