- Joined
- Jan 4, 2013
- Messages
- 747
I usually don't continue to talk with exes, and I generally don't have best friends that are girls. I have had plenty of female friends in my life, but I never really taken the time or effort to make them my "best friend" (as I prefer doing guy stuff over girl stuff and not talking on the phone for hours about emotions/feelings). Maybe I was too immature when I was younger, or maybe I just wanted to focus more on myself and stuff that I enjoyed and not waste my time on stuff that I didn't.
Anyway, I recently made my ex-girlfriend a close friend of mine, and I feel like I've learned a lot from it and about the different female perspective. We both continued wanting to talk to each other after the breakup, so that's when I decided to put more effort into a close friendship than I would normally do.
I think it's easy to read what others write and nod your head, but I feel like guys learn much better from experience. I think it clicked just by talking with her more.
She's really busy. Just like with my guy friends, I may read a text real quick, want to respond (but can't at the time), and forget to respond later. She says this happens all of the time to her. And as a friend, I've noticed (and I've done it to her as well, since not as invested as a girlfriend), but then I'd just send another text the next day or at a time I know she won't be as busy, and she always responds instantly then. Sometimes, you may just send a text at the wrong time, and it's forgotten about. I guess persistence is key here.
She's of course also very driven by her emotions. Don't misinterpret this as weak or dependent; she is very strong and independent and assertive/bossy actually. But, if she's happy, she'll love you and anyone else. If she's sad, she'll hate everyone. Especially during her period, she will often be silent to everyone (so don't take it personally).
She also told me about this ex-boyfriend recently that sent her a picture of his new car and telling her about his hot new girlfriend and about how she should have married him. This was just really ridiculous to me haha. If he loves his new girlfriend so much, why would he send that to her? I feel bad for the guy in a way. She simply didn't respond at all (she does that really well and probably pissed him off I imagine). If she gets things that she doesn't like or is boring or puts her in a bad mood, she just never responds.
Now, this doesn't mean I take her advice on dating. I've never asked for her advice on dating, and she's never given me any advice, except for one minor incident. I told her about some of my past approaches where I told a girl she was cute and asked her on a date. She said that girls will never say "yes" to that and want to hang out as friends first. I just ignored this of course because I have actual results that prove otherwise.... (FYI, I met her online February-ish 2013, and then we met in person.)
Anyway, it may seem silly and counterproductive, but I think having a female friend as a close friend can be rather beneficial for understanding the different perspective and more about why stuff from GC works (like only texting to set up dates and not to waste time deep-diving or being a comedian). Preferably, I'd say a very cute, straight female friend. I've had bisexual/lesbian female friends, and that's even a different perspective. And, if you get a close friend that is similar to the types of women that you like, you'll get to understand the types of women that you like better
Of course, don't get caught up on this girl, and remember that it is purely platonic, and hell, you can even go shopping with her, but refuse to hold any bags or her purse haha -- just treat her like a normal friend and not one that you put on a pedestal that you do everything for.
Anyway, I recently made my ex-girlfriend a close friend of mine, and I feel like I've learned a lot from it and about the different female perspective. We both continued wanting to talk to each other after the breakup, so that's when I decided to put more effort into a close friendship than I would normally do.
I think it's easy to read what others write and nod your head, but I feel like guys learn much better from experience. I think it clicked just by talking with her more.
She's really busy. Just like with my guy friends, I may read a text real quick, want to respond (but can't at the time), and forget to respond later. She says this happens all of the time to her. And as a friend, I've noticed (and I've done it to her as well, since not as invested as a girlfriend), but then I'd just send another text the next day or at a time I know she won't be as busy, and she always responds instantly then. Sometimes, you may just send a text at the wrong time, and it's forgotten about. I guess persistence is key here.
She's of course also very driven by her emotions. Don't misinterpret this as weak or dependent; she is very strong and independent and assertive/bossy actually. But, if she's happy, she'll love you and anyone else. If she's sad, she'll hate everyone. Especially during her period, she will often be silent to everyone (so don't take it personally).
She also told me about this ex-boyfriend recently that sent her a picture of his new car and telling her about his hot new girlfriend and about how she should have married him. This was just really ridiculous to me haha. If he loves his new girlfriend so much, why would he send that to her? I feel bad for the guy in a way. She simply didn't respond at all (she does that really well and probably pissed him off I imagine). If she gets things that she doesn't like or is boring or puts her in a bad mood, she just never responds.
Now, this doesn't mean I take her advice on dating. I've never asked for her advice on dating, and she's never given me any advice, except for one minor incident. I told her about some of my past approaches where I told a girl she was cute and asked her on a date. She said that girls will never say "yes" to that and want to hang out as friends first. I just ignored this of course because I have actual results that prove otherwise.... (FYI, I met her online February-ish 2013, and then we met in person.)
Anyway, it may seem silly and counterproductive, but I think having a female friend as a close friend can be rather beneficial for understanding the different perspective and more about why stuff from GC works (like only texting to set up dates and not to waste time deep-diving or being a comedian). Preferably, I'd say a very cute, straight female friend. I've had bisexual/lesbian female friends, and that's even a different perspective. And, if you get a close friend that is similar to the types of women that you like, you'll get to understand the types of women that you like better
Of course, don't get caught up on this girl, and remember that it is purely platonic, and hell, you can even go shopping with her, but refuse to hold any bags or her purse haha -- just treat her like a normal friend and not one that you put on a pedestal that you do everything for.