Chase Frame Problem

[heidegger123]

Hi guys,

So the question I have is about what the best next move is after txting a girl too early after bedding her down. Oddly, I got the idea to txt so soon from reading an article by Chase about how to turn one-night-stands into fuck buddy situations, but in this case my intuition tells me it wasn't the right move. I txted her the evening after we had solid sex (on the first date - I left her place at 3am). I said "want to meet up this week?" A little later she replied "sure."

My gut tells me I have now put myself on her backburner and positioned myself as the chaser. It is now the day after I sent that txt. Should I not reply at all and see if my silence over the weekend resets the chase frame by making her wonder what happened to me?

Thanks!

 

[Virgin101]

Hi guys,

So the question I have is about what the best next move is after txting a girl too early after bedding her down. Oddly, I got the idea to txt so soon from reading an article by Chase about how to turn one-night-stands into fuck buddy situations, but in this case my intuition tells me it wasn't the right move. I txted her the evening after we had solid sex (on the first date - I left her place at 3am). I said "want to meet up this week?" A little later she replied "sure."

My gut tells me I have now put myself on her backburner and positioned myself as the chaser. It is now the day after I sent that txt. Should I not reply at all and see if my silence over the weekend resets the chase frame by making her wonder what happened to me?

Thanks!

Stop showing off, stop trying to put labels on things, and just enjoy the sex next time you meet her.

And well done

 

[heidegger123]

Hi Virgin 101,

I'm not trying to sneakily brag! I ask because I got the one-night-stand vibe (acting on this, I suggested I get an uber home and she said I probably should), so txting the day after just seems like it would come from a place of neediness, and the response of "sure" isn't enthusiastic compared to her other txts. So I'm not sure whether hitting her up later in the week would only cement the status of being the chaser.

 

[Fuck This]

Make the invite something you are going to do regardless.

"Hey i'm going to watch my buddy play at the bar Thursday night. You should meet me there."

"I've got a softball game Wednesday night, gonna grab a bite after. You are welcome to join, or we can meet up after."

"Hey I'm gonna kill time between classes at the Student Union between 10 and 2. Find me there if you are in the area"

The whole Idea is you have things to do and she can join you or not. You are still going to do them.

She might counter with another offer or another time. Decide in advance if you have something else higher priority. If you have time to swing by her place on her invite, do it and let her know you have something in the morning, or later that night to do...

 

[heidegger123]

Hi TwoRocky,

That does sound like the best solution, like a middle way. Thanks for the great suggestion.