Hey guys, well I'm 20 in college. And a lot of my friends refer to me as being old. Like they call me "gramps" and even some of my roommates friends (female) who aren't in on the joke calls me "grampa" and in my head I'm like "Grampa? thats not sexy." I'm not really sure how this is affecting my attainability with girls my age because I do find that slightly older women (22-24) are a lot more receptive of me. I'm also really unsure where this notion comes from. Any Idea's on what I might be doing to project this and how to "fix it" ?
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2015
- Messages
- 129
Hey dude ,
You haven't really given exact details on why people see you as older in fact you said you aren't sure why yourself so maybe you should ask? - however long story short it's likely the problem isn't anything to do with you as a person but how you are reacting to being called gramps. This is extremely important.
If you are making big deal about it getting affected by it then people are using it to socially push you around and get the upper hand on you - instead use their own weapon against them and abide by the law of least effort (look up the article on the main site for more detail) next time your friend teases you or says your gramps put your hand on his shoulder look at him and say "look here young man you should learn to respect your elders they are a lot wiser than you smile and walk off" he just got rekt. As soon as you stop giving them the reaction they want (you buying into their frame where you are inferior) then you'll be amazed at how fast gramps disappears from their vocabulary. Obviously this takes a certain amount of social skill to pull off so don't be surprised if you dont deliver your comebacks perfect the first couple times but keep at it and you'll be fine.
The other problems it could be is that you are hanging around the wrong type of people and they dot have the same values as you - Either way you should not let them push you around and being able to handle what they throw at you will ensure they respect you whether you have the same values or not.If you have different values to these people then you should try to meet people who value what you do.
Skid
You haven't really given exact details on why people see you as older in fact you said you aren't sure why yourself so maybe you should ask? - however long story short it's likely the problem isn't anything to do with you as a person but how you are reacting to being called gramps. This is extremely important.
If you are making big deal about it getting affected by it then people are using it to socially push you around and get the upper hand on you - instead use their own weapon against them and abide by the law of least effort (look up the article on the main site for more detail) next time your friend teases you or says your gramps put your hand on his shoulder look at him and say "look here young man you should learn to respect your elders they are a lot wiser than you smile and walk off" he just got rekt. As soon as you stop giving them the reaction they want (you buying into their frame where you are inferior) then you'll be amazed at how fast gramps disappears from their vocabulary. Obviously this takes a certain amount of social skill to pull off so don't be surprised if you dont deliver your comebacks perfect the first couple times but keep at it and you'll be fine.
The other problems it could be is that you are hanging around the wrong type of people and they dot have the same values as you - Either way you should not let them push you around and being able to handle what they throw at you will ensure they respect you whether you have the same values or not.If you have different values to these people then you should try to meet people who value what you do.
Skid
