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Candy vs Dinner

Rakehell

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Flirting, kino, conversation, etc, all help in the moment but don’t do much in terms of solidifying the kinds of relationships that you want.

You will remember these tactics because it is you deliberately doing them to get something that you want. But for her they will just feel good in the moment and become forgotten if not translated into a long standing impression or memory of you (taking her out, having her do things with you outside of that).

Think of it like eating a snack or candy versus a meal at a restaurant. You may not be able to remember a snack you ate last monday, but if you went to a restaurant you can vividly remember what you ordered.

Feeding her candy in the beginning may cause her to idealize the situation and fantasize in the same way as you. Because these actions have the potential to lead somewhere.

But if it does not lead anywhere (something that you have to proactively do), she will forget all the candy you are feeding her within time because she will stop associating it with it leading to something.

Some girls you can feed candy and they will have oneitis in the same way as you for an extended period of time, but this goes away when they are fed a meal by someone else.

Being in a seducers mindset (deploying tactics to overcome obstacles), causes us to remember and put more emphasis on small actions.

But these actions are not remembered as strongly, if at all, by the ones we use these tactics on. The feelings they get from your tactics have to be solidified by events (i.e asking them out, getting their number, taking them out, sleeping with them).
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

Rakehell

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
776
Being in a seducers mindset (deploying tactics to overcome obstacles), causes us to remember and put more emphasis on small actions.

But these actions are not remembered as strongly, if at all, by the ones we use these tactics on. The feelings they get from your tactics have to be solidified by events (i.e asking them out, getting their number, taking them out, sleeping with them).
Employing the right tactics (game), is meant to overcome obstacles (your seduction of her).

Being good at employing tactics is not the point of seduction. What matters more is knowing what tactics to deploy, and when you’ve deployed them well enough to overcome your obstacle (your game sense and what’s stopping you from getting what you want in the moment).

Overall your focus should be on what you want in the moment, which should be pretty easily defined and based on practical reality, what’s her resistance to that is, and the tactics you need to overcome that resistance.

And not on the tactics themselves, which should be viewed as means to an end (what you do to get what you want out of any given situation).
 

TwoNameGame

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Aug 12, 2024
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183
Being good at employing tactics is not the point of seduction. What matters more is knowing what tactics to deploy, and when you’ve deployed them well enough to overcome your obstacle (your game sense and what’s stopping you from getting what you want in the moment).
This is realization helped me immensely. As a rookie, I used to overgame not knowing that was bad. Then, I thought I was messing up my first relationship because I forwent certain tactics and just built genuine trust in the moment (albeit as a boyfriend, not a lover). She was willing to stay with me despite having so much on her plate.
 
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