- Joined
- Sep 21, 2016
- Messages
- 1,556
Hey guys.
A recent development in my close social circle had me thinking about some things. With everyone coming back from school for thanksgiving, all the boys tried to get a rendevu going. Unfortunately, one person in our group never branched out after highschool... and things got pretty nasty.
The majority of my dudes joined the same top tier frat at a school next to our hometown. I went to a different school and transferred home 2 years later, but one of us never did shit. He didn't join any clubs, make many new friends, attempt to get girls, or really try anything new.
I've gone out on a limb for this dude trying to motivate him to get himself out there, but he just fucking won't. He thinks he's betraying his identity by opening up to new things. It had already been getting to the point of distancing myself, but after our friends get together (dominated by his pessimistic critique of everybody and a huge argument with one of the dudes in the fraternity), I really don't see much reason to waste time and energy trying to help him other than a moral obligation. At his best, he's one of my only close friends who has also abandoned the hierarchy mindset, and he's an intellectual, I enjoy our discussions on many different topics.
At his worst, he's severely depressed (I fully understand this is not his fault), a drug addict, self righteous, narcissistic, pessimistic, and a liability. Writing these things about someone I care about sucks, but they're ultimately often true.
Overall, logic tells me he's holding me back, a realization that most my friends once joining their frat also have had, hierarchy in mind or not.
Moral obligation and fear tell me continuing to distance myself could result in him isolating even further, and perpetuate his situation.
Any advice on dealing with these types of relationships would be much appreciated.
Hueman
A recent development in my close social circle had me thinking about some things. With everyone coming back from school for thanksgiving, all the boys tried to get a rendevu going. Unfortunately, one person in our group never branched out after highschool... and things got pretty nasty.
The majority of my dudes joined the same top tier frat at a school next to our hometown. I went to a different school and transferred home 2 years later, but one of us never did shit. He didn't join any clubs, make many new friends, attempt to get girls, or really try anything new.
I've gone out on a limb for this dude trying to motivate him to get himself out there, but he just fucking won't. He thinks he's betraying his identity by opening up to new things. It had already been getting to the point of distancing myself, but after our friends get together (dominated by his pessimistic critique of everybody and a huge argument with one of the dudes in the fraternity), I really don't see much reason to waste time and energy trying to help him other than a moral obligation. At his best, he's one of my only close friends who has also abandoned the hierarchy mindset, and he's an intellectual, I enjoy our discussions on many different topics.
At his worst, he's severely depressed (I fully understand this is not his fault), a drug addict, self righteous, narcissistic, pessimistic, and a liability. Writing these things about someone I care about sucks, but they're ultimately often true.
Overall, logic tells me he's holding me back, a realization that most my friends once joining their frat also have had, hierarchy in mind or not.
Moral obligation and fear tell me continuing to distance myself could result in him isolating even further, and perpetuate his situation.
Any advice on dealing with these types of relationships would be much appreciated.
Hueman
