Casual/FWB Casual girl unsure of meeting with me UNLESS I take her out

[Elusive]

So Ive been sleeping with this girl for the last month or so

Shes been making it difficult to meet with her this time around and is unsure if shell be free tomorrow
accroding to her

'it depends.. if you are going to be a gentleman and take me out'

I wouldnt mind doing something like that of my own accord - but not in this way
Am I wrong or expecting too much when I feel this way?
Its basically asking me to prove myself - when there is no need
She is taking a lead instead of me
And it teaches her this is the way to get things from me


Now this is the first Relationshippy thing Ive attempted since Ive started with Girlschase so be gentle guys


And now that im trying to learn about relationship management - im feeling that this might be harder than just getting laid... wow

 

[Franco]

Elusive,

It sounds to me like she doesn't want to continue being in a casual relationship, and she wants you to take her out so that she feels like you're working toward a committed relationship. How quickly a girl reaches this stage depends on (1) how well you've communicated your expectations to her and (2) what her personality is like.

If this was your first run at this, my guess is that you probably fudged up #1 a bit, and she's wanting to push for something more even though it's only one month into the sexual relationship. Things you want to consider are: were you seeing her less than once a week (every 8-10 days or so)? Did you communicate to her through words/actions that you're not looking for a committed relationship? Did you keep your activities strictly to conversation, food, and sex? Did you keep your texting to a minimum?

Your actions communicate to her what it is that you want, and if she thinks there's a disparity between your actions and what it is you actually want, then she's going to start pushing for what she wants so that she can be sure she isn't being played.

At this point, your best bet is probably to communicate to her that you aren't looking for a committed relationship, and although you enjoy her and enjoy the time you spend together, you don't want to give her the wrong idea. Let her know that she's more than welcome to keep seeing you, but if she feels like she wants more that it's probably best that she look elsewhere.

NOTE: I should mention that if this is a girl you do want to take into a committed, long-term relationship, then you'll eventually have to start adding in more things other than sex when she begins to push for them. But since you mentioned this is your first "relationshippy" thing you've done, my guess is that you're not ready to settle into a relationship with this girl.

- Franco

 

[Elusive]

Aaah I have no doubt Ive fudged up #1!

Funny thing is - Ive kept seeing her to once a week, Ive kept texting definitely to a minimum. And Ive limited all the activities to what you mentioned.

The thing ive messed up then is...

I let her stay the night last week, we had breakfast, I had sex multiple times with her that night - I think I wasnt supposed to do that?
Damn

One other thing is that for the first 2 weeks of this sexual relationship we were out abroad working for an NGO - and there we saw each other everyday - though I kept things lowkey as possible there im sure its played a part in where I am now..

Anyways how can I communicate to her in the best way possible im not looking for commitment but I WANT to keep seeing her?

 

[Franco]

Elusive,

Anyways how can I communicate to her in the best way possible im not looking for commitment but I WANT to keep seeing her?

At this point, your best bet is probably to communicate to her that you aren't looking for a committed relationship, and although you enjoy her and enjoy the time you spend together, you don't want to give her the wrong idea. Let her know that she's more than welcome to keep seeing you, but if she feels like she wants more that it's probably best that she look elsewhere.

- Franco