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- Aug 1, 2018
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- 1
Hi All.
New user here, but a reader of articles (I must say they are pretty great for advice).
I've recently found myself in a bit of a confusing situation surrounding a girl which has took some pretty interesting turns good/bad which I would like some advice on if possible - so to start I'm in my late 20's with no relationship's prior history and no social life to be fair so all of this is new to me but guess we got to start somewhere. This girl is mid 30's, very flirty around guys, very sexual, but has had been in an abusive relationship(s) all her life, really poor family background, and even homeless at one point. She has no family nearby or even friends so is pretty much isolated so is constantly posting pictures or chatting with someone.
So the situation is this:
Through a mutual friend, this woman (early 30's) got in contact with me to potentially join a company that I work for which is not your average job. It entails traveling, working one on one and it's ran much like a family with our bosses/employees. I was able to take her in under my training which I got closely working with her. She had a boyfriend of 10+ years who was considerably older than her. Whilst we were traveling together on the first trip she asks for a kiss here and there whilst we were drinking until the early hours in the morning - I naturally hesitated as I found this would be considered cheating but in my mind (and how she explained) I took it as her being thankful that I got her into this position (her past job was really boring, underpaid, no travel etc) so I accepted which was a peak on the cheek/lips. She ends up in my hotel room but nothing happens (sexually) though she was grinding closely to me. We travel back home and nothing is mentioned of what happened - she goes back to her place and see's her boyfriend.
5 months later we head to another country, only this time with other colleagues. This girl can easy have any guy hooked in seconds due to it being a male orientated field, able to flirt, really funny and a bit of a party animal which is why she's good to make contacts during traveling. So in this trip, the second night I'm ill so stuck in bed but the next morning I find out she hung out all night with my colleagues (which left her after a while) and some strangers who she ended up sleeping at their hotel room. I know (so I've been told) nothing sexual happened but the next couple of days is hanging out with this one particular guy. The last night before we travel to another state she sleeps at his hotel room again (claims she doesn't get on well with a colleague and is somewhat true). We then travel to the other state which its just our colleagues - we spend (her and myself) the day together which ended up us drinking till early morning. Here she tells me about her abusive past, current abusive boyfriend and some deep personal secrets. Of which then says I'm good looking. All the while she's still in a relationship, she wants me to french kiss with her - at this point, she practically says her relationship is over when she returns. So I engage as since our first trip I did start to have feelings for her which I thought would be reciprocal after this trip considering she was hitting on me. During the taxi home say starts saying she wants to give me oral though I tell her to stop since at this point is wasted and also I didn't want to trigger any of her past history of her being taken advantage of. We crash in my bed but again nothing sexual. The next few days it's not mentioned but she then spends all night / day texting the guy who she previously stayed in the hotel room with or a long distant friend (upcoming) whilst blanking me with any conversation.
We fly home - she breaks up though is still in the same building as her boyfriend which can imagine is very corrupt. I'll skip a large chunk here but picture a corrupt environment with her being blackmailed, abused etc. I had to borrow her my computer for work. Checking the history upon return (since the boyfriend attempted to put keyloggers on it) I find she's speaking with the guy from the hotel late at night and articles about love - which is confusing me.
Whilst she is in the same environment we travel to another country. Again the same scenario is we have drinks til early in the morning though this time she's saying how bad her life is and having an attack at me too. I straight up tell her my feelings towards her - she says due to her current situation (which I know) is not the best time but says I'm not friend zoned but wouldn't say no or yes, then proceeds to give me a big bear hug and also a few kisses.
A few weeks later we go out for a drink as a casual thing but ends up till early morning again, all the while she's planning on a 'romantic' holiday with the long distant friend who she says its nothing serious. At this point we are french kissing and getting really steamy which is a considerable jump from the second trip. It was that steamy the security throw us out making other people feel awkward. Here she kind of turns and says how bad her life storming off down the road shouting abuse to others but needs to speak with 'me' (she says she looks at me like some counselor). I stop her and tell her it is 'me' which she snapped out of almost a trans saying she was confused. We proceed to walk around town and grab a bite which she says its been a good date - though it wasn't mentioned at all.
After a month, shes now out of the environment and in her own place. She's been talking with a long distance friend who will pay for her to visit him. All the while my schedule is in exactly the same place though she's going for holidays whilst I'm for work. This guy then organizes it but after a few weeks says he can't make it. The plan is then for her to tag along with me on a work trip. The guy appears and her plans change from work to holiday. She straight up says she's going to get 'mucky' with this guy. She returns home but I'm out of the country for 5 weeks.
Since I've been gone she has been commenting I would say more frequently on my social media pictures (even with my family), also saying that she misses me at work and is happy to see me happy. My boss being very close to me says that a new employee started just after I left and when she returned, who is younger than her and they both are working together though this girl gets a bit jealous. At one point he put a picture of me saying that I'm interested to meet the new employee of which she tells him to remove the comments or anything when my name appears. Also, the girl says on the new employee's behalf that she has a boyfriend and I shouldn't hit on her, though my boss was playing a joke to provoke a response.
So in short, I really don't know what to make of this. This has happened 4 times. Is she interested in me or just wants attention or I'm I gettting used? I've literally been ill with all of this drama and lost weight because of it. I've been reading several articles which are all very useful. I want to know where I stand so I can take the appropriate action by either moving on or step up to the plate.
Thanks in advance.
New user here, but a reader of articles (I must say they are pretty great for advice).
I've recently found myself in a bit of a confusing situation surrounding a girl which has took some pretty interesting turns good/bad which I would like some advice on if possible - so to start I'm in my late 20's with no relationship's prior history and no social life to be fair so all of this is new to me but guess we got to start somewhere. This girl is mid 30's, very flirty around guys, very sexual, but has had been in an abusive relationship(s) all her life, really poor family background, and even homeless at one point. She has no family nearby or even friends so is pretty much isolated so is constantly posting pictures or chatting with someone.
So the situation is this:
Through a mutual friend, this woman (early 30's) got in contact with me to potentially join a company that I work for which is not your average job. It entails traveling, working one on one and it's ran much like a family with our bosses/employees. I was able to take her in under my training which I got closely working with her. She had a boyfriend of 10+ years who was considerably older than her. Whilst we were traveling together on the first trip she asks for a kiss here and there whilst we were drinking until the early hours in the morning - I naturally hesitated as I found this would be considered cheating but in my mind (and how she explained) I took it as her being thankful that I got her into this position (her past job was really boring, underpaid, no travel etc) so I accepted which was a peak on the cheek/lips. She ends up in my hotel room but nothing happens (sexually) though she was grinding closely to me. We travel back home and nothing is mentioned of what happened - she goes back to her place and see's her boyfriend.
5 months later we head to another country, only this time with other colleagues. This girl can easy have any guy hooked in seconds due to it being a male orientated field, able to flirt, really funny and a bit of a party animal which is why she's good to make contacts during traveling. So in this trip, the second night I'm ill so stuck in bed but the next morning I find out she hung out all night with my colleagues (which left her after a while) and some strangers who she ended up sleeping at their hotel room. I know (so I've been told) nothing sexual happened but the next couple of days is hanging out with this one particular guy. The last night before we travel to another state she sleeps at his hotel room again (claims she doesn't get on well with a colleague and is somewhat true). We then travel to the other state which its just our colleagues - we spend (her and myself) the day together which ended up us drinking till early morning. Here she tells me about her abusive past, current abusive boyfriend and some deep personal secrets. Of which then says I'm good looking. All the while she's still in a relationship, she wants me to french kiss with her - at this point, she practically says her relationship is over when she returns. So I engage as since our first trip I did start to have feelings for her which I thought would be reciprocal after this trip considering she was hitting on me. During the taxi home say starts saying she wants to give me oral though I tell her to stop since at this point is wasted and also I didn't want to trigger any of her past history of her being taken advantage of. We crash in my bed but again nothing sexual. The next few days it's not mentioned but she then spends all night / day texting the guy who she previously stayed in the hotel room with or a long distant friend (upcoming) whilst blanking me with any conversation.
We fly home - she breaks up though is still in the same building as her boyfriend which can imagine is very corrupt. I'll skip a large chunk here but picture a corrupt environment with her being blackmailed, abused etc. I had to borrow her my computer for work. Checking the history upon return (since the boyfriend attempted to put keyloggers on it) I find she's speaking with the guy from the hotel late at night and articles about love - which is confusing me.
Whilst she is in the same environment we travel to another country. Again the same scenario is we have drinks til early in the morning though this time she's saying how bad her life is and having an attack at me too. I straight up tell her my feelings towards her - she says due to her current situation (which I know) is not the best time but says I'm not friend zoned but wouldn't say no or yes, then proceeds to give me a big bear hug and also a few kisses.
A few weeks later we go out for a drink as a casual thing but ends up till early morning again, all the while she's planning on a 'romantic' holiday with the long distant friend who she says its nothing serious. At this point we are french kissing and getting really steamy which is a considerable jump from the second trip. It was that steamy the security throw us out making other people feel awkward. Here she kind of turns and says how bad her life storming off down the road shouting abuse to others but needs to speak with 'me' (she says she looks at me like some counselor). I stop her and tell her it is 'me' which she snapped out of almost a trans saying she was confused. We proceed to walk around town and grab a bite which she says its been a good date - though it wasn't mentioned at all.
After a month, shes now out of the environment and in her own place. She's been talking with a long distance friend who will pay for her to visit him. All the while my schedule is in exactly the same place though she's going for holidays whilst I'm for work. This guy then organizes it but after a few weeks says he can't make it. The plan is then for her to tag along with me on a work trip. The guy appears and her plans change from work to holiday. She straight up says she's going to get 'mucky' with this guy. She returns home but I'm out of the country for 5 weeks.
Since I've been gone she has been commenting I would say more frequently on my social media pictures (even with my family), also saying that she misses me at work and is happy to see me happy. My boss being very close to me says that a new employee started just after I left and when she returned, who is younger than her and they both are working together though this girl gets a bit jealous. At one point he put a picture of me saying that I'm interested to meet the new employee of which she tells him to remove the comments or anything when my name appears. Also, the girl says on the new employee's behalf that she has a boyfriend and I shouldn't hit on her, though my boss was playing a joke to provoke a response.
So in short, I really don't know what to make of this. This has happened 4 times. Is she interested in me or just wants attention or I'm I gettting used? I've literally been ill with all of this drama and lost weight because of it. I've been reading several articles which are all very useful. I want to know where I stand so I can take the appropriate action by either moving on or step up to the plate.
Thanks in advance.
