CollegeFreshman's Newbie Assignment

[thedude]

Hi all,

As my name suggests I am indeed a freshman in college and since first semester is almost over I will be heading home soon. While home I intend to complete Chase's newbie assignment through and through.

A little bit about myself, I never dated throughout high school. I did not really care about girls that much and was not a concern of mine when I decided to attend an all boy's Catholic school. However by junior year I realized "O shit" I kind of want to get laid. However the ditch I had dug myself was to deep and I could not crawl my way out of it before the end of senior year. Now I suppose I am not a basket case, since arriving at college I knocked making out with a girl for the first time around the 2nd week mark. But this in turn led to a whole lot of hard lessons since that girl lived on the same floor as me in my dorm and I thought she was god damn gorgeous. Due to being inexperienced and stupid I made so many mistakes and was awkward and just god damn bad. So I learned a hard lesson at the beginning of the year. I found this blog about midway through the semester and I have been an avid reader since. But I still need to do some sort of training and compile a master list of things that I can refer to before I go out.

So this is my journal thread, maybe a week or 2 after Christmas I will start making posts and completing each assignment so stay tuned.

 

[The Tool]

Glad to see you will be tackleing the newbie assignment collegefreshman. I look forward to reading about your progress.

 

[thedude]

Day 1: Observation

Today I decided to go to the mall with my friend and just have a look around. The mall we went to is Paramus park, more a family oriented mall but still some girls. However the main mall that I know will be much better is garden state. Where I used to hang out with friends and see a movie. However it is a longer drive than Paramus but it will be much more worth it. As for other two venues that I could use, there is not really one. I believe there is a Barnes and Noble with a Starbucks inside on the way to Garden state but not a lot of people go there so maybe sometimes I will stop by.

So that is my first day, nothing special really, stay tuned for more interesting reports.

Cheers,
CollegeFreshman

 

[thedude]

Day 2: Posture

Well I decided to take a drive to the what I think is the more popular malls near me, the Garden State Plaza. Packed to the brim and a pain in the ass to get into but I finally made my way to a parking spot way out of the way.

So today I had to observe how other people walk and also improve my own walk and see how other people react to me. From the get go as I walked with my shoulders back, chest out and chin up, I noticed people moved out of the way for me. I mean I do have some high since I am about 5:11 so that certainly helps but I had never experienced this before. While doing this I also looked at some other people, some who had there heads down did look miserable while this one guy really had some cool walk to him.

I suppose some other things to note that I did notice that I had to stop myself from moving too much out of the way for people. I guess old habits die hard but I did do pretty well and have been trying to walk with good posture at all times of the day.

That is about it for now, I will go back to the mall and try and make eye contact with people tomorrow, something that I think will be more of a challenge.

 

[thedude]

Day 3: Eye Contact

Over a period of a couple days I went out and made eye contact with many different people.

Now onto the different examples. I looked at all sort of people. Old, middle aged and then people who were my age. When doing this I try and keep a somewhat neutral/friendly expression however I know for a fact that my usual normal neutral expression generally makes me look like I am angry or annoyed and it is hard to change it.

The first eye contact I made was with some guy in the middle of his group of friends at the mall. We made eye contact and almost immediately I averted my eyes to the side. I guess that was my coward reflex and was kicking myself afterwards for it.

The rest of the time was with normal people, generally older. Most averted their eyes when I made eye contact. Some held it and I smiled at them but overall I felt nothing and was decently comfortable doing this.

Now we go to the two times I made eye contact with attractive girls. Both these times I felt some sort of thing in my chest. A dropping feeling, nervousness or anxiety is my best guess. I maintained my cool on my face and smiled but I did feel the anxiety.

Conclusion: I am fine with making eye contact with most people however where it counts with girls I am still nervous and I am going to continue working on that to the point where I never feel anxiety in my chest. I realize how important eye contact and will continue to practice as well.

 

[thedude]

Objective 4: Saying Hi

I was supposed to say hi to about six girls while going out.

Unfortunately by the end of my outing I only mustered the guts to utter that single word twice. For about an hour and a half I walked around the mall seeing lots of girls. But I just could not say hello. Some were in groups and others looked too young(probably were, high schoolers hang out here).

Since I only had to say hi I tried dong it while walking to someone who was passing by me. The first time I said hi, I said it loud enough but after that it was over in an instant since were both walking. I only saw her look at me and that was it. The second girl I "tried" to say hi to. But I did not say it loud enough, it was not a whisper but still she did not hear me and that was a complete failure.

I am unsure on what to do next. I am thinking that I will move on to asking How's your day going. It seems more natural to me and I think it will be easier. I will probably do it while shopping in different stores, I see a pretty girl and go ask her that. This is the beginning of the part where I pussy out a lot unfortunately and it is going to be a painful ordeal. Hope I can do what needs to be done next time I go out.

Thanks,
College Freshman

 

[thedude]

Objective 5: Hi, How's your day going?

So I have been taking every opportunity I have to ask this question to girls I have never met or know but generally never talk to.

#1- Was someone behind the counter of the bakery right next to my job. After I ordered my cheesecake to the one girl I turned to the one next to her who had nothing to do. Was about to ask her but she beat me to it. After that I asked her the same, and then how her job was. I could of handled this better and the conversation did not go far.Failure on my part and off I was with my dessert.

#2- Daughter of a guy at work who I have known for a good long time. Never really talk to her before, maybe had been introduced ages ago but for the most part barely know her. So I ask her the question, get into some small talk about college and other crap. Then we have to get back to work.

#3- This is when I went to Harmons(cosmetics store) for shaving supplies since my neck right now is a god damn mess due to razor burn. I was entirely focused on looking at each product and determining which product would save my neck. When I had just about finished gathering my supplies I took more notice of her, she had been stacking shaving creams for a while now that I thought about it. So I ask her the question and here now is my best recollection the conversation.

ME: So how's your day been?
her: It's been good, you?
Me: eh its been alright(before I can say more she says..)
her: just alright?
Me: Well it would be better if my neck was not so damn red(said with a smile, I think/hope)
her: well you know we have like stuff for...
Me: (shows my hand full of stuff)- Ya I got my little supply kit right here( said something along these lines)
Me: So hows the work day been?
her: its been ok
Me: you work a lot of hours?
her: about 4 times a week
Me: so almost full time? not bad
her: where do you work?
Me: I work at a factory full time
her: ah I see
Me: Ya loads of fun, but gotta do it since college is expensive
Her: ya, where do you go to college?
Me: Binghamton, You?
Her: I go to Bergen Community
Me: Ah thats smart, good value. My high school teacher always said that big name colleges have done a good job of making community colleges look bad.( me yapping to much)
Her: ya something about community college being good
Me: So whats your major?
Her: Im undecided
Me: ah well a lot of people are like that so its alright
Her: you?
Me: Im just a boring accounting major
Her: (chuckle) my cousin is actually an accountent.
Me: Does he like it?
Her: not really (chuckle) but he likes the money
Me: hah I think I might be the same way, the money sure is good and all
Me: I might become a corporate drone though(lame ass joke....... fuck)
her: heh
Me: Im Brandon by the Way
Her: Im BLANK ( Her name went in one ear and out the other, like holy crap I try and remember her name 3 seconds later and I cannot. Really bad man)
Me: Well it was nice meeting you, cya around(said with a sexy smile hopefully?)
Her: Cya

Then I go and check out my equipment in which I will do battle with razor burn. That is all I have for now, I may just move onto asking girls if they are single, have not decided yet. More to come later.

 

[thedude]

Objective 6: Ask are you single?

Well I am amazed that I managed to pull this one off in the end. Although it did take a lot of walking to finally have the courage to say to some random girl "Hi are you single?"

After walking for a while at the mall missing many opportunities to talk to girls who were just walking by themselves I finally forced myself to to do it.

The first was in the Gap when I was trying on smaller fitting closes so as to update my style and what not. I came out of the dressing room and some asian girls and her mother were looking at clothes. The mother walks a decent ways away and I take the opening and say it to her. She says yes I then say "Hi Im CollegeFreshman" and she says "(chuckle) no thank you"

So that was the first one, the rest were just to girls I was about to walk by. All three of them said no to me, the 2nd one asked why as she kept walking and I said just curious. All in all it was not horrible. I did not feel like a piece of crap after getting rejected each time, kind of laughed a little.

But despite this I know the future will be still hard, I suppose I will stick to making small talk in stores or try to do so. Girls seems to be more receptive when they are looking at closes but I know it will be an undertaking getting myself to just say hi despite these advances. So I hope I can continue to do what needs to be done in the future.

Thanks for reading

 

[PinotNoir]

Objective 6: Ask are you single?

Well I am amazed that I managed to pull this one off in the end. Although it did take a lot of walking to finally have the courage to say to some random girl "Hi are you single?"

After walking for a while at the mall missing many opportunities to talk to girls who were just walking by themselves I finally forced myself to to do it.

The first was in the Gap when I was trying on smaller fitting closes so as to update my style and what not. I came out of the dressing room and some asian girls and her mother were looking at clothes. The mother walks a decent ways away and I take the opening and say it to her. She says yes I then say "Hi Im CollegeFreshman" and she says "(chuckle) no thank you"

So that was the first one, the rest were just to girls I was about to walk by. All three of them said no to me, the 2nd one asked why as she kept walking and I said just curious. All in all it was not horrible. I did not feel like a piece of crap after getting rejected each time, kind of laughed a little.

But despite this I know the future will be still hard, I suppose I will stick to making small talk in stores or try to do so. Girls seems to be more receptive when they are looking at closes but I know it will be an undertaking getting myself to just say hi despite these advances. So I hope I can continue to do what needs to be done in the future.

Thanks for reading

Dude, fucking congrats man! It takes balls of steel asking this question.

I plan on doing it soon in my newbie assignment. Work has just been really hectic for me lately. I'm going out tomorrow though...

As for the girl that said "no thank you", I would have been like "no thank you? I didn't ask you out, just wondering if you're single." She would probably think I'm a dick for saying that though lol. I think now you should transition to direct/indirect openers and/or boyfriend frame tactics.

 

[thedude]

Don't applaud me yet. I went out to try the indirect/direct stuff and failed miserably. Just could not push myself to do it.

After around an hour of walking around I just left and went to the cigar store to kick start my new lifespan decreasing hobby.

I suppose a run down of what happened.... So many pairs of girls walking around, in my last objective I only asked girls who were alone if they were single. Furthermore I saw a couple of girls who were alone but having to say this new stuff is just harder as well. The fear of humiliating myself today was just to great would be a good way to put it, especially where there are more than one girls.

I am going to go and try again tomorrow and hopefully I will be able to pull it off..... I am running out of time though, I leave for college on the 24th and I cannot do this trial and error stuff over there where it counts...

Another post will come out tomorrow...

 

[thedude]

Well I was still unable to complete it....

Walking up to girls who are walking as well and going somewhere seems to unnatural to me. I tried once but never got past "are you single?". So for my final three days at home I going to go out to the mall and try my hardest however I will change my strategy a tad. I am going to try and hang out in stores as much as possible and only as a last resort start walking up to other people outside of stores. It seems easier to me if I talk to a girl who is occupied with shopping then one who is walking through the mall. Even if that girl has a friend with her.

Also some stuff that happened on Saturday, I could not go to the mall because I went to another electronic concert in NYC at Webster Hall. On my way to meet up with friends, while on the subway I was standing next to a cute girl, probably much older than me as well. Anyway after a couple of stops of thinking about talking to her I finally grow a pair and say "so how's your day been?" She replies in a tone of voice that I can only describe as one that says " why are you talking to me". She says " it was good, you?" I say fine and shut up and look the other way immediately.

Tried dancing with someone at the concert, asked her and she said no. Did not try anything else for the rest of it.. Even though I should of since this other girl was dancing next to me for a decent amount of time. I thought she was ugly at first look but I got a better angle later but by then it was too late...

I know that not all women show there interest like I would prefer them too, so this reflex of mine to immediately shut down after what I perceive as negativity needs to stop, but I suppose that is for another time.

Lets see how today goes...

 

[thedude]

Objective 8: Tell a girl directly that she is cute

Well although I was supposed to say this line to a bunch of girls, in the end I only managed to say it to one person but o well, a success anyway since this is the first time I have ever said that directly to a girl so explicitly.

To describe how it went, after work I went to the local bakery. Now the thing about this bakery is around the time I get out of work the cute girls from high school or wherever are on their shifts. So I thought I would finally take advantage and since I was leaving Thursday, I would not have to deal with awkardness if I wanted to go back the next day. So I go in, decide that I am going to say it to one of the cashiers.

I do not know how long I walked around that store but it was a while..... My thought process resembled this " go and do it, you gotta do it, tomorrow you leave and this is the last chance to do this objective". I always get shit done when the clock is ticking. I probably would of lingered longer too if not for the fact that I needed to get a haircut and then pack my shit for college and blah blah so I finally said fuck it and decided to get it over with.

I waited till nobody but the two cashiers were there, picked up a bag of one day old rolls which cost a dollar(I am cheap). I went up to the one I found to be more attractive and went through usual spiel for buying something. Then I popped the are you single question, she said no... I said "well I thought you were cute so I was curious". She says thanks with a smile spreading across her face and I say bye. As I walk out I hear her and the other fat cashier laughing.

To describe my feelings at that moment.. well, I was smiling and not like I was forcing myself to, like I was not purposefully smiling to make it seem like them laughing was nothing. I was genuinely smiling. I guess the reason being I had jumped another hurdle, done something that I never had the balls to do before.

Unfortunately I will not be able to complete the rest of the assignment, I leave for college today and as I write this at 1:24 am I am pleased to say that this has improved me for the better. The posture has made a big difference and I have also updated my fashion considerably throughout the assignment. Concerning the last two objectives, phone numbers I can judge pretty well when to get, banter could use some work but I think I can work through it and deep diving I started it implement when I first read the article on the blog. Now that I can approach women for the most part I will work hard on banter though and approach and all that since I am by know means satisfactory yet.

I wish I had found this site sooner, maybe I would of been able to accomplish more than just making out at college for my first semester. I am actually going to make another thread after I submit this post asking for advice on what course of action should I take concerning girls from first semester. I actually managed to get two numbers in first semester however because of my stupidity,timidness and just ignorance I did not how to go about making use of them.

So as a final post on this thread I want to thank you Chase, Franco and whoever else for the blog that started to help me change and also this fantastic forum which is now facilitating that change. Like my father described himself when he was younger, you could say that I am "hungry" for success... in all the things I do, especially women and I know without a shadow of a doubt this transformation would be much slower,more painful and depression filled if I had not discovered this site and its guidance.

 

[Garrett]

Hey Collegefreshman,

I just read through your posts, congrats man! Eh, maybe things didn't turn out the way you'd hoped but to the guys who have never done this, it's quite an impressive feat! Not many guys are able to muster up the courage to approach a girl on their own!

Excellent work man, don't give up!

Cheers,
Garrett

 

[Chase]

So as a final post on this thread I want to thank you Chase, Franco and whoever else for the blog that started to help me change and also this fantastic forum which is now facilitating that change. Like my father described himself when he was younger, you could say that I am "hungry" for success... in all the things I do, especially women and I know without a shadow of a doubt this transformation would be much slower,more painful and depression filled if I had not discovered this site and its guidance.

Great to hear it, CF. Here's hoping the lessons and takeaways here help you go in sharper to a new next semester of good grades and gorgeous girls

Chase