Can you only truly learn about relationships, by having relationships

[Humay]

I'm at that time now where i'm thinking whether to stop playing around and commit to a girl. A little to do with it being valentine's day last week and i became curious about relationships. But mainly because, in the future, i want to minimise the mistakes which may cost me my relationship or marriage over time. Better to correct my interest-lowering behaviours now, than later.

BUT, i would prefer to stick with sexual, short-term/casual relationships for the time being. Only when i find a girl I really like through chance, would i want to commit.

So, my question is, can i learn everything i need to know about committed, long-term relationships with casual, short-term relationships alone? Committed relationships just seem like long-term dating to me anyway.

Or can some things only be experienced, realised or learned through committed relationships?

 

[Franco]

Humay,

So, my question is, can i learn everything i need to know about committed, long-term relationships with casual, short-term relationships alone? Committed relationships just seem like long-term dating to me anyway.

There's a lot of similarities between a casual relationship and a long-term one in terms of what you'll be doing with your girl, but there are also several big differences. For example, you may not really need to know how to deal with drama when you're in a casual relationship since you're in the "light" and "fun" stage where the girl is just enjoying being with you. But once you've entered a committed relationship (or you begin to approach the point where she wants it to become a committed relationship), then you're going to need to learn how to deal with drama.

Being able to properly deal with drama is probably one of the most difficult parts of a long-term relationship, and the less knowledge you have about what it is, where it comes from, and how to deal with it, the more problems you're going to encounter after entering the relationship. Now that's not to say you can't enter a long-term relationship and have it be successful without understanding or experiencing what it's like, but just like anything else in seduction, the less experience you have, the more likely you are to mess it up when it happens.

Luckily, Chase DOES provide answers on how to deal with relationship drama in several articles, and here is a good one below. At the bottom of the article, Chase also links you to a comment I made a couple years ago about differentiating how handling angry women in casual relationships differs from handling angry women in committed relationships. You can check that out here:

• Fighting in a Relationship: Causes and Cures

There are also a few other good articles having to deal with drama here:

• Women and Drama
  Relationship Control and Female Domination

The final thing to consider with long-term relationships is that they must always be moving forward. In a casual relationship, things pretty much remain the same and you can continue to be repetitive in your actions until you decide to either enter a committed relationship or move on to the next girl. This is not the case in a long-term relationship. In a LTR, the girl needs to feel like progress is always being made toward having a family, and if she feels like things are getting stagnant after months and months of repetitiveness, then she'll either cause drama or begin to look for other options in men.

Chase has a great article on self-expansion and growth in relationships here:

• Self-Expansion and Growth in Relationships

Hope that helps!

- Franco

 

[Humay]

Excellent reply. Just what i needed to know.

 

[Franco]

Humay,

There's a good article posted today by Alek Rolstad which dives even deeper into the topic you mentioned above. I suggest you give it a read:

• Should I Make Her My Girlfriend?

Cheers,

Franco