Can dating women be of a bad invluence to your life?

[svenas]

I started dating for real at the start of this year. And because of this site I had some succes and even had 2 small relationships.

The last girl I been with actually broke up with me 2 nights ago. And she now tells me I should stop dating girls and focus on fixing other things in my life first. She also tells me I should see a therapist, which I already made an appointment with. (this girl used to have a borderline personality and been in therapy for about 10 years)

My problems are:
1. I can seem to find a full time job that fits my intelligence and study.
2. I don't have any friends. And I really have trouble keeping social contacts.
3. I still live with my dad. And I don't see the need to move out.

So my problem is kind of that I have the lifestyle of an 18 year old when I am really 29

And because of this emptyness I started dating girls. And the girl I broke up with now tells me I should just stop dating girls because it will break me down again and again because I have nothing else to fall back on.

So I am wondering is there actually a situation possible where you should just take a break from dating girls? Because most of the articles on this site are just about "you lose a girl, get a new one!"

 

[Thedoctor]

svenas,

So I am wondering is there actually a situation possible where you should just take a break from dating girls? Because most of the articles on this site are just about "you lose a girl, get a new one!"

It seems like your life needs some direction and you are using girls as an escape. I've met some people that sit around waiting for the perfect person to come into their lives and change it for them. This will never happen. You are the only one that can change it. I'd recommend reading the following articles:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/she-m ... ur-mission

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-o ... depression

To answer your question, I don't think you should take a break from dating, but I think you need to focus attention in other areas of your life too. Stop procrastinating and achieve the goals you set out for yourself.

-John

 

[Estate]

I started dating for real at the start of this year. And because of this site I had some succes and even had 2 small relationships.

The last girl I been with actually broke up with me 2 nights ago. And she now tells me I should stop dating girls and focus on fixing other things in my life first. She also tells me I should see a therapist, which I already made an appointment with. (this girl used to have a borderline personality and been in therapy for about 10 years)

My problems are:
1. I can seem to find a full time job that fits my intelligence and study.
2. I don't have any friends. And I really have trouble keeping social contacts.
3. I still live with my dad. And I don't see the need to move out.

So my problem is kind of that I have the lifestyle of an 18 year old when I am really 29

And because of this emptyness I started dating girls. And the girl I broke up with now tells me I should just stop dating girls because it will break me down again and again because I have nothing else to fall back on.

So I am wondering is there actually a situation possible where you should just take a break from dating girls? Because most of the articles on this site are just about "you lose a girl, get a new one!"

It's very difficult to comment on you personally since I dont know you enough but I can comment on a few things very prevailant in the PUA community.

A lot of guys DO need to sort out their shit and are looking in all the wrong places. They just need to get their life and act together and do the regular stuff they need to do to grow up and learn to be a man. However, they just give up on everything and seem to think having a girlfriend and having power over women is what they need.

Now you'll need to figure out for yourself how you stand there... sometimes it MIGHT be a good idea to focus less on women for a while and focus on other things like career, hobbies, interests, friends, family, etc. Having an alround good lifestyle actually lowers the amount of game you need to run and makes you happier.

The counter-argument is this:
If you date girls who have issues themselves. This is bad. Just get out. My very first GF years ago had many many mental issues. She covered them up well in the beginning but as her behaviour became more and more weird and erratic it all came to light. Now, some people have problems, they get help and they move on with their life. Some people just wallow. This girl was a wallower. She refused to accept she had problems and needed help. What she would do though, is project things wrong with herself on to others... so this sounds a little like what you're experiencing here too. If the girl has been in therapy for 10 years... clearly nothing has changed. She has gone for years, wallowed in whatever was wrong and never resolved to get it fixed. However, she insists the problems are YOUR fault and that YOU are the one needing therapy. It's unhealthy... my advice for this girl is ... RUN AWAY. As for dating other women, well reflect a little on my first paragraph, only you know if it's good to take a little break or if maybe you were just seeing the wrong woman here.

 

[svenas]

Thanks Estate and John,

Those answers are very helpfull. I think I let this girl and dating new woman be my mission too much and it has been kind of an escape from dealing with other things in my life.

The problem is I have this website, so I know exactly how to improve myself when I start dating girl. So I have a complete blueprint right here of how to improve myself in this field.

As for other problems in my life (mainly finding a job that fits me). I don't have a complete blueprint (website) for what to do. So I often find myself lost for what to do next.
Yes i know there are articles here about how to be succesfull in life and other articles too. But they are not as IN DEPTH as the advice I get here on dating girls. Also they are mainly focussed on starting your own business. While finding a job with boss is more what I am looking for.

What would really help me out is a website or other resource that will help me as much on other fields in my life like this site has been on me for dating girls. With easy to understand steps and in depth information.

 

[robertnyc]

Svenas:

The things you listed as problems are only problems if you agree that they are. I can't say if they are or are not but do not let a girl tell you that you need to change things if you don't want to. If you are close with your Dad and like living with him then keep living there. Girls will accept almost anything if they like a guy. I lived at home until my late 20's and was close with my parents and didn't want to move out before then. Did girls I dated complain about it? Yes but once I made it clear I didn't care about their opinions it never stopped them from inviting me over to their place for sex or wanting to go on vacations for lots of alone time. It never ends there though. Girls will nag you to marry them, get a different job, take a more stable career path, settle down, etc. You just have to learn to follow what you want regardless of what other people want you to do.

Hell Charles Manson just got married to a hottie even though he is in prison and really old. So your living situation and job situation will not keep you from hooking up with girls. If you let girls tell you what is a problem it never stops. So you get your own apartment and then its not big enough, or you get a job and you don't make enough money, etc., etc.

If however these are areas of your life that you feel you want to work on then do the best you can to come up with a plan and work the plan. It may not be perfect but you will start to feel more positive once you begin to take steps in the right direction. Give yourself a time limit for research and then say that you will try different things and see if you like them. But don't stop approaching girls if you want to while you work the plan.