Building discipline and delayed gratification for game / seduction

[Tank]

So after a couple coaching calls and discussions I actually am feeling a bit hopeful (I know it's a miracle) in that I have some understanding with some very methodical work and training I could significantly increase my closing percentages and get a 7 every month or so (obviously not 8s, I'm not fucking delusional).

The thing is my social intuition for seduction is pretty crap and, along with a disciplined cold approach regimen I know I need to do a lot of regular homework, listening to date and infield recordings and coming up with ways to orchestrate different techniques, conversational exercises to be able to transition things to emotional and sexual frames and themes, studying and memorising lines and routines and nlp etc etc etc

The problem is I don't have all the time in the world, and I'm a horny motherfucker so I find myself impulsively swiping on tinder and scheduling as many dates, predominantly with 6s, as possible. Obviously I know a decent amount will lay. The thing is even if we're talking 6s from tinder my time would be better spent delaying gratification to work on these to get a higher closing percentage to get a better ratio of time spent having sex versus time spent acquiring Sex, in the long run.

And I have plenty of other shit to do as well so reasonably speaking I should really not be scheduling more than one first date per week or so if I want to have time to do my homework and cold approach with adequate regularity. But obviously that stuff is kind of boring than the possibility of fucking so it becomes a very challenging exercise in willpower, discipline and delayed gratification with the short term pleasure versus short term unpleasantness.

Anyone have any suggestions? How do I get myself to truly limit things to one first date per week, keep swiping and chatting to very infrequent low levels, and do my damn skilled seducer's homework? Suggestions here would be much appreciated, thanks!

 

[Tr1cky]

First step is to delete all dating apps

 

[Tank]

Well in the long run I certainly wouldn't want to stop app game completely they do yield pretty good results for me. I just want a higher close rate from the dates from them and also do cold approach consistently to get 7s a bit more regularly. I just need to control my compulsion and significantly limit my swiping and the amount of girls I put on the funnel from it.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

@Tank Hey man I went through a similar problem myself, my solutions were:

1. Removing notifications so I don't get tempted to reply to a message or see a match

2. Only use the app on specific times e.g. Wednesday night to match with a load of girls then sunday night to message as the response rate was high

3. Eventually I just deleted the app. Tinder can easily become a crutch to cold approach & is made to be addictive/distracting.

It's a personal decision but I thought to myself this isn't the kind of guy I want to be so I deleted it November last year and never looked back.

Besides when you rack up a few day game lays it will rewire your brain to not want it anymore... That I can guarantee

Lastly after a while on Tinder you get to know which girls are worth your time or not just by their profile and initial responses.

Only pursue girls who are promising and quickly cut of ones who are not. I bet you're going for all leads to maximise your chances but you could probably cut some loose and do just as well if not better.

 

[Tank]

Thanks those are some good practical tips. I do have notifications off and try to schedule my tinder time so I avoid doing it too much, but sometimes I get compulsive about it. Naturally, as it is a source of sex so the pull of it is strong. I'm slowly getting better at it though.

I've decided for now to stop swiping, so no new leads, but I'll try to meet up with the ones I'm chatting with now. Indeed I should really improve my cold approach but also my game on dates, to get a higher lay rate from my tinder dates, and this means more focus on technique and technical game.

In the long run I do want to use both cold approach, mostly day game, and tinder. From my thoroughly researched understanding of what's possible for me, an ideal sex life to aim for would be: 25 approaches, all 7s, from daygame every week, and every two weeks get a first date from them. Every 6 weeks, so every 3 first dates, sleep with one.

But that's not quite enough sex for me, so I would also want a date from tinder, 6 or 7, every other week or so, and hopefully also lay at least one in three of those. That'd mean a new lay every 3 weeks, while only going on one first date per week. That seems like the best possible ratio of quantity and quality and sex, relative to time spent, that I can achieve, and I think it would be quite great. And it's a reasonable time investment. But in order to get those great close rates I really do need to take a step back and work on my technique a bit, and so for now slowly phase out tinder and focus more on doing my game homework and cold approach.

 

[DoWhatWorks]

No worries and that pull is natural. It does take a little time to adjust.

You've raised another good point actually, you can view apps or seduction in general as something you do in waves!

So you spend a few weeks hitting it hard than stop using it for a month as you go through your options before revisiting it if needed.

That alone has helped me balance it out.

It sounds like you just want consistency of sex... Have you ever thought about keeping a few FB's or MLTR's around?

That way you can have sex literally 1-2x a week, every week whether you're approaching new girls or not this then gives you even more freedom to put in the effort or not in seduction depending on what other priorities in life you have going on. It also gives you more outcome independence
which will help you get more attractive girls too so it's a win-win.

 

[Rakkum]

In addition to DoWhatWorks advice, which I would also recommend, you can set specific milestones for each day or week.
If you have met them, then you have earned x amount of time on the app. Setting time constraints on the app will make you more effective and less needy, imo.

 

[Tank]

Dowhatworks,
Yeah for one it would make sense to use the apps more during the colder months, when daygame is less realistic.

In general yes I do try to keep FBs and mltrs around. But this is also a bit of a difficult thing time management wise. And actually chase wrote an article about this that he doesn't do them anymore but basically the problem is the maintenance does take quite a bit of time. Also it can make one complacent and stop approaching and slide into an LTR with the best mltr. Now mono LTRs are fundamentally unsatisfying and something I have no intention of doing again but only ONSs is obviously not enough sex. Thus I think the right balance is to regularly do game, and with new lays keep them around but aim for just one or two but replace them every month or two. I'm still trying to work out the best system. Ultimately the whole point of game for me is maximum sex per time spent acquiring it, and finding the right balance is quite delicate.