Can you sleep with a hookup partner TOO much??

[Jack123Frost]

Hey fellas,

So this past week, I have started sleeping with a new girl (first had sex on the second date). She's pretty cute and nice and all that. But anyway, we slept together on Friday night, then I stayed over at her place on Saturday, and now on Sunday she's starting to text me, asking what I'm doing and saying she's bored.

I have no problem sleeping with this girl, because the sex is great. I went on another date tonight and the gal told me flat out that she wasn't going to sleep with me on the first date. But in the first part of a casual relationship with girl #1, does the frequency at which you hookup set any type of precedents? Am I spending too much time with her in the beginning of this casual relationship? Thanks for the advice,

-J

 

[Ambiance]

Seeing a girl too often can hurt you in a lot of ways. If you're not that serious about her, it gives her the wrong expectations, which either leads to hurt feelings and drama or you stuck in a relationship with a girl you're not crazy about.

Even if you are serious about her, starting things slow is highly advised. Read this for the best explanation on the internet: https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-start-relationship-new-girlfriend

 

[Franco]

Jack123Frost,

But in the first part of a casual relationship with girl #1, does the frequency at which you hookup set any type of precedents?

Absolutely. For any type of relationship you want to have with a girl, it almost never hurts to start out slow. You can easily upgrade from a "slow/less attached" relationship status to a more serious one, but you can never go from a more serious one to a less-attached one.

If you want to keep things casual and don't want her to become a girlfriend, you must see her only once every 7+ days from the day you two initially saw each other last. So in your example above, you shouldn't see her again until at least this coming Friday. As a caveat, if you want to keep things at "fuck buddy" level, she also shouldn't ever sleep over at your place. But if you're wanting to be "intimate" with her and share a deeper connection, then sleeping at your place is okay.

The fact that she's texting you and wanting to see you is an indication that you've probably already tripped the "I like you more than fuck buddies" wire, so she may reject any type of fuck buddy role. But that's fine as long as (1) you're okay with becoming more intimate with her and (2) you don't see her too frequently (by being warm, but "busy" when she asks to see you sooner than every 7 days).

- Franco