Cashier hasnʼt viewed WhatsApp greet; what when I see her next?

[ThePhoenix]

Iʼm right now in a Central American town of 14,000, been here a few months, as a foreigner. First attempt to pick  up a girl here got her home but I  hit a time constraint before escalating. My second attempt was a  few days ago, on a cute Mayan girl who works cash at a supermarket I  shop regularly. I  really need to up the volume a  lot, but between deeply entrenched approach inhibition and the low population here, itʼs been really tough. I  plan to move to a city in East Africa soon, which should help overcome the inhibition, but here I  am in the meantime.

I  didnʼt actually just meet this girl per‑se. Iʼve gone to that store for several months and sheʼs worked there the  whole time. Iʼd been intending to hit  on her for quite some time but always chickened. In  fact, I  typically tried  to avoid her, to minimize innocent contact. I  did chat with her on one occasion a month back, and she was friendly, but I  didnʼt explicitly IOI her nor take it anywhere. There are several other cute chicks who work in that store also, and over the past month or  so, I  half-ways hit  on two others, but also without trying to close.

The other day, she was by herself, and I  had gotten a girl home recently, so finally I  got brave enough.

me: Hey.

her: [responds in kind]

[Iʼm putting stuff for her to cash]

me: Tienes ojos bonita. [You have pretty eyes.]

She was at this point totally in auto-pilot. She looked at me like Iʼm not sure the words even registered. I  repeated myself.

her: [Here she is a  bit quiet/bashful] Gracias. [Thank  you.]

her: Youʼre learning Spanish?

me: Actually, I  learned it in high school, but it was a while back, and it wasnʼt a place where people speak it, so I  forgot a  lot  of  it.

her: [Speaking in a general sense] Yeah, you have to practice it.

me: Yeah. Well, when I  was in [another Latin American country], la mejoria de la gente no hablan Ingles nada [the  majority of people didnʼt speak English at  all], so it was easier to practice. Here, everyone knows English anyway, so you get lazy.

her: [Expresses understanding]

me: ¿Tú es una estudiante? [Are  you a student?]

her: No.

me: Oh, so youʼre done with school?

her: Yes.

me: So, what made you want to work in [this  store]?

her: Itʼs a good place to work, [bla  bla].

me: If you could be anything, what would you be?

her: [States a type of financial career which must be hard to get in a country of such small population]

me: Oh, thatʼs what you studied in school? [Partly,  I  was age  testing.]

her: Yes.

[I  become aware of a next customer coming to the lane]

me: Ah ok. Well, I  have to go get something to eat, but we should chat more some time. [I  pass  her my phone with a new contact  sheet] Maybe grab a coffee or something.

She filled in her name and number and passed me back the phone as she turned her attention to the next customer. Itʼs a good thing she put her name, as I  had not even asked, nor introduced myself; I  normally would have, but she had somewhat derailed my routine.

I  failed to do some of the things I  would typically try to do, such as compliance testing or taking her hand, etc. We were also in facemasks, ugh. However, she still seemed agreeable. Seems a  bit quiet by nature, though not unfriendly.

WhatsApp is quite common here. The girlʼs number came  up, but does not show a profile picture. Itʼs possible to set the picture to show to only your contacts, or even to nobody. I  hadnʼt realized until later, but actually my picture is set to not show.

About an hour and a half after meeting, now into night, I  sent the girl this via WhatsApp:

¡Hola Arabela! Itʼs Phoenix.. fue agradable conocerte. Save my  #
[Hello Arabela! Itʼs Phoenix.. it was nice meeting you. Save my  #]

My WhatsApp is on a number from my home country which is presently on hold (if  she tries to use  it outside of WhatsApp, it wonʼt  work).

The status soon went to two grey ticks, which means it was sent to the phone but not necessarily viewed. Normally, when the recipient actually opens the message, the ticks turn blue, although itʼs possible to see a portion of the message without opening  it. The ticks never turned blue, now several days later. (It  is  possible she has disabled read notifications, but most  donʼt.)

There is some possibility she doesnʼt even use WhatsApp and the message went to someone who had her phone number in past. If  I  had no way to see her again in person, I  might have thought to try SMS instead, from my local number; but then I  might seem a  bit pressed if she actually did get the WhatsApp and just didnʼt answer.

That “Save my #” text technically doesnʼt even suggest that the girl should respond, although in my experience, girls usually do respond, unless itʼs just a totally dead contact.

I  figure that since I  can quite easily run into the chick in person again, thatʼs probably the best way to see whatʼs  up.

Only, Iʼm trying to figure out what to say to seem cool, not desperate or pushy. Iʼm afraid that asking if she got the message would come across as try‑hard and also draw attention to her non‑compliance.

Any ideas?

 

[Alpha13SC]

I would let her 1-2days and text her something creative based on your discussion like "hei, saw this financial/job related/meme about country from where she is/etc and I thought about you. How are you?"

Be creative.

Also, if this doesn t work, going to the store again would be a little awkward. Do it for the fun.

 

[ThePhoenix]

... text her something creative based on your discussion like "hei, saw this financial/job related/meme about country from where she is/etc and I thought about you. How are you?"

Thanks for the suggestion. In some cases in  past Iʼve been able to make some really clever “reminded  me of  you” type messages that worked well. But thatʼs luck  of the draw. In  this  case our conversation was brief and didnʼt touch  on any subjects that created opportunities like  that.

Nevertheless, I  enabled my profile pic and then sent a second message, relating having seen something in suggested videos which tied  into her career choice, “and  it made  me think  of you. How  are  you?”

In retrospect it seems a bit pedestrian. Maybe I  should have tried to be more clever and playful.

There was no answer, though this time it  did at  some  point get the blue ticks indicating the message was opened.

I  have to guess sheʼs not interested. I  could  have done a better job in hitting  on her. And I  suspect the occasions over the past several months in which I  cashed  out with  her without really saying anything to her, probably didnʼt help. Wouldʼve been better  off to hit  on her when we were totally unfamiliar. I  wish I  hadnʼt have chickened  out that first  time.

Well, thereʼs some chance itʼs not disinterest. For instance, I  didnʼt actually mention WhatsApp and people sometimes have WhatsApp on a different number (in  fact, Iʼm one  of  them), so thereʼs a chance I  was messaging some random stranger.

I  still havenʼt gone into the store again, but itʼs the best place to get certain things, so Iʼm gonna have  to at some point,  lol.

Iʼm not sure what to do when I  see her. Just go back to not saying anything? Especially since Iʼm not even 100%  sure it was her I  was messaging, Iʼd rather take a craps  shot on trying  to turn  it around, though Iʼm not  really sure how.

Being playful with her is also made harder by these God damned masks. A  hint  of a smile could mean the difference between a cool, playful tease and  seeming butthurt. Well, the officials here recently rescinded all the pandemic laws, so technically I  could try  to march  in without one, but they left it up  to the discretion of individual businesses, which can still elect to require masks on their premises. Iʼm  told they canʼt  do  shit, but Iʼm a guest in this country and canʼt afford trouble.

I  canʼt wait to be in Kampala, where I  wouldnʼt even be writing a post over  one damn chick. But in  the meantime, any ideas for when I  see  her next?

 

[mist]

I mostly just ignore women like this nowadays. Occasionally say hi.

Planning to change my approach soon though.

But it depends on the timeframe and your energy.

Do what you want imo. She has shown it doesn't matter if you already didn't accept that.

Maybe aim to avoid this scenario as teevster and other SNL, SDL, ONS guys do by pushing the interaction more and more forward.

 

[ThePhoenix]

Do what you want imo. She has shown it doesn't matter if you already didn't accept that.

Haha, yeah!

Eventually I  went back, and when I  saw her, I  asked her in Spanish if she has WhatsApp. I  wasnʼt totally smooth, but oh  well. She just looked  at me a  few moments, and then said in English that she doesnʼt really use  it. I  wasnʼt sure, but I  somewhat took her body  language to  say that she was trying to avoid connecting.

That evening I  sent her an SMS lightly teasing her by remarking she must  be the first person Iʼve met in this country who doesnʼt use WhatsApp, and closing by asking in Spanish something like, “howʼs  it  going?”

I  debated whether to send that from a local number, but decided to use an American burner number. Iʼve had another chick here answer messages from that same area  code. This one didnʼt answer, which didnʼt really surprise  me.

A little under a week later I  cashed  out via her, and neither of us said anything beyond the usual auto-pilot. Her demeanor wasnʼt out  of the ordinary, neither friendly nor unfriendly.

Maybe next time I  see her, just for the hell of it, Iʼll lightly tease her for being shy. I  donʼt expect it to work, but I  also donʼt expect her to get  mad, so what  the  hell, nothing  to  lose.

Maybe aim to avoid this scenario as teevster and other SNL, SDL, ONS guys do by pushing the interaction more and more forward.

I  like the idea of a SDL. Unfortunately Iʼve never been quite bold  enough to try  it. (Have  done ONS, though.) I  really need  to up  my approach volume massively, which would enable  me to experiment  with more  bold approaches. Unfortunately, approach  inhibition has  been and continues  to be my  downfall.

Well, my present location has given me some very useful insights, but now in order to kick the inhibition I need to get back to at the very least somewhere with a population counted in millions, LOL.

 

[pazloves]

My two cents: hitting on cashiers, shop clerks, and customer service personnel is lazy and bad for your dating health.

 

[ThePhoenix]

My two cents: hitting on cashiers, shop clerks, and customer service personnel is lazy and bad for your dating health.

I  appreciate the feedback. I  both agree and disagree.

To be clear, most of my approaches have been on customers of stores, not the employees.

I  wholeheartedly agree that if youʼre only hitting  on employees, thatʼs a very  big  problem:

1. Youʼre not being bold enough. One of the most attractive things to women is boldness, and there are few things more bold than to hit  on some random chick dead-sober in the daytime who wasnʼt expecting you to even say “hi,” let alone hit  on her. If youʼre only hitting on employees, youʼre not pushing that envelope and developing real boldness.
   
   
2. Youʼre not hitting  on nearly enough chicks. Most  of the opportunities around  you wonʼt  be store employees.

(That last statement is unfortunately not quite true in this little town Iʼm hanging  out in. Itʼs frustrating when you walk into a store and literally the only chick in the store is the cashier! Well, not always, but from back  home I  am used to big stores with several  dozen chicks in the store at  any  given  moment.)


Having said the above, I  have to disagree that you should never hit  on employees:

1. It can be a good warm-up. And if youʼre extremely shy, it at least gets you started and helps to build confidence. Most  of the women I  hit  on now are randoms, but when I  was starting  out, I  was too shy for that. If I  had have followed the strict, systematic rule to never hit  on store employees, Iʼd  still  be a  virgin. Because Iʼd never have built  up the confidence to hit  on anything.
   
   
2. Itʼs not futile. In  theory it should be much harder, but that does not bear  out in my actual data. Store employees make up only some 14% of the girls Iʼve hit  on in day  game, and yet they make  up about 25% of the dates Iʼve gotten from day  game. Now, I  highly doubt this means youʼre actually more likely to pull an employee vs. a random — Iʼm  sure this is simply due  to my fairly low sample  size and accuracy. But  it does strongly suggest that your chances of pulling an employee arenʼt substantially worse. So,  if  sheʼs cute, why  not?!?
   
   
3. You could miss  out on your exact type. I  fucking adore those tall, coffee-black, cherub-faced South  Sudanese chicks. But  guess  what? Theyʼre so fucking rare where I  live, that Iʼve only run  into one on one singular occasion. She happened to be a cashier. If I  had a strict rule to never hit  on cashiers, Iʼd have never hit  on a Nilotic chick, ever. Didnʼt quite pull that  one — did  get genuine IOIs though, — but that was mostly down  to limited experience. But the interaction nevertheless helped increase my abundance mentality, and I  made my first clean seduction not  long after. Iʼll still have  to move closer to South  Sudan (doing  that before the  year is  out), but my point is that not  even  hitting  on her would  have been  a  mistake.

In my experience, what makes a far greater difference than whether sheʼs an employee is whether sheʼs familiar. Thinking  back to any time I  did hit  on an employee, the only times it had a good outcome was when sheʼd never seen  me before or maybe only once before. Thatʼs what I  figure most likely went  wrong with the chick in this thread. We had interacted innocently on many occasions prior  to my hitting  on her. In that situation, the “Sexy  Son Hypothesis” is very  much working against you. The  most important thing with women is that she senses that you have the potential to get her into bed quickly  and  easily. I  was not nearly quick  enough  here.

 

[DarkKnight]

My two cents: hitting on cashiers, shop clerks, and customer service personnel is lazy and bad for your dating health.

Don't agree at ALL. Bullshit limiting belief. I have gamed waitresses, got them, got them to autoreject (hence they were invested). Point is these girls are still girls if you have an accurate read on their interest, it is foolish not to game them (unless you do not want to burn down the venue.. I have been careful with that and still am).

Hell I recall one cashier I knew, this blonde keep walking in front of my house because she had learned where I live. Girls are still girls.

 

[pazloves]

It's not because it's harder guys, its the exact opposite. Anyway I don't see a problem if you're doing it sparingly, problem is where you only rely on that.

Bullshit limiting belief

I'm aware this could be something. Maybe I just think different. Easy for me to say though I have beaches, hostels, hotels, gyms, social circle, online dates. But I'm in a good position.