Chase's Article on Office Politics.. But, Handling Your Boss?

[NarrowJ]

I really enjoyed Chase's article, How To Destroy Office Politics and Passive-Aggression. Since I work in an office environment, I'm constantly dealing with sneaky people and brown-nosers. It was an enjoyable read and the content was helpful.

Seems the tactics provided are pointed toward how to deal with your peers and/or underlings. I have seen my relationship with my direct manager deteriorate somewhat over the course of the past year, and wondered if people would be interested in sharing ideas on handling your boss.

Here's my situation:

A little less than a year ago, he had called a meeting with me, himself and his boss to talk about a few issues I was (supposedly) having. I felt that the things that were brought up were a bit nitpicky. However, as my boss led the discussion he greatly exaggerated each discussion item, making them seem more valid. It was the first time in my several years here that I really felt like I was being treated unfairly. One of the things that was talked about was that most of my projects were coming in at the top end of our client's budgets. I had just completed a project at just over 50% budget, so that one was a head-scratcher.

Over the course of the next 8-10 months or so I would see a few of my peer's projects go over budget by ten's of thousands of dollars. The fact that I had projects coming at 95% to 105% of the client's budget, compared with these other folks who's projects were finishing at 150% of the client's budget, made me wonder a little.

Then, a few days after Christmas I have my performance/pay review. Out of the 20/30ish some areas for which they review performance, I met expectations on ALL of them. I received a 3% raise, which was not the 5% I've become accustomed to. I didn't voice any concern or displeasure regarding my level of performance versus the pay increase, because things had already been tense with my boss and I, and didn't want to stir the pot.

Shortly after this, he had somewhat of an informal discussion with me about issues that he felt I was having with the recent quality of my work. The issues he referred to were a couple things that had went through 3 layers of quality assurance and then also approved by the client. I had no problem taking part of the responsibility, but this was a project for which he was the main developer. It was about $30,000 over budget, and there was a list of production issues still being handled. I pleaded my case to him that the problems should have been caught during QA, and also mentioned that my two issues were not the only lingering problems with the project. This only seemed to infuriate him. I did not mention the budget issue, though, as I already had seemed to strike a nerve pointing out all the other issues with his portion of the project.

Then, a couple months later (just recently) he called a meeting again with me, himself and his boss to talk about more "issues" I have been having. The 4 things we talked about specifically, were (1) the problems found by the client in the previously mentioned project, (2) and (3) a couple of clients that had complained that I was not getting back to them in a timely manner, and (4) I had been having problems getting another very large project wrapped up and ready for completion.

I held my ground on #1, admitted guilt on items #2 and #3, and as for #4... well, #4 was a project I'd been involved with for the past several months. My part of the project was finished at $27,000 below what we estimated. The rest of the project was finished at $52,000 over what we had estimated. The budget for this project was completely f*cked, and it would have been about twice as bad if it were not for my efficiency. What's more, when the project was nearing completion, they pulled me in to wrap up all the loose ends that were left by the other team of developers that had caused the $52,000 overage. So, I felt like #4... I had actually saved that project from being a complete disaster, and so having someone bring that up as something that was an issue for me was like a giant kick in the nuts.

Then, the next day they fire the guy that sits right behind me and send an email out to the group announcing his termination, and stressing quality of work and timely responses to clients (both things that my boss had been bringing up to me as issues that I was having). So he was fired because of those things. Point taken.

About 10 minutes after that email comes through, my boss forwards an email to me stating that he had sent our meeting outline from the previous day to HR as a "documented discussion", and forwarded me exactly what was sent and documented. The contents of what he sent to HR: much of it was completely false, and what wasn't completely false was greatly exaggerated and the general tone of it was not good.

So, needless to say, when that happens it makes it seem like he is trying to fire me. I'd love to think that I could just be a better employee, and things would clear up. But, as my performance reviews have indicated over the past several years, I'm one of the best developers that they have on staff. I don't feel like I am being treated fairly here. It really seems like he has a personal issue with me, and now he's making lists of stuff that basically is greatly exaggerated or not even true in many cases and sending these lists off to HR to be documented.

I'm sure some of you guys have dealt with something like this. How do I get this guy back on my side?


NarrowJ

 

[PinotNoir]

I'll be honest with you. This situation sounds pretty fucked.... And even if you do get on good terms, it sounds like others (who are going way over budget compared with yourself and therefore doing poorer quality of work) are getting paid more with higher raises, while your pay/raises are limited by your relationship with your boss instead of your actual quality of work.

I'd maybe start looking for a new job.

Anyway, the way I would handle this is to make a complete record/documentation of all the good things that you have done. He's just making a list of the negative things you have done and throwing it at your face, with complete disregard to all of the positive work that you have done. On your next review, you can show all of the projects that were within 5-10% of the budget. If you can, you can compare this with your coworkers in a professional way (don't say any specific names). You can also send out some type of survey to your customers, having them rate your performance and on what needs to be improved. Then, when you have improved those specific areas for those customers, you can send out new surveys and see if you get higher marks. If everything goes well (as planned), then you can also bring this up in your next review, showing the results of customers being overall happy with your performance and improvements.

Basically, you need proof that you're doing well, even though he's saying that you are not. Document hours worked (especially any overtime), talking with customers one-on-one to resolve issues, the number of issues resolved (or number of bugs per project compared with colleagues), etc. Anything and everything that you can use to show that you are a good worker.

This should be enough "fire" to ask for a higher raise in the next review.

Lastly, I'd also talk with HR about that outline and discuss with them privately and professionally how you think that it's not accurate.

Hope all goes well for you.

 

[Marty]

I'd maybe start looking for a new job.

That's putting it mildly. Immediately work on developing alternatives, if you haven't already.

Not only does this offer you security when push comes to shove, it also gives you greater leverage in any and all negotiations that may ensue.

Because of the yawning difference between the objective reality of your performance and the picture your boss is trying to paint, the only conceivable conclusion is that he has it in for you. This may be because of personal dislike, but it is more likely that he is finding a scapegoat for pressure he is himself feeling from above.

I had the latter happen to me a couple years back. Semi-annual performance review with all areas either satisfactory or better, and less than two months later, I was asked in no uncertain terms to leave. They paid me a five-figure severance to go quietly—but I had to make it last 6 months before I found other employment, at much lower pay, so there was nothing good about any of it.

Only very weak men blame their subordinates for their own failures. I have always taken the view that I am accountable for the performance of my team as well as my own.

And I agree with Pinot: press for written confirmation and document as much as you can so that you have something to use against him when the inevitable comes to pass.

Sorry to hear this, NJ.

 

[DesiBro]

Abundance mentality applies to work too. You should always have utmost confidence that you could have another good job if necessary, and you should be ready to walk out if you aren't treated well.

 

[Whizzy]

Is your bosses boss involved in this sillyness too?

 

[Thedoctor]

NarrowJ,

There's already some really good responses here so I won't repeat what's already been said. I have had a couple difficult bosses, over the years, much like the one you described. There were two occasions where I believed the situation had gone too far. Here was how I responded:

*Boss starts going into rant about very trivial issue*
"(Boss's name), are you ready to fire me over this?"
This is usually followed by a pause because he is dumbfounded I said this, so I continue. "Because this is where I stand with this.. . I'm a good employee, in fact, I think I'm one of your best employees. I show up on time, I never take any sick days. I do my job well and require no supervision. So if (insert whatever stupid issue he has here) is that big a deal to you, then fire me, otherwise, stop bringing it up because it's not going to change."

Then I don't say anything. In both situations, they just walked away. I was sure both times I would be fired shortly after (which I was prepared for). I wasn't. Their overall attitude towards me changed and I was left in peace to do my job.

I have found that confronting bosses like this directly is the best approach. If you end up losing your job. Oh well, at least you left with your testicles. Just like women, there are a ton of jobs out there, so don't lose your abundance mentality.

-John

 

[trashKENNUT]

NJ,

I have been in your position, although not exactly as worse as yours. Let me get direct to the point. You tried explain your case, telling your boss what was actually done and what the actions you took from him and explain where it went, what happen to projects.

IF he's trying to get you fired, unless you not under contract, Fight back. Because that's exactly what he wants. IF you under contract, just hold out and explain, wash rinse and repeat.

I have piss bosses off, and i have make some of them respect me, and they treat me so well, that even customers tips my services once i let it off my chest.

It's up to you, because money is a sensitive subject.

Zac

 

[NarrowJ]

Thanks everyone, for all the great feedback. I've already sent my resume out a few different places, and received instant interest from a couple of them. And to Whizzy's question, my boss's manager is actually top-notch. I really appreciate his management style, as he truly focuses on solutions instead of placing blame. His delivery of criticism is never without constructiveness and thoughtfulness and creating opportunity to fix the problem(s). He is just completely snowed by my boss's exaggerations and fabrications of various events/situations that have occurred.

I agree with everyone that said the situation cannot be remedied. And, I think I'm really going to "let him have it" when I do my exit interview.

I've gathered my last four years worth of documented performance reviews (all of which have been exemplary), and also compiled some rather hostile email messages from my boss.

I'm getting my ducks in a row, and maybe there will be a significant salary bump involved in this situation as well. I know that when I do leave, he will be hurting to find people that have my skill-level =)

Again, thank you to everyone for the feedback. You guys are wonderful.

NarrowJ

 

[trashKENNUT]

NJ,

In case, Apologies if i sound like a guy who wants to throw his weight around and be the boss. I think it's important to respect your boss, but I need to tell Chase, that as much as you would like to change bosses in his office politics article if he doesn't respect you, On ground level, and i really mean on ground level, some of those things he mention are difficult to apply, because of either contracts or because most bosses don't give a shit about people without college degrees. This is what i found, at least for now.

I need to read the article again, because i didn't read it all, yet.

Zac

 

[Nuncle]

Hi Nj

1) Stay calm and don't get personal. But also don't give any sign that you are affected or stressed by his accusations.
2) Don't admit to anything he wants you to admit to. Rather, just have a clear, rational and detailed explanation as to why you took the decisions you did.
3) Document everything. Any conversations he as with you, summarise in an e-mail to him. "Pete, just to clarify what we discussed today....."
4) If he starts to piss you off try very hard not to let this demotivate you. That will cause you to make genuine mistakes.
5) If you feel he has been totally unreasonable take it to HR and/or his boss. First informally then formally. And if he is going to HR then you need to respond with counter-grievances.
6) With regard to the fact that he is starting to go to HR, examine everything he does in this regard and check that it is in line with the law/company policies. If it is not point this out to him in writing "I was some what surprised to see that you had mentioned _________ to HR, not having raised it informally with me first. Can you confirm whether you contacted HR on a formal or informal basis as it wasn't too clear from your e-mail. If formal can you clarify on what basis exactly?"

Good luck!

(Disclaimer: I am in the UK, where I believe we have somewhat better employee protection than you guys)

 

[Chase]

Sometimes I wonder how these situations come about. Death by a thousand cuts, I think they usually are. For whatever reason NJ, your boss seems to have decided that you're someone who needs to go, and he's going to gradually build up a case against you until he feels ready to push the button. If things were good for the 3 years previously, chances are he's started to feel the squeeze himself (his blowing up at you when you mention things he's responsible for seems to indicate that's a sensitive point), and he's looking to shift the blame onto whoever his least favorite people are for whatever reason. This isn't always the worst performers... if you are pretty good, but not absolutely standout all-star good, and there is something else he finds moderately disagreeable about you compared to other folks (maybe they spend more time kissing his ass, or are more agreeable than you and he prefers that, or who knows - when the crunch is on, often the first people you want out are the ones whom you think aren't totally in lockstep with you and ready to follow you into oblivion), he may just decide he's got it out for you.

If he was just seeming disheartened by your performance and things were slowly unraveling, I'd suggest going and having a heart-to-heart with him and telling him things have clearly been not as good this past year, and you really respect him as a boss and love your job and want to get everything kosher, but he needs to level with you and tell you exactly what the real problem is, because you can't fix it if you don't know what it is. Then pitch ideas: is it your performance? Is it this? Is it that? Even if you're the best guy in the office, when he says "yes" to something, then say, okay, help me understand. Am I better at this than X guy, or not as good? In what way? Then instead of you trying to tell him what a great job you're doing, or pointing at other guys and playing pass the blame (which, even if you're right, puts him on the defensive and entrenches him in his position, forcing him to defend it - you want to get HIM to tell you your performance is superior to theirs, not you tell him yourself), you get him telling you explicitly how it looks to him. Defending yourself against someone who has a solid opinion of you doesn't help; you need to figure out WHAT his opinion is exactly, and address THAT.

Like this:

• 
  You: Is it my performance? Am I not coding fast enough? Are my solutions overly inelegant? I seem to be under budget, but am I not far enough under budget?
  
  Him: Honestly, it's your performance. It's just not up-to-par.
  
  You: (fighting the urge to protest and tell him he's flat out wrong) Okay. Are you comparing me to other guys in the office, or using a different yardstick?
  
  Him: It's not the other guys in the office I'm worried about. Your function is different from theirs; you're our X guy, and an X guy I expect to be able to do Y in Z amount of time. You've consistently not been meeting that.
  
  You: All right. Which of my projects do you feel I came up short in doing Y in Z time? Were there any I did a good job in, or did I not do well in all of them?

Basically, every time you feel the urge to protest, you muzzle yourself, and instead you just keep asking questions to dive down further into figuring out where precisely the problem is, and at some point he's either going to usually realize you're not as horrible as he thinks, OR he's going to point out a problem to you you didn't realize was there and you're going to slap your forehead and say okay, I can fix that.

That's if he's not too far gone, that is.

But by this point, when he's actively fabricating things about you, as the other guys have said, it's so far gone you're up the creek. It's analogous to the girl who's so far into auto-rejection that no matter how many times you tell her what a great guy you are, she's going to find a host of other reasons to give you about how terrible you are, even if she has to pull them out of her ass. That's not normally something you're going to turn around, no matter how good you are... which probably means it's time to cut bait and move on.

Chase

 

[NarrowJ]

If things were good for the 3 years previously, chances are he's started to feel the squeeze himself (his blowing up at you when you mention things he's responsible for seems to indicate that's a sensitive point), and he's looking to shift the blame onto whoever his least favorite people are for whatever reason.

^ This.

I had lunch today with a couple other guys, and one of them (without knowing any of this- I haven't told anyone at work) was telling us about a situation with our supervisor that sounded about the same as what I've been dealing with. So, I guess it's not just me.

He was also frustrated that having thought a simple discussion had resolved things, only to subsequently receive notification that my supervisor's side of the story was what got documented, while his own explanation didn't seem to amount to jack squat.

Still on with the job hunt! I have an interview Wednesday

NJ

 

[lux7]

How did it turn out NJ?