I recently have been having emotional turmoil due to practicing pick-up stemming from my main problem of overthinking. I think about being rejected or being flaked on, then I start thinking that I am awkward and weird, then I start thinking that it is hard for people to like me, then I start thinking about how it will be very hard for GIRLS to like me, then I start thinking about how I'm a loser who doesn't get girls, and on and on and on.
One of the solutions I stumbled on while in the midst of one of these mood swings. I was at work, grudgingly stocking bananas, when my friend from the meat department came in and we started talking. Eventually, the topic got onto the imminent debt ceiling deadline and he started talking about how the U.S. and Europe will collapse, form one world government, and how people in the cities will be screwed. Being someone who does not doubt that terrible things can happen, I got into it too, and we started planning what we would need to survive in the wilderness (that's where we would have to go because the cities would be chaotic) and it resurfaced in me a primal urge to be outdoors and survive without the trappings of civilization, completely confident in my ability to survive without modern conveniences if need be. I had completely forgotten my earlier suffering.
Here's the important bit: although I don't really believe that the U.S. will collapse into a lawless dystopia on the 17th, I now have a new focus: outdoorsmanship. See, my problem was in making pick-up my main hobby and my others goals had gone on the backburner. That was my mistake. Talking to girls is not a big deal, it is a normal part of everyone's life, and it should not be the primary focus of a person's attention. I had made it a big deal to me and so rejections and failures had become a big deal to me too and a fundamental test of my worth as a person, but that shouldn't be the case. In getting crazy about hunting, I put this skill where it should be: one of my hobbies that enriches my life but does not constitute it totally. It should be "just a thing I do".
Now, this is not an instant fix for me. I still struggle with overthinking and skewed priorities and I probably will for a while. But I hope that I have shed a little light on the subject and have,perhaps, helped anyone out there who might be combating the same issue.
Happy trails, everyone!
One of the solutions I stumbled on while in the midst of one of these mood swings. I was at work, grudgingly stocking bananas, when my friend from the meat department came in and we started talking. Eventually, the topic got onto the imminent debt ceiling deadline and he started talking about how the U.S. and Europe will collapse, form one world government, and how people in the cities will be screwed. Being someone who does not doubt that terrible things can happen, I got into it too, and we started planning what we would need to survive in the wilderness (that's where we would have to go because the cities would be chaotic) and it resurfaced in me a primal urge to be outdoors and survive without the trappings of civilization, completely confident in my ability to survive without modern conveniences if need be. I had completely forgotten my earlier suffering.
Here's the important bit: although I don't really believe that the U.S. will collapse into a lawless dystopia on the 17th, I now have a new focus: outdoorsmanship. See, my problem was in making pick-up my main hobby and my others goals had gone on the backburner. That was my mistake. Talking to girls is not a big deal, it is a normal part of everyone's life, and it should not be the primary focus of a person's attention. I had made it a big deal to me and so rejections and failures had become a big deal to me too and a fundamental test of my worth as a person, but that shouldn't be the case. In getting crazy about hunting, I put this skill where it should be: one of my hobbies that enriches my life but does not constitute it totally. It should be "just a thing I do".
Now, this is not an instant fix for me. I still struggle with overthinking and skewed priorities and I probably will for a while. But I hope that I have shed a little light on the subject and have,perhaps, helped anyone out there who might be combating the same issue.
Happy trails, everyone!