- Joined
- Nov 10, 2020
- Messages
- 12
Hi guys!
I guess this is a more of a question of attraction factors but texting is, obviously, tied to it.
Let me break down what happened.
There is a bar where I am doing stand-up comedy and a cute waitress works there. I chatted a couple of times casually with her already, cracking a joke every now and then. I never see her outside of work. Couple of nights ago i came to the bar and we chatted. I asked her some normal questions about herself (her studies, books she reads, blah, blah). Note: it's a small bar with a relaxed atmosphere so there is no rush and me trying to distract her from work. She never cut our conversation short to get rid of me while she was working and when she had to serve other people, she would continue our previous thread of conversation.
Now, i thought about passing her a note: "Hey, i think you're a cool girl. We should have a drink sometimes." I still thought it was maybe too direct, didn't want other patrons to see what i was doing and her feeling awkward.
Was it a mistake that i didn't pull the trigger there?
Anyway, the next morning i find her on Facebook and add her as a friend. She accepts it.
Here is a transcript of our messages:
Me: Hey (Lets call her Bookgirl).
Me: How was the after party after closing times? Was there any dancing on the tables and broken glasses?
(the bartenders like to have a private party after they close the bar).
Bookgirl: We were cleaning the bar for a long time but we are used to it by now hahah.
Me: It seems to me from your stories that your colleague Brian likes to party more and you like tidying up the place :0
Me: Are you already back at work or are you home? (She is studying during day and working at the bar in the evening.)
No answer. In hindsight it was a weird question, like i'm keeping tabs where she is.
4 hours later i acknowledge that:
Me: Ok, i admit, that last message was a little weird. Mea culpa (Probably shouldn't have sent her that)
Me: I'll get to the point: You look like a cool girl and i would like to get to know you better. We should have a drink one day and hang out. What do you think?
That was on a Saturday night, around 9.50 pm.
Next morning, around 6 am, she sends: I'm not interested but thanks
Now, I was pretty certain she was attracted to me, but it is possible that i mistook her friendliness as a sign of interest. (And i mean "friendliness" as a person, not a waitress trying to get tips.)
I don't think one weird message would tank all of her attraction for me (if it was there in the first place.)
If i had to guess, i rushed it too fast with texting and sounded desperate.
My question: Is it just a bad idea to ask her out over text (if you didn't really get her attracted to you in person) and should i have done it at the bar (though not sure how exactly)?
Any thoughts and critiques, especially from experienced guys, would be appreciated.
I guess this is a more of a question of attraction factors but texting is, obviously, tied to it.
Let me break down what happened.
There is a bar where I am doing stand-up comedy and a cute waitress works there. I chatted a couple of times casually with her already, cracking a joke every now and then. I never see her outside of work. Couple of nights ago i came to the bar and we chatted. I asked her some normal questions about herself (her studies, books she reads, blah, blah). Note: it's a small bar with a relaxed atmosphere so there is no rush and me trying to distract her from work. She never cut our conversation short to get rid of me while she was working and when she had to serve other people, she would continue our previous thread of conversation.
Now, i thought about passing her a note: "Hey, i think you're a cool girl. We should have a drink sometimes." I still thought it was maybe too direct, didn't want other patrons to see what i was doing and her feeling awkward.
Was it a mistake that i didn't pull the trigger there?
Anyway, the next morning i find her on Facebook and add her as a friend. She accepts it.
Here is a transcript of our messages:
Me: Hey (Lets call her Bookgirl).
Me: How was the after party after closing times? Was there any dancing on the tables and broken glasses?
(the bartenders like to have a private party after they close the bar).Bookgirl: We were cleaning the bar for a long time but we are used to it by now hahah.
Me: It seems to me from your stories that your colleague Brian likes to party more and you like tidying up the place :0
Me: Are you already back at work or are you home? (She is studying during day and working at the bar in the evening.)
No answer. In hindsight it was a weird question, like i'm keeping tabs where she is.
4 hours later i acknowledge that:
Me: Ok, i admit, that last message was a little weird. Mea culpa
(Probably shouldn't have sent her that)Me: I'll get to the point: You look like a cool girl and i would like to get to know you better. We should have a drink one day and hang out. What do you think?
That was on a Saturday night, around 9.50 pm.
Next morning, around 6 am, she sends: I'm not interested but thanks
Now, I was pretty certain she was attracted to me, but it is possible that i mistook her friendliness as a sign of interest. (And i mean "friendliness" as a person, not a waitress trying to get tips.)
I don't think one weird message would tank all of her attraction for me (if it was there in the first place.)
If i had to guess, i rushed it too fast with texting and sounded desperate.
My question: Is it just a bad idea to ask her out over text (if you didn't really get her attracted to you in person) and should i have done it at the bar (though not sure how exactly)?
Any thoughts and critiques, especially from experienced guys, would be appreciated.
