Coming Back from a Specific Situation of Buyers Remorse?

[Harlow]

I've had this specific situation happen to me so many times, and in all in the research I've done I still can't fully comprehend why. I believe it is buyers remorse, but all the threads I've seen about coming back from it are from when you fully sleep with her.

Basically:

1. Have a first date (meet on a dating app)
2. It goes super well, we go back to my place
3. We do anything from light kissing to oral, but not full sex
4. Next day, things seem fine and they seem interested in seeing me again.
5. Get ghosted or "I'm not feeling a connection, not in a place for dating someone, etc"

I know escalating fully would probably help me avoid this, but I'm either extremely cautious of not trying to make my date uncomfortable, or just am wrapped up in the moment and can't tactfully think of what next steps to take.

Any help would be appreciated, this just happened again from a date I had Monday night. I just can't understand how she could go from being fully naked on my bed one night to not responding a couple days later! Maybe I am just frustrated, I've lost a few women I really liked from this.

 

[REM050]

Harlow, I think you are giving your own answer already. You need to escalate more. If a girl comes home with you, especially after a date from an app, she wants sex. If you don't give her that she will feel rejected. (Women settle for lesser forms of sex to avoid the real thing sometimes to not hurt your feelings when they enjoy your company but aren't sure if they want it yet, so they think you are doing the same to them.)

Escalate more. You can always go back a step if it gets uncomfortable, but if she is butt naked in your bed she wants it and anything less is not going to be satisfactory to her. I've had the same thing happen to me in the past and I can tell those girls were really really into me, but not having sex ruined everything. So, next time you excite her to the point of oral and a dripping pussy, ask her 'would you like to feel me inside of you' if you really want to be sure and just go for it. Twice preferably. Five times is even better. They love it, especially if you do a great job - which you should.

Good luck and cheers!

 

[Prodigy]

Yeah man I agree with you also he should read the article about successful physical escalation by chase honestly it's the solution to his problem.Here

Harlow, I think you are giving your own answer already. You need to escalate more. If a girl comes home with you, especially after a date from an app, she wants sex. If you don't give her that she will feel rejected. (Women settle for lesser forms of sex to avoid the real thing sometimes to not hurt your feelings when they enjoy your company but aren't sure if they want it yet, so they think you are doing the same to them.)

Escalate more. You can always go back a step if it gets uncomfortable, but if she is butt naked in your bed she wants it and anything less is not going to be satisfactory to her. I've had the same thing happen to me in the past and I can tell those girls were really really into me, but not having sex ruined everything. So, next time you excite her to the point of oral and a dripping pussy, ask her 'would you like to feel me inside of you' if you really want to be sure and just go for it. Twice preferably. Five times is even better. They love it, especially if you do a great job - which you should.

Harlow, I think you are giving your own answer already. You need to escalate more. If a girl comes home with you, especially after a date from an app, she wants sex. If you don't give her that she will feel rejected. (Women settle for lesser forms of sex to avoid the real thing sometimes to not hurt your feelings when they enjoy your company but aren't sure if they want it yet, so they think you are doing the same to them.)

Escalate more. You can always go back a step if it gets uncomfortable, but if she is butt naked in your bed she wants it and anything less is not going to be satisfactory to her. I've had the same thing happen to me in the past and I can tell those girls were really really into me, but not having sex ruined everything. So, next time you excite her to the point of oral and a dripping pussy, ask her 'would you like to feel me inside of you' if you really want to be sure and just go for it. Twice preferably. Five times is even better. They love it, especially if you do a great job - which you should.

Good luck and cheers

 

[Harlow]

not having sex ruined everything.

Truer words have never been spoken. It seems so counterintuitive but I think that is my sticking point.

(Women settle for lesser forms of sex to avoid the real thing sometimes to not hurt your feelings when they enjoy your company but aren't sure if they want it yet, so they think you are doing the same to them.)

Ok this makes a lot of sense and really
explains things. I also think that she feels slutty for going that far with me, but if we had had sex it would be better justified.

She could have thought “ok there was a real connection that’s why we had sex” but since we didn’t and did not form that emotion bond (that women feel when she has sex), she see me and feels bad about herself. Hence the coldness.
Definitely going to work on my escalation cause this has happened more times than I can count.

 

[Harlow]

Harlow, I think you are giving your own answer already. You need to escalate more. If a girl comes home with you, especially after a date from an app, she wants sex. If you don't give her that she will feel rejected. (Women settle for lesser forms of sex to avoid the real thing sometimes to not hurt your feelings when they enjoy your company but aren't sure if they want it yet, so they think you are doing the same to them.)

Escalate more. You can always go back a step if it gets uncomfortable, but if she is butt naked in your bed she wants it and anything less is not going to be satisfactory to her. I've had the same thing happen to me in the past and I can tell those girls were really really into me, but not having sex ruined everything. So, next time you excite her to the point of oral and a dripping pussy, ask her 'would you like to feel me inside of you' if you really want to be sure and just go for it. Twice preferably. Five times is even better. They love it, especially if you do a great job - which you should.

Good luck and cheers!

Any idea if it is fixable after this point?
and thanks man!

 

[Harlow]

Yeah man I agree with you also he should read the article about successful physical escalation by chase honestly it's the solution to his problem.Here

I checked out the article and really wish I had read that beforehand. Thanks!

 

[Prodigy]

Any idea if it is fixable after this point?
and thanks man!

Also look at the second date ideas article from Chase but honestly man those situations are tough to reverse in my experience once a Hun comes over and you don't have sex it's gonna be hard to get her over again but good luck

 

[Harlow]

Yeah basically all the info I can find says it’s a lost cause, unless I can invite her out to show preselection. Not feasible at this moment so oh well.

I’ll just send her a text in a couple weeks to see if I can finess anything. But I’m mainly just chalking it up to a learning experience.

 

[TomInHo]

Yeah basically all the info I can find says it’s a lost cause, unless I can invite her out to show preselection. Not feasible at this moment so oh well.

I’ll just send her a text in a couple weeks to see if I can finess anything. But I’m mainly just chalking it up to a learning experience.

Did she ghost you?

Did you double text?

The thing is I don't believe in that failed escalation stuff. You don't need to push for a lay if it's not there at the time. And in my experience if you ran the date properly you can see the girl again

BUT. . .

There is some nuance here. If you met this girl with Online Dating things tend to move a bit faster with that medium. When you texted her she may have been on another date or still weighing her other options

So if you texted her after and she ghosted you try not to panic. Give it a day or two and reach out again. Don't wait an entire week