building emotional connection - franco response?

[girlsfollow]

Update on long LR (viewtopic.php?f=5&p=24456#p24456)- had sex with her more than a month ago there were issues with building a connection and emotional closeness - finally set up date for tuesday. I got a response from franco in my LR suggesting I build more connection - how - and what would be best in this case? - just more deep diving? shes very "fun" though being serious feels boring...

I gave her the option of cooking at my place or going out to town - she took the going out to town option - but I think if I really wanted I could possibly switch that to her coming over for dinner - but might be less fun and since last time we just had sex and the connection was an issue I'm thinking this time I should do more stuff with her and build more of a connection, coming back to my place could prove a little problematic since its quite far out (althogh in the same direction as her so not that bad).

my place would probably be ideal according to the beginners chase logic? But I think there is less of a chance to lead - I can't take her in my arm and move her around large areas and new interesting places - there is plenty to talk about and a more relaxed setting for getting to know her. If we were at my place teh pressure is on really I feel? Also its been more than a month so its almost like a first date again.

At my place there is really a limited number of things to do apart from cook eat watch a film and -- the obvious. Watching a film isnt a "getting to know" activity...

I'd like to know what Franco/Chase would suggest (any guesses?)here as a more advanced situation where sex isnt the main aim since I've already done that!

 

[Chase]

GF-

I don't know all the backstory (haven't read the LR yet), but how good was the sex? In my experience, there's nothing that fosters a solid emotional connection quite like sweaty, screaming, hair-pulling, orgasmic sex.

Connections are not usually fostered by nights out on the town. Nights out on the town are distractions, and they're not typically want you want to be doing with a girl you're freshly seeing. If you must go out on the town though, I'd suggest picking a quiet, intimate lounge, where all the focus will be on each other, and you can really focus on getting one-on-one.

Then, after that bonding session, back to yours for more sweaty, screaming, hair-pulling, orgasmic sex

Chase

 

[girlsfollow]

GF-

I don't know all the backstory (haven't read the LR yet), but how good was the sex? In my experience, there's nothing that fosters a solid emotional connection quite like sweaty, screaming, hair-pulling, orgasmic sex.

Connections are not usually fostered by nights out on the town. Nights out on the town are distractions, and they're not typically want you want to be doing with a girl you're freshly seeing. If you must go out on the town though, I'd suggest picking a quiet, intimate lounge, where all the focus will be on each other, and you can really focus on getting one-on-one.

Then, after that bonding session, back to yours for more sweaty, screaming, hair-pulling, orgasmic sex

Chase

thanks chase for simplifying that for me. I know this is true - but last time my very efficient escalation to sex with not much buildup left things seeming a little "preplanned" and rushed main thing to change I think is more foreplay- the sex was good but not earth shattering. I made her squirt for her first time in her life as a plus but she wouldn't let me go down on her. It was with my hand though and then we had hard sex without a condom. It was a little rushed though I feel and not so intimate probably mainly due to us being quite drunk- not enough kissing maybe? At any rate she wasnt very lovey dovey afterwards and was a little playerish if you know what I mean? I suppose you might put this down to it not being hardcore enough - but I did really dominate her etc I wanted to do it again but she didnt want to stay over she was quite keen to leave cause she is seeing her bf again after a split and felt guilty and confused...I needed to give her more of a talk on this probably? But other than that can you see why I therefore wanted to do something other than sex - last time we didnt really get to know each other and get close it was a little rushed



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I think I can start to see a pattern here- at this higher intermediate level getting sex from hot "yes+" girls isn't the main issue, even ones that are not single which most of them aren't - its having regular sex with them and gradually building more.