- Joined
- Sep 21, 2016
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This has been a long one coming. One of my early FR's names this woman. She used to date one of my best friends. On him, we had very similar senses of humor and got along well. Eventually he started stealing from people and generally being a fuck. We dissipated. I've journaled about Thing 1 multiple times, if you really care a ctrl(F) won't hurt ya.
Background
Too much to actually consider but she was a good friend of mine. Once she tried to cheat on her BF before college and I had the mind to call her out on it because #brosoverhoes.
Thing 1 had invited me to a monthly concert saying it was tons of fun. When I saw her at the bar about 2 weeks prior we were hitting it off, and before I left her I pulled her into me and spiked her arousal before leaving with my friends. The week after I texted her to find out the date of the shebang, where she told me she had planned on texting me. I threw her a flirty text and said I'd be there.
I start the night out with a couple beers with Tuna & Clam and we reminisce on a few fun parties and stories. When the clock gets ticking I leave them to join Thing 1. Admittedly, I had a kernel of doubt in my head because of Thing 1's texting - she was concise and to the point about location and time.
When I roll up just before midnight she's right at the bar next the entrance. I completely ignore her and order a drink & a water. They charge for water tonight (only bottled - go fuck yourself). As I'm handing the bartender my card I turn to my left and she's sitting there looking at me. I pretend as if I just saw her and embrace her hug. She's wearing quite the outfit.
She introduces me to her friends and I'm friendly, shaking hands and kissing babies. Turns out it's her friends birthday so I promise her a shot later on and suggest we move somewhere else. Another guy she knows at the bar grabs her and I ignore it best I can by talking to her friends (though I took note of it since she was so friendly first glance - I rationalized it wouldn't matter later on).
Slow Pull
I find us a spot and we hang. It's the bday girl, her, and a couple that they're friends with. She's quiet so I befriend the couple to the best of my abilities. I don't plan on seeing them again, but I'll charm them and make them feel like I give a flying fuck. When our conversation dies, I turn to Thing 1 and ask her why she's so timid for wearing such a braggadocious outfit. She gets nervous and explains herself but I reassure her I like it (it's pretty sparkly after all).
A good song comes on and I suggest we all go dance. We dance and I get a little more physical with her, but I'm not feeling the dancing vibe yet so after two song I tell her "we should find a table". She agrees and starts telling everyone around us that's what we're doing. This is compliance, but she's the leader of the group (I mean, technically I provoked the movement, but they know her - not me).
The birthday girl finds us a table and we sit down and chat. I try to charm the couple more but they're not too exciting so I start to focus more on the bday girl & Thing 1. It was a back and forth considering bday girl was stupid drunk already and Thing 1 was being quiet. I decide to quit the superficial shit and ask Thing 1 why she comes here, actually. That yea, the drunk, stupid shit is fun, but since she's such a regular to these events there has to be some other element of it that she likes.
From that moment on whenever we talked it was strong eye contact, and vibes. Very interesting to see. As if I punctured something in her that likes to drain out. Later on I have confirmation bias of this.
So I continue going back and forth between fucked up birthday girl who likes to skii and Thing 1. We eventually head back to the dance floor, but now I'm in more of a conversational mood than a "bleeeeh" one, and I can tell Thing 1 notices. I continue pretending to dance, and grind up on some dude in an eccentric outfit as a joke. He's stupid drunk and we make a tiny scene - it brought a lot more energy to our little posse.
I began to screen for logistics by asking if they have plans after this, and Thing 1 suggests we go to the bar right next to my house. There's a subtle look in her eye as she says this to me that says she's thinking something sexual - perhaps she knows where I live (I fucked her friend last year, but maybe she just likes the bar). "Great idea", I say.
We try to get everyone grouped up and jump into an uber, but the chaos of this place has picked up a lot, it's loud, drunk, and physical. The couple is nowhere to be seen. After 15 minutes of bullshit, I tell Thing 1 to call the uber and that they'll catch up. She complies, and we continue to try to round the gargantuan group of 5 of us up.
Let's Go To The After Party
We get to the bar and I'm pretty drunk at this point. This is one of my favorite bars and I ran into more than a couple people - though Thing 1 is used to this and I don't think about is as potent social proof. At some point, I asked her to talk outside with me and she agrees. I think my excuse was that it was karaoke night and I'd rather talk than hear some dumbass sing (even though the speakers' audio outside is more understandable).
She starts to talk about my old good friend, back when she was dating him. Many months ago he reached out to me (drug addict that said he was afraid to talk to me because I'd try to make him stop - yea people are afraid of change) - and after she finishes her explanation of how pathetic she is I give a light story of my experience with him. I try not to get into too much detail because there was indeed a time that this dude was one of my best friends.
Then I frame us as having moved on from people that hold us back, and qualify her by saying I'm glad she had the courage to embark new journeys. I meant it.
As soon as I finish I look at her deeply and she looks horny as shit.
At this point I know it's fucking, but that I have to keep it cool with the social parameters. I position myself against the pillar we're standing next to and do subtle touches to move her as coming onto me. I grab her waste for a little bit as we speak closely to eachother, but pull off and return to platonic, "friendy" convos because of where we are, and who is there. She's not as well known at this bar than me - but she's been coming for years and the staff knows her. I wonder what the staff thought...
Then the birthday girl is up for karaoke and drunk me decides to be a background dancer. I hated all 30 seconds of my audition and left to stand outside. This HB6.5 Indian girl comes up to me and is speaking about what an exciting life she has. Thing 1 and the birthday girl find me and we all banter. I bring up how my neighbor usually has after parties, and say that "maybe" we could hop to that.
Really interesting thing here. The indian girl - having just met me and seeing a new prospect to escape into is 100% on board, where as the girls I'm already with are clearly happy about the suggestion, yet not insisting we do that quite yet. Perhaps it has to do with experience level as well, but the contrast was very noticeable.
After that it's getting late - we were quite drunk. I knew I had to do something more aggressive though. Birthday girl said that her and Thing 1 were going to the bathroom, and I remain unresponsive. Now isolated, they start to leave and I grab Thing 1's wrist, and tell her that I want to see more of her tonight - and that I know she wants to see more of me.. "or am I wrong?" *cue sexy, mischievous look*.
She leans into me hard and I get a half chub. now holding both her wrists as she smiles at me. "I have a boyfriend..." she says. I keep smiling and say, "yea and [name]'s a great guy.. I just... think that.. we're having a lot of fun tonight...", in the most dripping of sexy way I know possible. She doe eyes - it's fucking ON.
We stare into eachothers' eyes for a sec and then I say, "okay, go ahead to the bathroom, I'm fine", which broke the tension and "I'm fine" is ambiguous as shit.
After Hours
They come back just before the bar closes. I had followed Hector's advice on how to posture at the bar by oneself, which still works amazingly since he taught me. A drunk dude approached me but I remained friendly and noncommittal to conversation. Birthday girl wants to keep partying. Cool
I love plausible deniability.
I explain how I usually just walk to my house at the end of bar close and, what do you know, the after party is there. They agree immediately and we leave the bar. I grab some ass on Thing 1 and treat the birthday girl well as we walk & chat. Against my judgment - no after party tonight... unless it's at my house. I roll with the punches of my neighbors not being there (out of town I later found out) and we pop into my house.
We very quickly finish my alcohol and birthday girl, now full of energy (skiiiiiiii), says she knows where to get beer despite it being past bar close. We all walk (thought somebody was jogging) and get two 6 packs of beer some a very friendly staff for a wednesday night, then go back to my house. I put on music and we talk shit about preferences. Birthday girl gets quiet again, and leaves to smoke a cig.
Romantic Hedonism
When Thing 1 nudges to get up with birthday girl, I very quietly and deeply say, "stay..." and put my hand her leg. She does. We gaze into each other eyes, and she her eyes are dilating by the second as she smiles at me. My instinct says to kiss her.
Right then, she starts to talk about how she has a boyfriend who's out of town and she's not cheating. Normally, I would chase frame. This was different. I ask her if she's had fun tonight we me, and explain that I have too, and that I've been having fun with our company for quite a while. I continually engage her in the mutual resonance of our vibes, and that we've low key always wanted each other. It's different because of our report, but in pick up terms I would say it was a detailed yes ladder. There was also a bit about why I did indeed like her - she's a true rebel, and doesn't give a flying fuck about what other people think about her.
The vibe is so in the air, and our faces are incredibly close - then in walks the birthday girl. We pretend like nothing was going on, and she sits back down with us... still fucked up as shit. I can tell that at this point, Thing 1 is just being a good friend. I ask her if she wants to "see the patio" and smoke a cig outside. Slowly, she agrees.
We smoke a couple puffs and I ask her "so what do you think?" with the sexiest look I can muster, after moving a bit closer to her. She utters, "you're dangerous..." and I move in closer, our bodies lightly rubbing up against each other. I pounce on a passionate kiss and pull off. Seal broken. She gives me the dirtiest look I've ever seen on a girl before, and pounces back at me.
She throws the remaining cig off the patio and we start making out hard. I grab her ass and push my dick into her, slowly moving back to a surface to get her more into it. She slightly slams me on the door behind us and we make out for 10-15s, then I push her off and say something cocky like, "watch yourself" relying mostly on my hushed voice and fundamentals.
I take her hand and lead her inside and continue standing, seeing the birthday girl on the couch. I ask, slightly absurdly, if she as had a "tour of the house" and she happily says, "no! I haven't!". AKA, take me to a disclosed place and let's go.
I show her some bullshit locations that are obviously, visually apparent, and grab her closer and more sexually as I do (the front door, bathroom, closet that no one uses), until moving her into the office. I let her lead the way this time, and slowly nudge her to a corner, where we both immediately throw ourselves at one another. I can smell her wet pussy.
Suddenly, she pulls off. "I need to go." She walks back to her friend and tells her it's time to leave, and she slowly agrees. I sit back down on the couch, looking casual and content as possible as they get up. Birthday girl leaves first so I stand up and grab Thing 1's wrist one last time. I tell her that "the night is young" and she accepts it as "bullshit" despite smiling and looking down. Off they go.
Persistence Meets Outcome Independence
I sit at my house, awake as fuck with the circumstance of [ ] and we decide to regain contact around 4:00 AM
At my house we talk for about 30 seconds before aggressively making out. I'm not going into detail, but imagine having sex with a sexy, feminine, good girl telling you to ravage her one moment, and the next second being attacked by a frenzy of bites, slaps, scratches, and yells as she drives her pussy into your dick. It was.. something.
After fucking 5-6 times we cuddle and stare very deeply into each other, talking about our feelings. She tells me how she can't stop herself from cheating. While she may be a good girlfriend one moment, she can't help herself. That she just "cheats, and cheats, and cheats, and... *we start making out and proceed to fuck*". Honestly... part of me would spend the whole day in her pussy if I could. That animalistic, escapist part of me..
After Thoughts
I didn't text her for 4 days after that experience - but I let her know I enjoyed myself. She doesn't respond. I find out later she snapchatted her BF something around 3-4 AM, with no idea of what it was.
A few days ago she invited me to the same concert - they do it every month. Either this is a tease, or it's her way of showing that while she'll cheat with me, we must remain discreet. Idk.
I know her boyfriend. He's cool... I imagine I wouldn't treat him any differently. It was insightful though. We truly do have conflicting animalistic & rational minds - it's a matter of what prevails. Forgive me for trying to describe the.. vibe of the phenomena in such a concise way. It in no way does the dynamic justice. Perhaps I'll get a better grasp on it later and be able to precisely articulate it.
A part of me says fuck all this drama shit - it was just a fuck. Am I "that guy"? Is she "that girl'? No. I say neither. People exist in this life shit and play pretend all day long. Truth is built of off ideas and feelings that we don't hide from. Rather than ask who are you, look into what you've done - and attempt to remain non-contemplative of societal attachments to what those experiences are. Every action has motivation, and while some priorities are helpful to society as a whole, no one is objectively better or worse for following their path.
What's next?
Hue
Background
Too much to actually consider but she was a good friend of mine. Once she tried to cheat on her BF before college and I had the mind to call her out on it because #brosoverhoes.
Thing 1 had invited me to a monthly concert saying it was tons of fun. When I saw her at the bar about 2 weeks prior we were hitting it off, and before I left her I pulled her into me and spiked her arousal before leaving with my friends. The week after I texted her to find out the date of the shebang, where she told me she had planned on texting me. I threw her a flirty text and said I'd be there.
I start the night out with a couple beers with Tuna & Clam and we reminisce on a few fun parties and stories. When the clock gets ticking I leave them to join Thing 1. Admittedly, I had a kernel of doubt in my head because of Thing 1's texting - she was concise and to the point about location and time.
When I roll up just before midnight she's right at the bar next the entrance. I completely ignore her and order a drink & a water. They charge for water tonight (only bottled - go fuck yourself). As I'm handing the bartender my card I turn to my left and she's sitting there looking at me. I pretend as if I just saw her and embrace her hug. She's wearing quite the outfit.
She introduces me to her friends and I'm friendly, shaking hands and kissing babies. Turns out it's her friends birthday so I promise her a shot later on and suggest we move somewhere else. Another guy she knows at the bar grabs her and I ignore it best I can by talking to her friends (though I took note of it since she was so friendly first glance - I rationalized it wouldn't matter later on).
Slow Pull
I find us a spot and we hang. It's the bday girl, her, and a couple that they're friends with. She's quiet so I befriend the couple to the best of my abilities. I don't plan on seeing them again, but I'll charm them and make them feel like I give a flying fuck. When our conversation dies, I turn to Thing 1 and ask her why she's so timid for wearing such a braggadocious outfit. She gets nervous and explains herself but I reassure her I like it (it's pretty sparkly after all).
A good song comes on and I suggest we all go dance. We dance and I get a little more physical with her, but I'm not feeling the dancing vibe yet so after two song I tell her "we should find a table". She agrees and starts telling everyone around us that's what we're doing. This is compliance, but she's the leader of the group (I mean, technically I provoked the movement, but they know her - not me).
The birthday girl finds us a table and we sit down and chat. I try to charm the couple more but they're not too exciting so I start to focus more on the bday girl & Thing 1. It was a back and forth considering bday girl was stupid drunk already and Thing 1 was being quiet. I decide to quit the superficial shit and ask Thing 1 why she comes here, actually. That yea, the drunk, stupid shit is fun, but since she's such a regular to these events there has to be some other element of it that she likes.
From that moment on whenever we talked it was strong eye contact, and vibes. Very interesting to see. As if I punctured something in her that likes to drain out. Later on I have confirmation bias of this.
So I continue going back and forth between fucked up birthday girl who likes to skii and Thing 1. We eventually head back to the dance floor, but now I'm in more of a conversational mood than a "bleeeeh" one, and I can tell Thing 1 notices. I continue pretending to dance, and grind up on some dude in an eccentric outfit as a joke. He's stupid drunk and we make a tiny scene - it brought a lot more energy to our little posse.
I began to screen for logistics by asking if they have plans after this, and Thing 1 suggests we go to the bar right next to my house. There's a subtle look in her eye as she says this to me that says she's thinking something sexual - perhaps she knows where I live (I fucked her friend last year, but maybe she just likes the bar). "Great idea", I say.
We try to get everyone grouped up and jump into an uber, but the chaos of this place has picked up a lot, it's loud, drunk, and physical. The couple is nowhere to be seen. After 15 minutes of bullshit, I tell Thing 1 to call the uber and that they'll catch up. She complies, and we continue to try to round the gargantuan group of 5 of us up.
Let's Go To The After Party
We get to the bar and I'm pretty drunk at this point. This is one of my favorite bars and I ran into more than a couple people - though Thing 1 is used to this and I don't think about is as potent social proof. At some point, I asked her to talk outside with me and she agrees. I think my excuse was that it was karaoke night and I'd rather talk than hear some dumbass sing (even though the speakers' audio outside is more understandable).
She starts to talk about my old good friend, back when she was dating him. Many months ago he reached out to me (drug addict that said he was afraid to talk to me because I'd try to make him stop - yea people are afraid of change) - and after she finishes her explanation of how pathetic she is I give a light story of my experience with him. I try not to get into too much detail because there was indeed a time that this dude was one of my best friends.
Then I frame us as having moved on from people that hold us back, and qualify her by saying I'm glad she had the courage to embark new journeys. I meant it.
As soon as I finish I look at her deeply and she looks horny as shit.
At this point I know it's fucking, but that I have to keep it cool with the social parameters. I position myself against the pillar we're standing next to and do subtle touches to move her as coming onto me. I grab her waste for a little bit as we speak closely to eachother, but pull off and return to platonic, "friendy" convos because of where we are, and who is there. She's not as well known at this bar than me - but she's been coming for years and the staff knows her. I wonder what the staff thought...
Then the birthday girl is up for karaoke and drunk me decides to be a background dancer. I hated all 30 seconds of my audition and left to stand outside. This HB6.5 Indian girl comes up to me and is speaking about what an exciting life she has. Thing 1 and the birthday girl find me and we all banter. I bring up how my neighbor usually has after parties, and say that "maybe" we could hop to that.
Really interesting thing here. The indian girl - having just met me and seeing a new prospect to escape into is 100% on board, where as the girls I'm already with are clearly happy about the suggestion, yet not insisting we do that quite yet. Perhaps it has to do with experience level as well, but the contrast was very noticeable.
After that it's getting late - we were quite drunk. I knew I had to do something more aggressive though. Birthday girl said that her and Thing 1 were going to the bathroom, and I remain unresponsive. Now isolated, they start to leave and I grab Thing 1's wrist, and tell her that I want to see more of her tonight - and that I know she wants to see more of me.. "or am I wrong?" *cue sexy, mischievous look*.
She leans into me hard and I get a half chub. now holding both her wrists as she smiles at me. "I have a boyfriend..." she says. I keep smiling and say, "yea and [name]'s a great guy.. I just... think that.. we're having a lot of fun tonight...", in the most dripping of sexy way I know possible. She doe eyes - it's fucking ON.
We stare into eachothers' eyes for a sec and then I say, "okay, go ahead to the bathroom, I'm fine", which broke the tension and "I'm fine" is ambiguous as shit.
After Hours
They come back just before the bar closes. I had followed Hector's advice on how to posture at the bar by oneself, which still works amazingly since he taught me. A drunk dude approached me but I remained friendly and noncommittal to conversation. Birthday girl wants to keep partying. Cool
I love plausible deniability.I explain how I usually just walk to my house at the end of bar close and, what do you know, the after party is there. They agree immediately and we leave the bar. I grab some ass on Thing 1 and treat the birthday girl well as we walk & chat. Against my judgment - no after party tonight... unless it's at my house. I roll with the punches of my neighbors not being there (out of town I later found out) and we pop into my house.
We very quickly finish my alcohol and birthday girl, now full of energy (skiiiiiiii), says she knows where to get beer despite it being past bar close. We all walk (thought somebody was jogging) and get two 6 packs of beer some a very friendly staff for a wednesday night, then go back to my house. I put on music and we talk shit about preferences. Birthday girl gets quiet again, and leaves to smoke a cig.
Romantic Hedonism
When Thing 1 nudges to get up with birthday girl, I very quietly and deeply say, "stay..." and put my hand her leg. She does. We gaze into each other eyes, and she her eyes are dilating by the second as she smiles at me. My instinct says to kiss her.
Right then, she starts to talk about how she has a boyfriend who's out of town and she's not cheating. Normally, I would chase frame. This was different. I ask her if she's had fun tonight we me, and explain that I have too, and that I've been having fun with our company for quite a while. I continually engage her in the mutual resonance of our vibes, and that we've low key always wanted each other. It's different because of our report, but in pick up terms I would say it was a detailed yes ladder. There was also a bit about why I did indeed like her - she's a true rebel, and doesn't give a flying fuck about what other people think about her.
The vibe is so in the air, and our faces are incredibly close - then in walks the birthday girl. We pretend like nothing was going on, and she sits back down with us... still fucked up as shit. I can tell that at this point, Thing 1 is just being a good friend. I ask her if she wants to "see the patio" and smoke a cig outside. Slowly, she agrees.
We smoke a couple puffs and I ask her "so what do you think?" with the sexiest look I can muster, after moving a bit closer to her. She utters, "you're dangerous..." and I move in closer, our bodies lightly rubbing up against each other. I pounce on a passionate kiss and pull off. Seal broken. She gives me the dirtiest look I've ever seen on a girl before, and pounces back at me.
She throws the remaining cig off the patio and we start making out hard. I grab her ass and push my dick into her, slowly moving back to a surface to get her more into it. She slightly slams me on the door behind us and we make out for 10-15s, then I push her off and say something cocky like, "watch yourself" relying mostly on my hushed voice and fundamentals.
I take her hand and lead her inside and continue standing, seeing the birthday girl on the couch. I ask, slightly absurdly, if she as had a "tour of the house" and she happily says, "no! I haven't!". AKA, take me to a disclosed place and let's go.
I show her some bullshit locations that are obviously, visually apparent, and grab her closer and more sexually as I do (the front door, bathroom, closet that no one uses), until moving her into the office. I let her lead the way this time, and slowly nudge her to a corner, where we both immediately throw ourselves at one another. I can smell her wet pussy.
Suddenly, she pulls off. "I need to go." She walks back to her friend and tells her it's time to leave, and she slowly agrees. I sit back down on the couch, looking casual and content as possible as they get up. Birthday girl leaves first so I stand up and grab Thing 1's wrist one last time. I tell her that "the night is young" and she accepts it as "bullshit" despite smiling and looking down. Off they go.
Persistence Meets Outcome Independence
I sit at my house, awake as fuck with the circumstance of [
] and we decide to regain contact around 4:00 AMAt my house we talk for about 30 seconds before aggressively making out. I'm not going into detail, but imagine having sex with a sexy, feminine, good girl telling you to ravage her one moment, and the next second being attacked by a frenzy of bites, slaps, scratches, and yells as she drives her pussy into your dick. It was.. something.
After fucking 5-6 times we cuddle and stare very deeply into each other, talking about our feelings. She tells me how she can't stop herself from cheating. While she may be a good girlfriend one moment, she can't help herself. That she just "cheats, and cheats, and cheats, and... *we start making out and proceed to fuck*". Honestly... part of me would spend the whole day in her pussy if I could. That animalistic, escapist part of me..
After Thoughts
I didn't text her for 4 days after that experience - but I let her know I enjoyed myself. She doesn't respond. I find out later she snapchatted her BF something around 3-4 AM, with no idea of what it was.
A few days ago she invited me to the same concert - they do it every month. Either this is a tease, or it's her way of showing that while she'll cheat with me, we must remain discreet. Idk.
I know her boyfriend. He's cool... I imagine I wouldn't treat him any differently. It was insightful though. We truly do have conflicting animalistic & rational minds - it's a matter of what prevails. Forgive me for trying to describe the.. vibe of the phenomena in such a concise way. It in no way does the dynamic justice. Perhaps I'll get a better grasp on it later and be able to precisely articulate it.
A part of me says fuck all this drama shit - it was just a fuck. Am I "that guy"? Is she "that girl'? No. I say neither. People exist in this life shit and play pretend all day long. Truth is built of off ideas and feelings that we don't hide from. Rather than ask who are you, look into what you've done - and attempt to remain non-contemplative of societal attachments to what those experiences are. Every action has motivation, and while some priorities are helpful to society as a whole, no one is objectively better or worse for following their path.
What's next?
Hue
