Chase, Franco, & experts: How should this all fit into your 20s?

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Hayyyy guys.

I've had a rough start to 2017 that has included getting really sick, some other inconvenient experiences, almost getting into a fight, and just things not being where I want them to be in life. Fortunately, it has been getting better in the past week so I came back on here. My 10 girls a week exercise is currently on hold but I did manage to get my first lay of 2017 recently, lay report coming up on that sometime this weekend, the way it all happened was so wild and it was my best yet in so many ways. Definitely stick around for that one!

As I approach my late 20s, I have this big picture question about my 20s but also about it in regards to women, sex, and relationships.

I work the typical 50-60 hour week where I have my weekends to myself and am considering graduate school in the future, heard that is tough and lonely as well compared to undergrad.

Seems like guys take various paths and both can come out to be full of a lot of regret.

I have friends who have said screw it, taken up jobs as bartenders and club promoters in a major city, and they seem to be living the party lifestyle. At the same time, I feel like they are damaging their future career prospects in regards to graduate school and career growth.

I also have friends who are all about work, especially those that work in Investment Banking and Management Consulting, making six figures out of college but they hardly have time for much else. Now I decided against this path because I missed out on a lot in college and felt that I would crack under that sort of pressure because of it.

Then you have guys like me who go hard at work during the weekdays and then weekends are spent on girls/dating. Yet at the same time I feel like there is so much more I can be doing in regards to growth as a person but I really don't have time for much else other than social life/girls and work.

In your opinion and experience, how should dating and sex fit into a man's 20s?

Can a man have a lot of career success as well as have a very respectable dating life in his 20s?

 

[Inbocca]

Seems like guys take various paths and both can come out to be full of a lot of regret.

I have friends who have said screw it, taken up jobs as bartenders and club promoters in a major city, and they seem to be living the party lifestyle. At the same time, I feel like they are damaging their future career prospects in regards to graduate school and career growth.

I also have friends who are all about work, especially those that work in Investment Banking and Management Consulting, making six figures out of college but they hardly have time for much else. Now I decided against this path because I missed out on a lot in college and felt that I would crack under that sort of pressure because of it.

Then you have guys like me who go hard at work during the weekdays and then weekends are spent on girls/dating. Yet at the same time I feel like there is so much more I can be doing in regards to growth as a person but I really don't have time for much else other than social life/girls and work.

It all really depends. People who've been told that school > good job > happiness all their lives are going to find it hard to break away from that. Even when they finish school and get the good job and still aren't happy, they might even tell themselves they are because they have no idea what else would make them happy. Other people pick up on that and find other lines of work, perhaps ones that some might deem "beneath their talents". All that matters is that you're doing what makes you happy. Success should be nothing but an instrument to achieve that happiness.

As somebody just coming into their 20s, the best advice I can give you is don't work too much. For about a year and a half I did that 60-80 hour work week thing and I literally can't remember anything about that time besides work. If you're clearly building a career that's fine, but there are lots of careers where you work your ass off for years before you get anything to show for it. Those are the careers where the most successful people are in their 40s at the youngest, usually 60s or 70s.

In your opinion and experience, how should dating and sex fit into a man's 20s?

Can a man have a lot of career success as well as have a very respectable dating life in his 20s?

To answer your first question, in my opinion and experience, dating and sex should be at the top of a 20-something's priority list. Usually you're too young to be extremely successful in any industry, but old enough to show potential that prospective mentors will pick up on. You've also got some time to choose exactly what you want to do for a living, but you'll never get the vivacious years back - where you can pull all-nighters and go on spontaneous trips and physically exert yourself and recover in less than a day and go on benders without a hangover and all that fun shit. These are the perfect years for having all kinds of fun with women and you do not want to waste that.

To answer your second question, it goes back to what I said before. Define success for yourself and the question might answer itself. At that age, success is very relative. For my industry, age, and experience, I feel I'm pretty successful, but look at all the musicians that reached multi-millionaire status before hitting 25. Are they more successful? Depends on who you ask.

Fun story: I heard a story from a guy who graduated from high school early, went straight into college and graduated from that early and got a six-figure engineering job by the time he was 21. He then fell into depression which led to a tremendous wash-out in his dating life, which led to more depression. He got a new job and started focusing on women more and things started to look up for him, even if he was making less money.

Moral is: you're probably gonna be at least somewhat miserable regardless of what you do, so do what makes you happiest. As a man, you're biologically hardwired to get gratification from sex, so if you deny yourself that you're going to be unhappy.

Best of luck.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

where you can pull all-nighters and go on spontaneous trips and physically exert yourself and recover in less than a day and go on benders without a hangover and all that fun shit. These are the perfect years for having all kinds of fun with women and you do not want to waste that.

I wonder at what age I will no longer be able to do that

Is it right at 30 or at some point in the late 20s, comes up in my head a lot lol.

 

[Inbocca]

It varies. On average, most guys I've talked to about it notice they started gaining weight and getting tired around 25. It's minor at first, then once you get into later 20s and early 30s it gets progressively stronger. Once you hit 40, that's where everyone agrees youth is over.

You can totally do stuff to prevent that, though. Eating healthy, staying in shape, reducing stress, stretching and getting/staying flexible, avoiding too much alcohol, drugs, and shit food, and no smoking would all help in staving that off. Looking at that list reminds me of how much of that I still have to do hahahah. Goddamn nature.

 

[Big Daddy]

@Inbocca

How old are you bro?

@OP

I'm in the same boat, but in my early 20s. The way I see it, there are two major group of guys.

The first one are guys who choose to dedicate their 20s to money, freedom, and stability under the premise that later on they'll be able to afford (money and time) to focus on dating "seriously."

From my observation, these tend to be the guys who didn't have a particularly natural knack for getting good with girls, and/or weren't in a environment conductive to do so (in small cities, uni party scene not great, horrible logistics, etc). Focusing on their career and then girls seemed like an easier way to do things.

Then there are guys who value experiences in their 20s under the premise that you can always build empires later.

They tend to be "naturals" or guys where things were conductive to getting good with girls NOW (they had a natural friend/mentor, were in a great city, had good logistics, were athletes, etc) and they figured they'd have other advantages in life later by learning to socialize early on and get shortcuts later.

Both of them are essentially doing the same thing: getting pretty good at one thing that they think will give them a good life experience in the short to medium-term and developing a skill they hope later on they'll be able to leverage on the long-term (you can use money to buy coaching and an appartement in a great location and shed years off your learning curve or use your social skills to land mentors and jobs or partners to get shortcuts in your career).

PS: A point can be made about young guys not giving a shit and becoming addicted to drugs, but I assumed both guys made more-or-less a rational decision in which order to master which skill. E.g. I think Franco belongs to the second group.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

It varies. On average, most guys I've talked to about it notice they started gaining weight and getting tired around 25. It's minor at first, then once you get into later 20s and early 30s it gets progressively stronger. Once you hit 40, that's where everyone agrees youth is over.

You can totally do stuff to prevent that, though. Eating healthy, staying in shape, reducing stress, stretching and getting/staying flexible, avoiding too much alcohol, drugs, and shit food, and no smoking would all help in staving that off. Looking at that list reminds me of how much of that I still have to do hahahah. Goddamn nature.

I missed out and I definitely want to get the alcohol in but I keep it to the weekends while eating healthy throughout the week, think that's good enough.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

@Inbocca

How old are you bro?

@OP

I'm in the same boat, but in my early 20s. The way I see it, there are two major group of guys.

The first one are guys who choose to dedicate their 20s to money, freedom, and stability under the premise that later on they'll be able to afford (money and time) to focus on dating "seriously."

From my observation, these tend to be the guys who didn't have a particularly natural knack for getting good with girls, and/or weren't in a environment conductive to do so (in small cities, uni party scene not great, horrible logistics, etc). Focusing on their career and then girls seemed like an easier way to do things.

Then there are guys who value experiences in their 20s under the premise that you can always build empires later.

They tend to be "naturals" or guys where things were conductive to getting good with girls NOW (they had a natural friend/mentor, were in a great city, had good logistics, were athletes, etc) and they figured they'd have other advantages in life later by learning to socialize early on and get shortcuts later.

Both of them are essentially doing the same thing: getting pretty good at one thing that they think will give them a good life experience in the short to medium-term and developing a skill they hope later on they'll be able to leverage on the long-term (you can use money to buy coaching and an appartement in a great location and shed years off your learning curve or use your social skills to land mentors and jobs or partners to get shortcuts in your career).

PS: A point can be made about young guys not giving a shit and becoming addicted to drugs, but I assumed both guys made more-or-less a rational decision in which order to master which skill. E.g. I think Franco belongs to the second group.

The bolded is so big, I fall into the former for the most part and am finding that where you are raised has a big say in your success in all of this.

I am in my mid 20s now, hoping to get more into the nightlife and party scene though but worry if late 20s might be too late for it, who knows.

 

[Big Daddy]

I don't think it's too much of a problem, Tyler from RSD is almost 40, has kids and still does great. Lots of these pro pick-up guys are in their 30s.

Chase himself must be around mid-30s, though I don't think he's hitting nightlife that often.

 

[Inbocca]

@Inbocca

How old are you bro?

Gonna be 23 this summer. These years keep flying by, man. Still feel like high school was just a couple years ago.

I missed out and I definitely want to get the alcohol in but I keep it to the weekends while eating healthy throughout the week, think that's good enough.

I don't blame you, it's part of the package. I've always had a super great metabolism and started putting away half a 6-pack of craft beer a night after I turned 21. Suddenly my gut was getting bigger and that scared me into drinking less frequently. Nowadays I tend to binge and work it off.

Technically Champagne has the fewest calories, but I find it difficult not to drink most of the bottle so it kind of cancels out. Next best thing is most 80-proof spirits.

Also, I totally didn't say anything before (super rude), but welcome back dude! Hope 2017 gets a lot better for you.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Inbocca.

You're the first one to actually greet me, not rude at all!

2017 is off to a good start, feel like it will only get better too.

I just want to spend some nights and weekends of my life just getting blacked out drunk for the hell of it.