Can someone tell me your differences in experience with women as a lover who used to be a provider?

DaVinciMatrixStyle

Space Monkey
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What are some signs that girls see you as a lover but not a provider?

How do they treat you in private versus public (in front of friends or other people)?
 

uriel

Cro-Magnon Man
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Teasing you, accepting sexual frames, call you “scoundrel” or “hotshot”, making future projections about adventures with you (instead of traditional dates), ask you about your sexual exploits…

Basically, if a girl is showing you her sexual side (or even suggesting) that means she sees you as a lover.
For providers, she will usually hide it and tend to act like a prude in order to take it slow.
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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What are some signs that girls see you as a lover but not a provider?

How do they treat you in private versus public (in front of friends or other people)?
*Note: Be careful with big teases. Some girls understand this dynamic and flirt with every guy they know to have him on hold.

That line is very grey and is getting grey.

Uriel warned about big teases. To reinforce this point, a girl
-who has a history with you
-a girl who is intrigued by you
-a girl who is a tease

They all react and response, kinda same. It is a similar thing to Faith. Faith and Feel are the same. But they are 2 completely different things.

TLDR:
You asking something that has not yet solved in a way where everyone understand it easily.

Hopefully, you guys will be the first few to learn this distinction, in pickup/dating where i am able to convey it in a way where it is so simple., thru my sketches.

 

DaVinciMatrixStyle

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Oct 26, 2020
Messages
117
That line is very grey and is getting grey.

Uriel warned about big teases. To reinforce this point, a girl
-who has a history with you
-a girl who is intrigued by you
-a girl who is a tease

They all react and response, kinda same. It is a similar thing to Faith. Faith and Feel are the same. But they are 2 completely different things.

TLDR:
You asking something that has not yet solved in a way where everyone understand it easily.

Hopefully, you guys will be the first few to learn this distinction, in pickup/dating where i am able to convey it in a way where it is so simple., thru my sketches.


I'm sorry I have no idea what you mean by this.
 

ZacAdam

Cro-Magnon Man
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Nov 20, 2012
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6,135
Basically,

How she response to you. The signs per se, in my opinion, is similar to that of a girl friend, girlfriend, and so on.

z@c+

Added, Culturally this has become a problem because sarcasm as an example, is harder to differentiate.


:)
 

StrayDog

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Feb 23, 2022
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What are some signs that girls see you as a lover but not a provider?

How do they treat you in private versus public (in front of friends or other people)?
Lover
-first and foremost, she will never truly see you as her lover until you have already been inside her
-quick to bed
-texts are full of innuendo and are mostly just to set up the next round of horizontal tango
-Very casual about your connection in social settings
-Conversations (though sometimes have depth) are generally fun and playful and never get too very personal

Boyfriend material
-Slower to physicality while still showing signs of interest (this one is complex though as sometimes she sees you as a lover but doesn't trust you as one yet, and also there are sometimes teases just looking for orbiters)
-Wants to have more extended, dynamic, personal dates with you
-Conversations are more personal and deep
-you two are making plans for the future together (taking roadtrips, cooking classes, and so on)
-she wants to meet your friends
-she wants you to meet her friends
-she wants you to meet her family

The thing with all of these is that it is more of a spectrum than just black and white. Many of these elements can overlap between lover/boyfriend. Plus it is a spectrum that is dynamic and living and subject to change depend on context. Each of the points I listed can mean something very different depending on context. This is why navigating these requires a bit of intuition and also a kind of triangulation using all the contextual information you are aware of.

I think the key to simplifying it all is realizing that how she views you is based largely on how you frame yourself and operate. As long as she accepts the frame you set, and is following your lead on how the relationship operates, you can trust that. If you frame yourself as a lover (through word and deed) and she goes with it, then you can feel fairly sound she views you as such. If she is not accepting the frame then it is an indication she feels otherwise. Some questions one might ask oneself in regards to this could be

-How do I frame myself in the manner in which I wish to relate, and how do I lead the connection in that direction?
-Has she accepted said frame, and followed my lead, or not? What can this mean about my framing and leading? Are there ways I can adjust in order to mutually create the type of relationship I desire?
-As a lover or boyfriend how do I expect to be treated both publicly and privately? Does she respect this or not?

A version of this question that goes a bit deeper is not "does she view me as a lover or provider?", but instead "what quality of lover or boyfriend does she view me as?" The answer to this can often be found, again, in how she accepts your lead, relates to your frames, your body, your presence, your boundaries, your passions, your goals and so on. The truth is we can never know entirely, exactly what we mean to another person. What is important is how we operate and function with them. That is the truth of what the relationship is. And it is a truth that is malleable and dynamic. Something that, even when there is history, is taken one moment at a time. Be the man who in that moment she wants nothing more or nothing less than to fuck her brains out, and you can be certain you are her lover.
 
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