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Was searching for an old post and dug up this gem from Chase's old days. Great read, really cool quotes. Enjoy.
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Howdy gentlemen,
In light of my departure from San Diego after three great years, and in light of my departure from this board – think it was ThaMonkee who convinced me to join when I met him at a barbecue, after long being one who abstained from lairs, so many thanks to him, as being on here turned out to be a great experience – I wanted to share some of the best lessons I’ve learned in seduction. Maybe some of them you’ve already learned yourself; and I’m sure there are plenty that guys on here have learned that *I* haven’t learned yet. But hopefully, a few of these will be useful to some of the great cats on here in pursuit of their better selves.
Before I begin, shout out to my man and former partner-in-crime Mateo – you’re an incredibly knowledgeable dude, and your energy and excitement about this stuff is contagious. I was getting ready to pack up my website and step away from the world of seduction for good when you got in touch with me last year to talk business; only reason I’m still posting and training dudes, most probably, is because our joint venture last fall. I had a great time working with you, and learned probably as much from you as the students did -- your awareness of minute social / verbal / noverbal details I hadn't even noted consciously (or have heard anyone else note) is beyond impressive.
Shout out too to all the wonderful chaps I’ve met here – those who’ve hung with me, those who've run game with me, those who've trained with me, those who attended the little talk I gave at the lair meet a few weeks back, and everyone I’ve been in-touch with or corresponded with. You’ve all been really kind and super cool, and I’m glad to have gotten the chance to meet and talk and work with you all.
First, to start off this post, a few paraphrased words of wisdom that shattered some preconceived notions I’d had along the way and basically served as paradigm shifts in the way I thought about women and seduction.
1. Relationships are like clay pots. When they’re fresh and new, it’s easy to shape them into what you want them to be; but once they’ve had a chance to set, that’s what they are. It’s far easier to start a new relationship and shape it properly than it is to try and reshape one that’s been misformed or broken. – Sebastian Drake
2. What’s the number one way to prevent flakes? Fuck ‘em the day you meet ‘em. – Vin DiCarlo
3. Think of your first three approaches of the day as warm-ups. It takes the pressure off, and lets you start getting into the mode of meeting new people. Once you’ve gotten those first three approaches under your belt, all the rest are a lot easier. – Glenn P
4. If you’re not getting blown out, you’re not trying hard enough. When you’re going very sexual direct, about 23% of women will blow you out outright within the first minute. Maybe 60% are kind of neutral to it; the remaining 17% will hook HARD and will make themselves known to you in a group. Those are the ones you sleep with the same night. – Brad P
5. Try to spend more time with girls. If you like a girl, and she likes you, and things are going well, why not try to keep spending time with her? Find ways that the two of you can keep spending time together. Don’t just let her walk away. – Sebastian Drake
6. Go direct. It doesn’t open as often, but when it does open, the girls it opens are SO much more into you. I had a big fight with Style on Fast Seduction back in the day about this. He said you can’t get a 10 by going direct; I said read my last lay report. That was a 10 fashion model that I went direct on and slept with the same day. Direct works, and it works better than anything else. Go direct. – Sebastian Drake
7. They’re JUST GIRLS. – Father of a mASF poster
8. You have all this complicated stuff you’re doing to try to get laid and that’s cool and all, but it seems like a lot of work. Me, I just go out, crack a few jokes, invite some bitch home to the after party, get her drunk, and fuck her. – Natural Pal in San Diego
9. Don’t make your dates so difficult. I just tell girls to come over to my place to hang out. Sex happens a lot faster and easier that way. – Alex Chase
10. You know, there’s a funny thing about asking a girl to do something until she says yes. It’s a strange phenomenon; you can ask her to come with you five, six, seven times or more, and she’ll still say no. But somewhere around the tenth or twelfth time you ask her, you’ll see this change come across her eyes, like something has just turned inside of her, and she’ll suddenly say, “OK,” then happily come along or do what you’re asking her to. – Sebastian Drake
11. I realized something when listening to what you said to your girl when she asked you why you couldn’t be exclusive. You have a lot of “I”s in there, and hardly any “you”s. “I want this,” “I need that,” “I have to do something else.” When people hear all “I”s they start panicking and think you don’t care about them and aren’t thinking about them or concerned for them. Then they go on the defensive and reject everything you say and fight for their own cause. You should be framing everything you say in how it’s good for HER. Use “you”. “You wouldn’t like me if I became this,” “You need a man who can be that,” etc. You, you, you. – Sebastian Drake
12. What is the thing people are most aware of in a social setting? What’s the thing that everyone is looking for, that everyone is attuned to about who is giving to whom, that everyone is seeking to get more of from people that interest them? Attention. – Mateo (a.k.a. MNX)
13. Finally, you see. You were so caught up in all your things that you never noticed how much your behavior hurt ME. – My Bebita, ex-girlfriend
14. You know, for as positive and encouraging as I try to be to every student I’ve ever had, and I know that you do too, you know, and I know, that the vast, vast majority of guys who take a pickup class are never going to get all that good at it. Most of them just don’t have the motivation, or determination, or stamina to go out night after night and push themselves and take the punches and do the things they need to do to really get good. You’ve seen it; most of these guys just appear, take a class, and disappear, never to be heard from again. They go back to living their normal lives and after the excitement of the class they took dies down, it becomes an afterthought they might reflect back on fondly, but never really take action on again. It’s a very small, elite subset of men who stick in this for the long haul and put the amount of work in they need to put in to get to the point where they can regularly attract and sleep with and have relationships with the kinds of women they really want. – Sebastian Drake
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I’d also like to share with you some of the things *I* feel are the most important parts of seduction and relationship management. Hope some of these are useful too.
1. The World Runs on Investment. Compliance, investment, effort, work – all names for how much someone is putting in to social interactions in general and into his or her interactions with a specific person, specifically. It’s like its own little Matrix that no one is aware of until he starts paying attention to it. We all have these underlying “feelings” – e.g., looking at a guy chilling who effortlessly seems to have women chasing after him, and saying, “That guy looks COOL.” But most of us aren’t consciously aware of how CRUCIAL effort is to ALL social interactions. The best way to begin is by seeking to get girls to put more work in. Then seeking to minimize how much work YOU appear to be putting in (can be actually reduced, or you can just get better at making something seem effortless or like an afterthought). Over time, you’ll develop a very keen awareness of who’s who in the social pecking order simply by paying attention to how much effort they put into all of their interactions. You should be used to giving girls commands, getting them contributing to interactions from the beginning, and getting them committed to spending time with you.
2. The Key to Unreactiveness? Exposure is step one. Beautiful girls make you uncomfortable? You need more exposure to them. That means, you need to get them in your life, and make friends with them, and spend enough time around them that you begin to feel very natural around beautiful women – they stop being unknown, and thus stop being scary. When you meet girls like that going forward, even when they start challenging you, you remain calm and in control and are able to respond in an attractive way – because you understand these girls now, and you realize that what they’re doing / saying is not a big deal. Approaching strangers makes you nervous? Get more exposure to it. It’s important to get exposure to as wide variety of circumstances with women as possible – e.g., approaching 100 beautiful women is not enough to get comfortable around beautiful women. You need to approach them; you need to talk with them; you need to be friends with them; you need to shag them; you need to date them. And that’s the second step – results. You need to get positive results to inspire confidence in your abilities to achieve future results, both to get yourself moving and to get yourself putting that “results are assumed” vibe. It’s a process you really can’t speed up; it just takes time. But if you keep working on bringing beautiful women into your life and doing more and more things with them, you’ll become increasingly at ease, and increasingly unreactive, and find increasing success and results – and thus, become increasingly adept with beautiful women, whether meeting them for the first time, or dealing with relationship drama 10 years into being with a girl.
3. Seek to Get Others to Do the Talking. Personally, I have one of the most interesting, colorful lives and backstories I have ever heard. But even after knowing me for three or four years, there’s still a lot about me most people don’t know, simply because I tend to let other people do most of the talking. Particularly when you’re dealing with confident, accomplished people, you’ll find that EVERYONE loves talking about herself, her life, her past, and her dreams. Not only that, but women LOVE men who are mysteries. When women meet guys who start unloading buckets of details about themselves, those women assume those men are trying to impress them, and are probably telling them the most interesting things about themselves. Thus, intrigue fades, and with it goes much of women’s attraction for those men. But the men who maintain some mystery about themselves… now, those men women wonder about. And think about. And try to fill in the blanks in their heads, then speculate whether they got it right. Interest her in you without revealing too much about yourself, and get her talking openly to you about herself.
4. Push, and Persist. I ate at a diner yesterday, and asked them if they had WiFi. Then I asked them questions about the menu. Often when I’m dining I’ll ask for things that aren’t on the menu, because sometimes restaurants will have them. Did you know the Waterfront bar downtown has calamari steak? It isn’t on the menu. But I get it every time I eat there. Four or five years ago, and I feel kinda silly saying it now, in reflection, but I couldn’t do those kinds of things. It felt too… disruptive… to ask about and push for the things I wanted. I was crap in negotiations, too afraid of coming across like an asshole. Well, just like you should always try to get what you want in negotiations, in restaurants, in any kind of service, so should you always try to get what you want with *women*. Most guys don’t. Even a lot of guys who’ve been in pickup for a long time don’t. You HAVE TO ASK. Better, command. She stands up to leave? “No, sit. Sit for five minutes. Your friends will be fine on the dance floor without you… I promise they won’t get kicked out of the club or anything in the next five minutes. Stay for five minutes; you won’t regret it.” She comes back to your place and starts talking about leaving? “Stop it. You just got here. You have to at least take off your shoes, kick up, and TRY to relax before deciding you’d rather drive all the way back home, climb into bed, and fall asleep. That’s boring. A half hour of chilling won’t throw your bedtime off, trust me.” Pushing will get you results like you wouldn’t believe.
5. Don’t Worry About It. Time to call that BOMB ass chick you met the other night, and you’re knees are all aquiver? Take a walk, set yourself on a mission down the sidewalk to DO something, and call her while you’re on your way. Once your mind is off her, your conversation / voicemail will be ten times as natural and relaxed, and her attraction will be ten times better. After a while, you’ll just be able to lay back on your bed and call girls like this because you’ll just stop worrying about it. You just slept with the most amazing woman of your life, and you’re desperate to know if you can get her into a relationship? Chill. Force yourself to spend your mental energy thinking about other women. The less time you spend on her, the more effectively you’ll combat those creeping feelings of being head-over-heels. Time to approach that super cutie at the bar? Remind yourself that the more women you talk to like her, the better with them you’ll get, and the more often you’ll find girls who look like her that you’ll hit it off with.
6. Ask Girls Home. It doesn’t matter if you have the most amazing routine stack in the world, or the slickest silver tongue this side of South Dakota. If you don’t ask girls to come home with you and sleep with you – whether in the bars and clubs and streets and stores you meet them in, or on the dates you take them on – what’s the point? “Let’s finish our drinks here, and go have a nightcap to end the night.” That’s all you have to say. When she asks where, you tell her, “I know a really good place not far from here – great music, and really cheap drinks.” If she asks if it’s your place, tell her, “You’ll see,” or, “Be patient.” That’s all. Or, you can always just tell her, “I have really interesting ceilings. Wanna see them?” That last was only field tested once, but it worked!
7. Chase Framing – How to Be the Prize. Chase frames are probably the easiest, most effective ways to take the old pickup standby “Be the Prize” and realize it in your own interactions. Most guys say, “I’m the prize,” but it doesn’t really mean shit other than some ephemeral sense of how they’re not going to tolerate bullshit or something. That’s not what being the prize is, though. This is:
Girl: I’m not sure what to order. Do you like meatballs?
Guy: I like *my* meatballs. But you’re not having them here. I don’t know any of these people and I’m not exposing myself in front of them.
Girl: You should try those jeans on.
Guy: No way. You just want to see how my ass will look in tight pants. I’m not falling for that. Use your imagination or something… geez.
Girl: Can you come over and help me with my computer?
Guy: Oh, like I haven’t had that one before. First, I come over, thinking I’m just going to innocently help you fix some problem. Then all of a sudden, your clothes aren’t on anymore, and there are candles lit and seductive music is playing. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. Fine, I’ll come over… but you better behave yourself. Don’t make me use my karate.
What are you doing there? You’re using humor to suggest that SHE is chasing after YOU. Painting the picture in her head over and over again that she’s the pursuer, and you’re the pursued. That she’s trying to get you. You also paint the idea of her and you doing sexual things together in her head. Over and over. And because she’s laughing and enjoying herself, those memories are also tied to really good feelings, and even when she objects (“Shut up, no I’m not!”), she’s laughing, and it’s not a real objection. Chase framing can have a girl’s panties wet for you so fast it’s a little crazy.
As a bonus, here’s one I stole from A2daMIR (on FastSeduction.com) that I like a lot:
Guy: You must be shy or something.
Girl: I’m not shy! Why do you say that?
Guy: Well, we’ve been talking for a while now, and you still haven’t asked me my name or my phone number.
8. Believe You Can Get It. Whatever “it” may be. One of the watershed moments in my seduction career was when I realized that if I went out on a half-decent night with an OK amount of women out, I could almost certainly find ONE who would come home with me. She might sleep with me when I got her there, she might not, but I could at least GET her there and get to kissing and escalating and maybe sex. Whenever I really wanted. And it wasn’t hard. It wasn’t even that my game made some kind of incredible leap to get to that realization. I still had plenty of women I talked to who had no interest in getting to know me, and plenty of quick conversations that didn’t go anywhere. But I found that that realization changed a lot of things. Suddenly, pickup became much lower pressure – once I knew that all I had to do was meet enough women, and I’d find one I liked who’d go home with me, it suddenly just seemed really straightforward and easy. I had this realization when I pulled three nights in a row in Thailand, and then came back to the States and was able to continue pulling almost any night that I determined to pull. It was like a huge load off my shoulders – all I had to do was keep meeting women, keep assessing them quickly (e.g., moving them soon into an interaction is a HUGE barometer of interest – if she won’t move with you seven to eight minutes in, it’s highly unlikely she’ll go home with you later in the night – so grab her number, and keep meeting new girls until you find one who WILL move with you), and you’ll find one eventually to take home, that night.
9. Get Your Process Down. *Know* the steps you’ll follow. For me, my basic “get laid” plan is:
Go out --> Start meeting women --> Keep moving until you find one you like who’s responding well --> Get her committed fast (move her) --> Throw a chase frame down and get her thinking sexual things about you --> Take her home --> Shag her
My basic interaction process is:
Open --> Playful banter --> “Getting To Know You” questions --> deep rapport, with chase frame humor mixed in --> Interrupt, with reason to move; then move --> Sit close, escalate kino, continue to bond and set the chase frame --> Take her home
Goal is to be into fairly deep rapport about her dreams and hopes and desires and past relationships by about five to ten minutes in. I might move her before then, if we’re bantering really well and I can tell she has strong attraction for me, or I might wait until she’s telling me something deep that I know she needs to get out now, and when she asks me about something deep, I’ll start telling her, then interrupt myself to move us somewhere more intimate. Unless we’re already sitting, in which case I’ll skip that step usually, as it feels a little unnecessary. I’ll just find other ways to get her to invest.
Finally, one more:
Go for the kinds of women YOU want. I see lots of guys in the pickup community who train themselves to be really good at picking up, say, strippers, because it’s kind of a status symbol. But then it turns out that those guys ACTUALLY like a completely different kind of girl. But by the time they got good with strippers (or whatever different kind of girl they trained on), they started alienating their ideal girls.
Fact is, guys who are good with certain kinds of women often sacrifice success with certain other kinds of women. You can always retrain yourself for new kinds of women, and there certainly are aspects of universal value you can improve upon personally that will make you more attractive to ALL women (e.g., being fun, playful, sexy, socially savvy, confident & dominant, relaxed, etc.), but typically, guys who do very well with women tend to be specialized (the generalists just aren’t as successful, usually… to much “Jack of All Trades” and not as much “Ace”)… and the more specialized you get with one kind of girl, the more you lose skill with others.
That said, if you’re a perfectionist, you can always train yourself on different kinds of girls at different times. Once you have, you can pull out your different styles of game… e.g., you know that strippers like super-chill, manly men but who have an interest in mystical things like astrology and precognition; you know that FOB girls from Asia or Europe or Latin America are often a little more shy since they don’t know anyone and don’t understand the language well, and you’ve got to tone your game down a lot; you know that party girls in party mode are looking for ENERGY, and you have to come in with strong banter (or, in some cases, strong intent and a very sexual vibe) that still doesn’t seem entertaining or tryhard, or you instantly get cast into that same no-man’s land that all the other guys trying to entertain the girls looking for entertainment get cast into.
In the end, the more you work at this, the more women you meet and date, and the more you learn from knowledgeable guys, the more adept at game you will become.
It’s been a pleasure, gentlemen; I’ll still be around on my forum on my site at least from time to time, and you can always get in touch with me by email. And of course, drop me a line if you’re coming to Asia.
Be well, Godspeed to you all, and… onwards, to all of our next adventures.
Chase
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If you liked that, there's 13 other posts still viewable on the site, I just finished reading all of them and they're pretty fucking cool.
https://www.girlschase.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=10
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Howdy gentlemen,
In light of my departure from San Diego after three great years, and in light of my departure from this board – think it was ThaMonkee who convinced me to join when I met him at a barbecue, after long being one who abstained from lairs, so many thanks to him, as being on here turned out to be a great experience – I wanted to share some of the best lessons I’ve learned in seduction. Maybe some of them you’ve already learned yourself; and I’m sure there are plenty that guys on here have learned that *I* haven’t learned yet. But hopefully, a few of these will be useful to some of the great cats on here in pursuit of their better selves.
Before I begin, shout out to my man and former partner-in-crime Mateo – you’re an incredibly knowledgeable dude, and your energy and excitement about this stuff is contagious. I was getting ready to pack up my website and step away from the world of seduction for good when you got in touch with me last year to talk business; only reason I’m still posting and training dudes, most probably, is because our joint venture last fall. I had a great time working with you, and learned probably as much from you as the students did -- your awareness of minute social / verbal / noverbal details I hadn't even noted consciously (or have heard anyone else note) is beyond impressive.
Shout out too to all the wonderful chaps I’ve met here – those who’ve hung with me, those who've run game with me, those who've trained with me, those who attended the little talk I gave at the lair meet a few weeks back, and everyone I’ve been in-touch with or corresponded with. You’ve all been really kind and super cool, and I’m glad to have gotten the chance to meet and talk and work with you all.
First, to start off this post, a few paraphrased words of wisdom that shattered some preconceived notions I’d had along the way and basically served as paradigm shifts in the way I thought about women and seduction.
1. Relationships are like clay pots. When they’re fresh and new, it’s easy to shape them into what you want them to be; but once they’ve had a chance to set, that’s what they are. It’s far easier to start a new relationship and shape it properly than it is to try and reshape one that’s been misformed or broken. – Sebastian Drake
2. What’s the number one way to prevent flakes? Fuck ‘em the day you meet ‘em. – Vin DiCarlo
3. Think of your first three approaches of the day as warm-ups. It takes the pressure off, and lets you start getting into the mode of meeting new people. Once you’ve gotten those first three approaches under your belt, all the rest are a lot easier. – Glenn P
4. If you’re not getting blown out, you’re not trying hard enough. When you’re going very sexual direct, about 23% of women will blow you out outright within the first minute. Maybe 60% are kind of neutral to it; the remaining 17% will hook HARD and will make themselves known to you in a group. Those are the ones you sleep with the same night. – Brad P
5. Try to spend more time with girls. If you like a girl, and she likes you, and things are going well, why not try to keep spending time with her? Find ways that the two of you can keep spending time together. Don’t just let her walk away. – Sebastian Drake
6. Go direct. It doesn’t open as often, but when it does open, the girls it opens are SO much more into you. I had a big fight with Style on Fast Seduction back in the day about this. He said you can’t get a 10 by going direct; I said read my last lay report. That was a 10 fashion model that I went direct on and slept with the same day. Direct works, and it works better than anything else. Go direct. – Sebastian Drake
7. They’re JUST GIRLS. – Father of a mASF poster
8. You have all this complicated stuff you’re doing to try to get laid and that’s cool and all, but it seems like a lot of work. Me, I just go out, crack a few jokes, invite some bitch home to the after party, get her drunk, and fuck her. – Natural Pal in San Diego
9. Don’t make your dates so difficult. I just tell girls to come over to my place to hang out. Sex happens a lot faster and easier that way. – Alex Chase
10. You know, there’s a funny thing about asking a girl to do something until she says yes. It’s a strange phenomenon; you can ask her to come with you five, six, seven times or more, and she’ll still say no. But somewhere around the tenth or twelfth time you ask her, you’ll see this change come across her eyes, like something has just turned inside of her, and she’ll suddenly say, “OK,” then happily come along or do what you’re asking her to. – Sebastian Drake
11. I realized something when listening to what you said to your girl when she asked you why you couldn’t be exclusive. You have a lot of “I”s in there, and hardly any “you”s. “I want this,” “I need that,” “I have to do something else.” When people hear all “I”s they start panicking and think you don’t care about them and aren’t thinking about them or concerned for them. Then they go on the defensive and reject everything you say and fight for their own cause. You should be framing everything you say in how it’s good for HER. Use “you”. “You wouldn’t like me if I became this,” “You need a man who can be that,” etc. You, you, you. – Sebastian Drake
12. What is the thing people are most aware of in a social setting? What’s the thing that everyone is looking for, that everyone is attuned to about who is giving to whom, that everyone is seeking to get more of from people that interest them? Attention. – Mateo (a.k.a. MNX)
13. Finally, you see. You were so caught up in all your things that you never noticed how much your behavior hurt ME. – My Bebita, ex-girlfriend
14. You know, for as positive and encouraging as I try to be to every student I’ve ever had, and I know that you do too, you know, and I know, that the vast, vast majority of guys who take a pickup class are never going to get all that good at it. Most of them just don’t have the motivation, or determination, or stamina to go out night after night and push themselves and take the punches and do the things they need to do to really get good. You’ve seen it; most of these guys just appear, take a class, and disappear, never to be heard from again. They go back to living their normal lives and after the excitement of the class they took dies down, it becomes an afterthought they might reflect back on fondly, but never really take action on again. It’s a very small, elite subset of men who stick in this for the long haul and put the amount of work in they need to put in to get to the point where they can regularly attract and sleep with and have relationships with the kinds of women they really want. – Sebastian Drake
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I’d also like to share with you some of the things *I* feel are the most important parts of seduction and relationship management. Hope some of these are useful too.
1. The World Runs on Investment. Compliance, investment, effort, work – all names for how much someone is putting in to social interactions in general and into his or her interactions with a specific person, specifically. It’s like its own little Matrix that no one is aware of until he starts paying attention to it. We all have these underlying “feelings” – e.g., looking at a guy chilling who effortlessly seems to have women chasing after him, and saying, “That guy looks COOL.” But most of us aren’t consciously aware of how CRUCIAL effort is to ALL social interactions. The best way to begin is by seeking to get girls to put more work in. Then seeking to minimize how much work YOU appear to be putting in (can be actually reduced, or you can just get better at making something seem effortless or like an afterthought). Over time, you’ll develop a very keen awareness of who’s who in the social pecking order simply by paying attention to how much effort they put into all of their interactions. You should be used to giving girls commands, getting them contributing to interactions from the beginning, and getting them committed to spending time with you.
2. The Key to Unreactiveness? Exposure is step one. Beautiful girls make you uncomfortable? You need more exposure to them. That means, you need to get them in your life, and make friends with them, and spend enough time around them that you begin to feel very natural around beautiful women – they stop being unknown, and thus stop being scary. When you meet girls like that going forward, even when they start challenging you, you remain calm and in control and are able to respond in an attractive way – because you understand these girls now, and you realize that what they’re doing / saying is not a big deal. Approaching strangers makes you nervous? Get more exposure to it. It’s important to get exposure to as wide variety of circumstances with women as possible – e.g., approaching 100 beautiful women is not enough to get comfortable around beautiful women. You need to approach them; you need to talk with them; you need to be friends with them; you need to shag them; you need to date them. And that’s the second step – results. You need to get positive results to inspire confidence in your abilities to achieve future results, both to get yourself moving and to get yourself putting that “results are assumed” vibe. It’s a process you really can’t speed up; it just takes time. But if you keep working on bringing beautiful women into your life and doing more and more things with them, you’ll become increasingly at ease, and increasingly unreactive, and find increasing success and results – and thus, become increasingly adept with beautiful women, whether meeting them for the first time, or dealing with relationship drama 10 years into being with a girl.
3. Seek to Get Others to Do the Talking. Personally, I have one of the most interesting, colorful lives and backstories I have ever heard. But even after knowing me for three or four years, there’s still a lot about me most people don’t know, simply because I tend to let other people do most of the talking. Particularly when you’re dealing with confident, accomplished people, you’ll find that EVERYONE loves talking about herself, her life, her past, and her dreams. Not only that, but women LOVE men who are mysteries. When women meet guys who start unloading buckets of details about themselves, those women assume those men are trying to impress them, and are probably telling them the most interesting things about themselves. Thus, intrigue fades, and with it goes much of women’s attraction for those men. But the men who maintain some mystery about themselves… now, those men women wonder about. And think about. And try to fill in the blanks in their heads, then speculate whether they got it right. Interest her in you without revealing too much about yourself, and get her talking openly to you about herself.
4. Push, and Persist. I ate at a diner yesterday, and asked them if they had WiFi. Then I asked them questions about the menu. Often when I’m dining I’ll ask for things that aren’t on the menu, because sometimes restaurants will have them. Did you know the Waterfront bar downtown has calamari steak? It isn’t on the menu. But I get it every time I eat there. Four or five years ago, and I feel kinda silly saying it now, in reflection, but I couldn’t do those kinds of things. It felt too… disruptive… to ask about and push for the things I wanted. I was crap in negotiations, too afraid of coming across like an asshole. Well, just like you should always try to get what you want in negotiations, in restaurants, in any kind of service, so should you always try to get what you want with *women*. Most guys don’t. Even a lot of guys who’ve been in pickup for a long time don’t. You HAVE TO ASK. Better, command. She stands up to leave? “No, sit. Sit for five minutes. Your friends will be fine on the dance floor without you… I promise they won’t get kicked out of the club or anything in the next five minutes. Stay for five minutes; you won’t regret it.” She comes back to your place and starts talking about leaving? “Stop it. You just got here. You have to at least take off your shoes, kick up, and TRY to relax before deciding you’d rather drive all the way back home, climb into bed, and fall asleep. That’s boring. A half hour of chilling won’t throw your bedtime off, trust me.” Pushing will get you results like you wouldn’t believe.
5. Don’t Worry About It. Time to call that BOMB ass chick you met the other night, and you’re knees are all aquiver? Take a walk, set yourself on a mission down the sidewalk to DO something, and call her while you’re on your way. Once your mind is off her, your conversation / voicemail will be ten times as natural and relaxed, and her attraction will be ten times better. After a while, you’ll just be able to lay back on your bed and call girls like this because you’ll just stop worrying about it. You just slept with the most amazing woman of your life, and you’re desperate to know if you can get her into a relationship? Chill. Force yourself to spend your mental energy thinking about other women. The less time you spend on her, the more effectively you’ll combat those creeping feelings of being head-over-heels. Time to approach that super cutie at the bar? Remind yourself that the more women you talk to like her, the better with them you’ll get, and the more often you’ll find girls who look like her that you’ll hit it off with.
6. Ask Girls Home. It doesn’t matter if you have the most amazing routine stack in the world, or the slickest silver tongue this side of South Dakota. If you don’t ask girls to come home with you and sleep with you – whether in the bars and clubs and streets and stores you meet them in, or on the dates you take them on – what’s the point? “Let’s finish our drinks here, and go have a nightcap to end the night.” That’s all you have to say. When she asks where, you tell her, “I know a really good place not far from here – great music, and really cheap drinks.” If she asks if it’s your place, tell her, “You’ll see,” or, “Be patient.” That’s all. Or, you can always just tell her, “I have really interesting ceilings. Wanna see them?” That last was only field tested once, but it worked!
7. Chase Framing – How to Be the Prize. Chase frames are probably the easiest, most effective ways to take the old pickup standby “Be the Prize” and realize it in your own interactions. Most guys say, “I’m the prize,” but it doesn’t really mean shit other than some ephemeral sense of how they’re not going to tolerate bullshit or something. That’s not what being the prize is, though. This is:
Girl: I’m not sure what to order. Do you like meatballs?
Guy: I like *my* meatballs. But you’re not having them here. I don’t know any of these people and I’m not exposing myself in front of them.
Girl: You should try those jeans on.
Guy: No way. You just want to see how my ass will look in tight pants. I’m not falling for that. Use your imagination or something… geez.
Girl: Can you come over and help me with my computer?
Guy: Oh, like I haven’t had that one before. First, I come over, thinking I’m just going to innocently help you fix some problem. Then all of a sudden, your clothes aren’t on anymore, and there are candles lit and seductive music is playing. I wasn’t born yesterday, you know. Fine, I’ll come over… but you better behave yourself. Don’t make me use my karate.
What are you doing there? You’re using humor to suggest that SHE is chasing after YOU. Painting the picture in her head over and over again that she’s the pursuer, and you’re the pursued. That she’s trying to get you. You also paint the idea of her and you doing sexual things together in her head. Over and over. And because she’s laughing and enjoying herself, those memories are also tied to really good feelings, and even when she objects (“Shut up, no I’m not!”), she’s laughing, and it’s not a real objection. Chase framing can have a girl’s panties wet for you so fast it’s a little crazy.
As a bonus, here’s one I stole from A2daMIR (on FastSeduction.com) that I like a lot:
Guy: You must be shy or something.
Girl: I’m not shy! Why do you say that?
Guy: Well, we’ve been talking for a while now, and you still haven’t asked me my name or my phone number.
8. Believe You Can Get It. Whatever “it” may be. One of the watershed moments in my seduction career was when I realized that if I went out on a half-decent night with an OK amount of women out, I could almost certainly find ONE who would come home with me. She might sleep with me when I got her there, she might not, but I could at least GET her there and get to kissing and escalating and maybe sex. Whenever I really wanted. And it wasn’t hard. It wasn’t even that my game made some kind of incredible leap to get to that realization. I still had plenty of women I talked to who had no interest in getting to know me, and plenty of quick conversations that didn’t go anywhere. But I found that that realization changed a lot of things. Suddenly, pickup became much lower pressure – once I knew that all I had to do was meet enough women, and I’d find one I liked who’d go home with me, it suddenly just seemed really straightforward and easy. I had this realization when I pulled three nights in a row in Thailand, and then came back to the States and was able to continue pulling almost any night that I determined to pull. It was like a huge load off my shoulders – all I had to do was keep meeting women, keep assessing them quickly (e.g., moving them soon into an interaction is a HUGE barometer of interest – if she won’t move with you seven to eight minutes in, it’s highly unlikely she’ll go home with you later in the night – so grab her number, and keep meeting new girls until you find one who WILL move with you), and you’ll find one eventually to take home, that night.
9. Get Your Process Down. *Know* the steps you’ll follow. For me, my basic “get laid” plan is:
Go out --> Start meeting women --> Keep moving until you find one you like who’s responding well --> Get her committed fast (move her) --> Throw a chase frame down and get her thinking sexual things about you --> Take her home --> Shag her
My basic interaction process is:
Open --> Playful banter --> “Getting To Know You” questions --> deep rapport, with chase frame humor mixed in --> Interrupt, with reason to move; then move --> Sit close, escalate kino, continue to bond and set the chase frame --> Take her home
Goal is to be into fairly deep rapport about her dreams and hopes and desires and past relationships by about five to ten minutes in. I might move her before then, if we’re bantering really well and I can tell she has strong attraction for me, or I might wait until she’s telling me something deep that I know she needs to get out now, and when she asks me about something deep, I’ll start telling her, then interrupt myself to move us somewhere more intimate. Unless we’re already sitting, in which case I’ll skip that step usually, as it feels a little unnecessary. I’ll just find other ways to get her to invest.
Finally, one more:
Go for the kinds of women YOU want. I see lots of guys in the pickup community who train themselves to be really good at picking up, say, strippers, because it’s kind of a status symbol. But then it turns out that those guys ACTUALLY like a completely different kind of girl. But by the time they got good with strippers (or whatever different kind of girl they trained on), they started alienating their ideal girls.
Fact is, guys who are good with certain kinds of women often sacrifice success with certain other kinds of women. You can always retrain yourself for new kinds of women, and there certainly are aspects of universal value you can improve upon personally that will make you more attractive to ALL women (e.g., being fun, playful, sexy, socially savvy, confident & dominant, relaxed, etc.), but typically, guys who do very well with women tend to be specialized (the generalists just aren’t as successful, usually… to much “Jack of All Trades” and not as much “Ace”)… and the more specialized you get with one kind of girl, the more you lose skill with others.
That said, if you’re a perfectionist, you can always train yourself on different kinds of girls at different times. Once you have, you can pull out your different styles of game… e.g., you know that strippers like super-chill, manly men but who have an interest in mystical things like astrology and precognition; you know that FOB girls from Asia or Europe or Latin America are often a little more shy since they don’t know anyone and don’t understand the language well, and you’ve got to tone your game down a lot; you know that party girls in party mode are looking for ENERGY, and you have to come in with strong banter (or, in some cases, strong intent and a very sexual vibe) that still doesn’t seem entertaining or tryhard, or you instantly get cast into that same no-man’s land that all the other guys trying to entertain the girls looking for entertainment get cast into.
In the end, the more you work at this, the more women you meet and date, and the more you learn from knowledgeable guys, the more adept at game you will become.
It’s been a pleasure, gentlemen; I’ll still be around on my forum on my site at least from time to time, and you can always get in touch with me by email. And of course, drop me a line if you’re coming to Asia.
Be well, Godspeed to you all, and… onwards, to all of our next adventures.
Chase
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If you liked that, there's 13 other posts still viewable on the site, I just finished reading all of them and they're pretty fucking cool.
https://www.girlschase.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=10
