Clouds suddenly blotting out sunshine

[Marty]

Here's something odd that happened to me twice in succession today, and has happened many times in the past as well, during daytime cold approach.

Essentially, it goes something like this. I receive a very clear approach invitation, and/or am received with smiles and apparent delight upon opening ("Yes!!"/"Hel-LO!"/"Take a seat!"), and going direct elicits an abashed giggle.

Then about 10 seconds into conversation, a disappointed look covers the girl's face. Within a few minutes she's getting bored and fidgety, and when I go for the close and suggest a date, I am "denied boarding". I walk off in bewilderment.

The fact that this procedure is repeated quite frequently in almost identical detail suggests that I can learn something from the experience. But I don't know what.

Can anyone explain to me what is happening here?

 

[Zoro]

I receive a very clear approach invitation, and/or am received with smiles and apparent delight upon opening ("Yes!!"/"Hel-LO!"/"Take a seat!"), and going direct elicits an abashed giggle.

Then about 10 seconds into conversation, a disappointed look covers the girl's face. Within a few minutes she's getting bored and fidgety, and when I go for the close and suggest a date, I am "denied boarding". I walk off in bewilderment.?

Sounds like you are missing windowsssssssssssssss to move things along.

If she digs you that much right off the bat, she may be bored with JUST conversation. You were confident enough to approach her and piqued her interest, Who's this man?" And then after normal conversation, "oh, just a normal guy."

Take her hand and say, "come on "

 

[Casanovelis]

Haha I thought you were going to say that every time you approach a girl the clouds block the sunshine out.

I was going to recommend a sacrifice.

 

[Estate]

Its hard to say exactly Marty but maybe you could try move things along faster... like don't stick around trying to be cute and funny. If you go direct, just give it 1-2 mintues, get the number and see if you get better responses from this.

I think guys in the PU community look at a day approach much differently from how the woman sees it. A lot of the time in the day, a woman may look your way if she sees something she likes, she might smile or say hello if she's just a friendly person. Even if you get an "invitation", to the woman, they are often just being shyly flirtatious... because she knows she can, and the guy will never actually approach... but YOU DO!! (Hurray!).

But it'll catch her off guard a little. It'll seem like something out of a movie. Handsome stranger actually stops and asks her out. I don't know how your interactions go but I feel like if you go direct then you just need to get the details. The more you "chit chat" and reality sets in, it feels less like that movie scene to her and more like, just some dude on the street, so you need to keep that vibe up of how cool and spontaneous you were when you saw her... leave some mystery.

9/10 when girls give "signs" on the street or the subway or whatever, the doesn't expect the guy will actually approach. So she's still a little taken aback when someone does. From the girls perspective, it's still a little random, but maybe exciting if she already saw something she liked. For "PUA" guy, it sometimes sounds like they are wondering "Hey, I told this girl on the street she's sexy, why are her panties not already on the sidewalk?"... I'm not saying you're taking it that far, but in general PU circles I do see that attitude and it's just totally outside the reality of the girl as you approach her.

 

[Marty]

You were confident enough to approach her and piqued her interest, Who's this man?" And then after normal conversation, "oh, just a normal guy."

Take her hand and say, "come on "

Good point, J Wick. Easy for me to accept; tougher to put into practice. But I'll try!

"Hey, I told this girl on the street she's sexy, why are her panties not already on the sidewalk?"...

Hahaha a GREAT image for me to have in mind next time I'm at risk of this happening—thank you!

Even if you get an "invitation", to the woman, they are often just being shyly flirtatious... because she knows she can, and the guy will never actually approach... but YOU DO!! (Hurray!).

But it'll catch her off guard a little. It'll seem like something out of a movie. Handsome stranger actually stops and asks her out.

Okay, I get it, Estate. You're saying I need to capitalize on that fantastic start, not let things get stale and out-of-hand and start boring her to tears. Let me work on this—I feel as if I have a limiting belief that I'm obligated to conduct chit-chat where in fact I might be able to move things smartly forward...

Haha I thought you were going to say that every time you approach a girl the clouds block the sunshine out.

I was going to recommend a sacrifice.

LOL!

My point was that you can actually see the change come over her face. All sunshine and smiles, and then suddenly storm clouds are brewing. Like when you're at the seaside and it blows up off of the ocean.

Glad to say I've never reduced a girl to April showers, though

-Marty