- Joined
- May 12, 2016
- Messages
- 231
I would prefer a more advanced seducer to answer this question.
So I've been running into this dilemma a lot lately.
It's a basic knowledge that people treat you based on how they perceive you.
For women, if they think you have value, they'll be attracted to a certain extent.
For men, if they think you have value (which is subjective), they'll treat you with respect or tool/disrespect you if they perceive you as low value or weak.
But how they perceive you can be different from how you perceive yourself. To women or allies, their credible source is how others treat you and perceive you, not necessarily how you view yourself.
My paradox is that, if they treat you based on how they perceive you. But if you try to change how they perceive you, it makes you look even weaker. The only solution that comes down to is just keep doing what you do regardless of how people see you in the long term, and 90% of the time, those same people come to respect the consistency. Whether it's 1 month, 1 year, or a decade because he or she'll just keep getting better. (Think family members, old friends, doubters, you can't get rid of)
But what about in short term? There are two types of scenarios.
Let's say Jack really great in math or science fields. (or any type of subjects/career fields/skill sets) BUT Jack is horrible in taking exams. He gets anxious and nervous. He gets a 50/60 on his exams in class, but he wants to work as a scientist one day. When his peers and professors sees his exam grades, they subconsciously start thinking, he's not really that great in math and science. So when the professor asks everyone including Jack what does he want to be one day, he tells him "I want to be a scientist". And of course the response, whether directly or subtly, depending on people's mannerisms, they'll sort of laugh at that statement and not really see it as a joke based on his exam scores. But it's not really that he sucks in math/science, but rather he gets anxious and can't control his emotions. But to people watching, that doesn't matter. It's either is he good or not. Is he valuable or not.
This in return starts effecting his self esteem and creating doubts on one day become a scientist.
From here Jack can do certain things in response.
1. He can fight the perception people already have of him "Jack sucks in math and science".
"NO I just get really anxious in tests, but I'm actually really good"
Which in return enforces the perception of the people "He's never going to make it as a scientist" because he tried to explain himself and continues to treat him with doubts and disrespect for his vision.
2. He can ignore it say "I don't give a fuck about what people think of me"
But this mentality leads to cutting off connections he can make with great mentors or future scientists AT THAT certain moment as connections and networks are all about reputation and how others perceive you. And also leads to a bit of an isolated place from people.
This can also go the other way.
Jack is EXTREMELY good in memorizing facts and details and gets all 100s. And people start thinking "wow he'll most def become a Nobel Prize winner one day". And to a girl seeing this, she gets attracted to that. Only to find out 10 months in, he really isn't a street smart guy, and dumps him. Which effects his confidence and self esteem.
For instance with dating, you may know you're becoming an attractive guy and you see yourself as that person, but others around you still react negatively, which in return cuts out any attraction, if any, a girl in that had for you at that moment. Due to seeing how others treat you, and in return start perceiving that herself.
So my question is this.
If you can't fight how people perceive you, but you also can't let anyone treat you with disrespect in front of a girl, how do you manage people's perception of you when it's different from how you perceive yourself?
So I've been running into this dilemma a lot lately.
It's a basic knowledge that people treat you based on how they perceive you.
For women, if they think you have value, they'll be attracted to a certain extent.
For men, if they think you have value (which is subjective), they'll treat you with respect or tool/disrespect you if they perceive you as low value or weak.
But how they perceive you can be different from how you perceive yourself. To women or allies, their credible source is how others treat you and perceive you, not necessarily how you view yourself.
My paradox is that, if they treat you based on how they perceive you. But if you try to change how they perceive you, it makes you look even weaker. The only solution that comes down to is just keep doing what you do regardless of how people see you in the long term, and 90% of the time, those same people come to respect the consistency. Whether it's 1 month, 1 year, or a decade because he or she'll just keep getting better. (Think family members, old friends, doubters, you can't get rid of)
But what about in short term? There are two types of scenarios.
Let's say Jack really great in math or science fields. (or any type of subjects/career fields/skill sets) BUT Jack is horrible in taking exams. He gets anxious and nervous. He gets a 50/60 on his exams in class, but he wants to work as a scientist one day. When his peers and professors sees his exam grades, they subconsciously start thinking, he's not really that great in math and science. So when the professor asks everyone including Jack what does he want to be one day, he tells him "I want to be a scientist". And of course the response, whether directly or subtly, depending on people's mannerisms, they'll sort of laugh at that statement and not really see it as a joke based on his exam scores. But it's not really that he sucks in math/science, but rather he gets anxious and can't control his emotions. But to people watching, that doesn't matter. It's either is he good or not. Is he valuable or not.
This in return starts effecting his self esteem and creating doubts on one day become a scientist.
From here Jack can do certain things in response.
1. He can fight the perception people already have of him "Jack sucks in math and science".
"NO I just get really anxious in tests, but I'm actually really good"
Which in return enforces the perception of the people "He's never going to make it as a scientist" because he tried to explain himself and continues to treat him with doubts and disrespect for his vision.
2. He can ignore it say "I don't give a fuck about what people think of me"
But this mentality leads to cutting off connections he can make with great mentors or future scientists AT THAT certain moment as connections and networks are all about reputation and how others perceive you. And also leads to a bit of an isolated place from people.
This can also go the other way.
Jack is EXTREMELY good in memorizing facts and details and gets all 100s. And people start thinking "wow he'll most def become a Nobel Prize winner one day". And to a girl seeing this, she gets attracted to that. Only to find out 10 months in, he really isn't a street smart guy, and dumps him. Which effects his confidence and self esteem.
For instance with dating, you may know you're becoming an attractive guy and you see yourself as that person, but others around you still react negatively, which in return cuts out any attraction, if any, a girl in that had for you at that moment. Due to seeing how others treat you, and in return start perceiving that herself.
So my question is this.
If you can't fight how people perceive you, but you also can't let anyone treat you with disrespect in front of a girl, how do you manage people's perception of you when it's different from how you perceive yourself?
