Can I sway this girl into wanting something more serious?

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

First post. Sorry if it's a long one.

So there's this girl from my work (don't worry, she's leaving in a few months) that I had been crushing on for a year. We clicked as soon as we met, and I mean really clicked, and we were both clearly attracted to each other. But we never acted on it because she was in a long term relationship. Anyway, her and her boyfriend broke up, and about a month later I made my move. I took her out and we hooked up, but she initially told me that she didn't want anything serious yet for obvious reasons.

We have been seeing each other for a few weeks now and the sex is incredible. We are keeping our relationship secret at the moment because we don't want people at work to find out, especially the owners/management. (this only makes it hotter!)

A few nights ago she again said that she doesn't want to get too involved. I want to make it clear that I have never brought this up with her, it's always her. I think aside from the fact that she just got out of a relationship, she's scared of getting hurt again, and she's concerned that if things don't work out, then we will have to see each other at work. (though not for long)
So I responded by telling her that she's thinking too much, and that we should just keep seeing each other and see where this goes, and she agreed.

This feels like more than just a casual relationship.Despite her words, each time I see her she's more and more comfortable and affectionate, and things have never been hotter between us. It's not just sex though. We also hang out a lot, and do things that couples do. She even suggested to a couple of mutual friends of ours that we all spend a weekend away together.

A bit of background around her breakup - she was dating a guy for 3 and half years, and he dumped her via a text telling her he doesn't love her any more. The ex is definitely out of the picture in this case. He's not chasing her, and she's not chasing him.
I understand that I may just be on the rebound, but I have been the rebound guy before in another relationship and it was completely different to this. The ex was chasing, the passion was nowhere near around this level, and it just all around sucked.

Anyway, I'd just like an outside opinion on whether or not I could eventually get more serious with this girl, and if so, would like some advice on how to not fuck it up.
She's one of the coolest girls I've ever met and could see myself dating her in the longer term.

 

[Franco]

jbonna,

It sounds to me like you're already doing exactly what you need to be doing. As long as she continues seeing you and you're extremely laid back (by not pushing for anything serious), she'll naturally gravitate towards your appeal and begin to move things forward as it seems like she already might be given her references to doing group activities together.

I think you just need to continue to play it cool and let her be the one to bring up the idea of a relationship. Don't do anything to push it in this direction because that is usually what pushes girls away. Let her come to you naturally. Keep seeing her as often as you have been and keep giving her great sex and conversation. Eventually, when the time is right for her, she'll bring it up to you. Keep in mind that this usually takes a few months of seeing a girl before she starts to push for something like this, so be patient.

- Franco