- Joined
- Aug 12, 2014
- Messages
- 1,982
hi guys,
So I can reliably get dates now, have been doing about 10~15 approaches every day and loving it. Lately I don't exactly go out to do approaches, just if I have half an hour or an hour free here and there I do them wherever I happen to be, during shopping or whatever. But all my dates are going pear-shaped.
Had another crap experience last night which I thought would be a cakewalk and involved yet another struggle to get the pants off, but I have started to realize that these kinds of situations are really about attention and putting you in a chasing frame... decided I couldn't be fucked with it anymore and magically they came off... (but compliance still low so I was unable to capitalize since I wasn't willing to return to the chasing frame)... so I can see that I REALLY need to work on rewarding, punishing and compliance.
When this girl was crapping on for hours about job and workmate crap, I tried to threat cut to something sexual and ended up with her crapping on for hours about past boyfriends, and eventually realized I was rewarding her with my full attention, what eventually helped was I started to stare into the distance, (I cannot be 100% sure this fixed it but otherwise it's an interesting coincidence). This was hard to maintain though, I would basically wait until her eyes were on me and then glance over for a bit to return her eye contact and then drift off again, hopefully this created an impression that I was struggling to listen to be polite but would really rather not be bothered with it? Is this what you're meant to do?
I usually go into the date with a plan to build compliance, for instance in this case I made her take her shoes off and then proceeded with the PASTA DATE(TM) in which she creates her own meal using a pasta machine whilst I basically just give orders, but it does not really seem to be helping... I feel that my compliance requests/demands are basically just sprinkled in and making little difference. So I'll reread the section on compliance stacking. Meanwhile she is usually making her own compliance demands. I'm unsure how to handle this situation, most of her compliance I'm happy to comply with because it seems only reasonable, but should I be refusing compliance just as a matter of principle?
But what I'm really keen to know is how to deal with one specific behaviour: People making / receiving phone calls or fiddling with their phones while they are with me. How can I discourage this? I find it incredibly rude. For instance in the case of my voice teacher. We usually have a meal after the class and I have given her head in the manner recommended by Chase and achieved great results. But after the meal when we get back to her house she'll often leave me sitting there for 20min or more while she returns various phone calls and stuff. I find it particularly irritating that she doesn't ask for my permission or apologize for this kind of behaviour. Another case is when I was sitting on a lawn in the city centre with [L] on recent date, I started to get cold and wanted to suggest we start walking towards the restaurant but she was on the phone, and again hadn't asked my permission or apologized or anything like that (eventually I just pulled her up and started walking)... the problem I have with the phone calls is that the normal means of punishment is withdrawing attention, but if they aren't paying attention to you, you cannot exactly do this? Should I just get up and leave?
cheers, Ray
So I can reliably get dates now, have been doing about 10~15 approaches every day and loving it. Lately I don't exactly go out to do approaches, just if I have half an hour or an hour free here and there I do them wherever I happen to be, during shopping or whatever. But all my dates are going pear-shaped.
Had another crap experience last night which I thought would be a cakewalk and involved yet another struggle to get the pants off, but I have started to realize that these kinds of situations are really about attention and putting you in a chasing frame... decided I couldn't be fucked with it anymore and magically they came off... (but compliance still low so I was unable to capitalize since I wasn't willing to return to the chasing frame)... so I can see that I REALLY need to work on rewarding, punishing and compliance.
When this girl was crapping on for hours about job and workmate crap, I tried to threat cut to something sexual and ended up with her crapping on for hours about past boyfriends, and eventually realized I was rewarding her with my full attention, what eventually helped was I started to stare into the distance, (I cannot be 100% sure this fixed it but otherwise it's an interesting coincidence). This was hard to maintain though, I would basically wait until her eyes were on me and then glance over for a bit to return her eye contact and then drift off again, hopefully this created an impression that I was struggling to listen to be polite but would really rather not be bothered with it? Is this what you're meant to do?
I usually go into the date with a plan to build compliance, for instance in this case I made her take her shoes off and then proceeded with the PASTA DATE(TM) in which she creates her own meal using a pasta machine whilst I basically just give orders, but it does not really seem to be helping... I feel that my compliance requests/demands are basically just sprinkled in and making little difference. So I'll reread the section on compliance stacking. Meanwhile she is usually making her own compliance demands. I'm unsure how to handle this situation, most of her compliance I'm happy to comply with because it seems only reasonable, but should I be refusing compliance just as a matter of principle?
But what I'm really keen to know is how to deal with one specific behaviour: People making / receiving phone calls or fiddling with their phones while they are with me. How can I discourage this? I find it incredibly rude. For instance in the case of my voice teacher. We usually have a meal after the class and I have given her head in the manner recommended by Chase and achieved great results. But after the meal when we get back to her house she'll often leave me sitting there for 20min or more while she returns various phone calls and stuff. I find it particularly irritating that she doesn't ask for my permission or apologize for this kind of behaviour. Another case is when I was sitting on a lawn in the city centre with [L] on recent date, I started to get cold and wanted to suggest we start walking towards the restaurant but she was on the phone, and again hadn't asked my permission or apologized or anything like that (eventually I just pulled her up and started walking)... the problem I have with the phone calls is that the normal means of punishment is withdrawing attention, but if they aren't paying attention to you, you cannot exactly do this? Should I just get up and leave?
cheers, Ray
