Was in the Mexico City airport on a long layover…
Approached a chilean girl sitting by herself, on an equally long layover. We were getting along well, there was a little bit of attraction between us. So I moved things into a sexual direction.
Topic flow for the sexual verbals was how guys interpret attraction signals from girls > flirt cultures [sexual tension vs connection] > the mirror [pacing phase + a tiny bit of the leading phase]. This flow generated quite a bit of sexual tension between us. She mentioned during flirt cultures that sexual tension as a way of flirting does not feel genuine to her.
Although she actively participated in the convo during these topics, she was mostly resisting the tension. She wasn’t holding as much eye contact as before and was very fidgety, ie picking and scratching at her boots and fingernails. She seemed uncomfortable.
Looking back, I’m thinking about how I could have verbally handled her reaction to this sexual tension a little better. I really shouldn’t have let her steep in this uncertain tension so long. As soon as I saw it happening, I should have addressed it then. To show my awareness of what was going on and take some pressure off.
One way to address it would be to bring up some indirect speak of how guys can know girls are ready for taking a next step with them ie. she needs to feel comfortable expressing her sexuality, and there needs to be an understanding of what they both want. Then I could de-escalate to supportive topics and eventually, amp things up again to talk about what we want from each other.
Approached a chilean girl sitting by herself, on an equally long layover. We were getting along well, there was a little bit of attraction between us. So I moved things into a sexual direction.
Topic flow for the sexual verbals was how guys interpret attraction signals from girls > flirt cultures [sexual tension vs connection] > the mirror [pacing phase + a tiny bit of the leading phase]. This flow generated quite a bit of sexual tension between us. She mentioned during flirt cultures that sexual tension as a way of flirting does not feel genuine to her.
Although she actively participated in the convo during these topics, she was mostly resisting the tension. She wasn’t holding as much eye contact as before and was very fidgety, ie picking and scratching at her boots and fingernails. She seemed uncomfortable.
Looking back, I’m thinking about how I could have verbally handled her reaction to this sexual tension a little better. I really shouldn’t have let her steep in this uncertain tension so long. As soon as I saw it happening, I should have addressed it then. To show my awareness of what was going on and take some pressure off.
One way to address it would be to bring up some indirect speak of how guys can know girls are ready for taking a next step with them ie. she needs to feel comfortable expressing her sexuality, and there needs to be an understanding of what they both want. Then I could de-escalate to supportive topics and eventually, amp things up again to talk about what we want from each other.