- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,353
Whether it is famous playboys like Hugh Hefner himself (who was a virgin at the age of 22), Mystery, rappers raised in poverty, or even some guys on here, I've been thinking about this more and more recently.
In high school and college, at least here in the USA, there were a particular set of guys who managed to get hot girls. Most of the times these were jocks and a lot of the times, it was guys with rich parents who managed to play the popularity game quite well. In a way this somewhat transitioned on to college too where fraternities and sports teams more or less had a monopoly on the hottest girls. Now in those environments, fitting in meant a lot and you had to have status in order to get the hottest girls. Unfortunately, guys who had rich parents (who could pay for their fraternity dues) and came from wealthier backgrounds had a huge leg up on almost everyone else.
Most of the game in high school and college settings was based on tight knit social circles and having the cool factor going for you, by doing that you were granted access to parties, hot girls, and tons of other stuff. Now for the game heavy and individual minded types, high school and college presented some challenges and most of the times, they found it tough to compete with the frat bros.
What makes it even worse is how high school and college are pedestalized as the apex of cool.
High school and college are the times when sex is exciting, fun, and relationships are all about being flashy and validation. In a way, they even hint that girls in those stages go for guys they are truly attracted to. A hot girl might go for a guy she is attracted to in high school and college because he is fun and exciting but after that, as everyone "grows up", she "settles down" because now she is so "mature". She might have had that hot makeout with the guy in college and let him fuck her brains out but no, she is too "sophisticated" for that sort of stuff now that she is 25 and wants guys to be that way as well.
It's like in a stage of life where sex, relationships, validation, and fulfillment that comes from getting laid meant so much; a lot of playboys might have missed out or underachieved big time.
So they spend their adult lives chasing that fulfillment and validation which comes from getting laid.
Whether it is Hugh Hefner throwing flashy parties in his 50s or Dan Bilzerian dominating social media, it seems like what the playboys really want is that same validation, cool factor, and fulfillment that comes from being known as the guy that gets laid rather than just the sex itself. I am like this myself though I am far from a playboy. I missed out on high school and college relationships, now what I really want is to be known as the guy that gets laid a ton as opposed to just getting laid itself. Sex feels great but I feel like I want it to mean more than just sex, I want it to have the same meaning and status it had in high school and college.
In truth, playboys don't actually want to have lots of sex with lots of different women, they want to be known as the guys that have lots of sex with lots of different women. Playboys want the validation, fulfillment, and feeling of greatness that comes from being such a guy because they didn't get that in their formative years. They want to be known as the guy who gave a hot girl an orgasm and had her telling her friends about it, the guy who throws the parties every desirable person wants to attend, and the guy that she has that one night stand with rather than settling down with.
So, if this is true, is there even a way of fixing it?
I mean you can keep going and on and on for a long time and after a while, you might not find the answers you want. At some point, after having fucked all those different women in a way you want (not involving money or being the guy she settles down with), I wonder if there is an actual way to go from being the validation seeker to just living the life you want and finally being at peace. I mean that is eventually my end goal as someone who missed out on a lot.
What are your thoughts?
In high school and college, at least here in the USA, there were a particular set of guys who managed to get hot girls. Most of the times these were jocks and a lot of the times, it was guys with rich parents who managed to play the popularity game quite well. In a way this somewhat transitioned on to college too where fraternities and sports teams more or less had a monopoly on the hottest girls. Now in those environments, fitting in meant a lot and you had to have status in order to get the hottest girls. Unfortunately, guys who had rich parents (who could pay for their fraternity dues) and came from wealthier backgrounds had a huge leg up on almost everyone else.
Most of the game in high school and college settings was based on tight knit social circles and having the cool factor going for you, by doing that you were granted access to parties, hot girls, and tons of other stuff. Now for the game heavy and individual minded types, high school and college presented some challenges and most of the times, they found it tough to compete with the frat bros.
What makes it even worse is how high school and college are pedestalized as the apex of cool.
High school and college are the times when sex is exciting, fun, and relationships are all about being flashy and validation. In a way, they even hint that girls in those stages go for guys they are truly attracted to. A hot girl might go for a guy she is attracted to in high school and college because he is fun and exciting but after that, as everyone "grows up", she "settles down" because now she is so "mature". She might have had that hot makeout with the guy in college and let him fuck her brains out but no, she is too "sophisticated" for that sort of stuff now that she is 25 and wants guys to be that way as well.
It's like in a stage of life where sex, relationships, validation, and fulfillment that comes from getting laid meant so much; a lot of playboys might have missed out or underachieved big time.
So they spend their adult lives chasing that fulfillment and validation which comes from getting laid.
Whether it is Hugh Hefner throwing flashy parties in his 50s or Dan Bilzerian dominating social media, it seems like what the playboys really want is that same validation, cool factor, and fulfillment that comes from being known as the guy that gets laid rather than just the sex itself. I am like this myself though I am far from a playboy. I missed out on high school and college relationships, now what I really want is to be known as the guy that gets laid a ton as opposed to just getting laid itself. Sex feels great but I feel like I want it to mean more than just sex, I want it to have the same meaning and status it had in high school and college.
In truth, playboys don't actually want to have lots of sex with lots of different women, they want to be known as the guys that have lots of sex with lots of different women. Playboys want the validation, fulfillment, and feeling of greatness that comes from being such a guy because they didn't get that in their formative years. They want to be known as the guy who gave a hot girl an orgasm and had her telling her friends about it, the guy who throws the parties every desirable person wants to attend, and the guy that she has that one night stand with rather than settling down with.
So, if this is true, is there even a way of fixing it?
I mean you can keep going and on and on for a long time and after a while, you might not find the answers you want. At some point, after having fucked all those different women in a way you want (not involving money or being the guy she settles down with), I wonder if there is an actual way to go from being the validation seeker to just living the life you want and finally being at peace. I mean that is eventually my end goal as someone who missed out on a lot.
What are your thoughts?
a little too much.
