Hey guys,
This is the first report I've put the effort to make - I tend to reflect constantly and make my own notes anyway but I feel like posting them on GC is even more beneficial both to myself and others.
So I go to the art section of our University campus to check if my clay piece has been fired - I'm not an art student so I had a friend take care of this process. I chat up all the people there, and as I stand by the schedule a cute girl walks by.
Naturally, I grab her attention and ask her how her work is going. She had some plates in her hand, and hooked instantly. Sexual energy was high, I was in a good mood, and seeing a gorgeous set of big blue eyes really gives me the confidence to keep going. Dilated eyes are usually a sure sign, though I've also met girls with a straight face who didn't hesitate to give me their #s. So far none of those have gone anywhere.
Her friend comes up to us and asks her something, so at this point I'm ready to leave and move on. But I take a look at my girl's (call her Bri) feet and I can clearly tell that despite her attention on her friend her feet are both pointed at me. So I take that as a clear sign that she's very interested and compliment her friend's work until she leaves, at which point I suggest that Bri and I get some dinner sometime and grab her number.
She texts me back 2min after my icebreaker with a smile, so I can tell its on. I find that sending a Hey x, good to meet you
- Tom with a smiley face is more effective than without one when the opening conversation is loaded with tension. I'm also extremely comfortable meeting girls on campus, which is great because I know its reflected in my body language - I'm always calm and collected and girls seem to stick like mud. I've even gotten random neighbors to help me do my laundry out of the blue just because I needed some help with time.
Next day I tell her that dinner probably won't work for me this week so I suggest getting hot chocolate instead - she eats it up and I set a time for Wednesday. Texting has historically been where I drop the ball so I was glad to see that she detailed out how she had class wednesday and asked if I wanted to do a different time. I love the compliance, I don't ever seem to get that out of a text conversation despite my success in person.
We schedule for Thursday and meet at the local campus market that night. I feel like the way I greet my dates is sort of awkward, but I personally feel calm and collected and my read is simply her being nervous to see me. We go in and buy the cups, to which the store lady says she'll just let me pay for one. She seemed to notice my date's hands hesitantly holding her Card in her purse and decided that she wanted to cut me a break. I probably could have made her pay for the drinks but it really doesn't matter - I don't think asking a woman to pay $2 is worth it when you have to go out of your way to do it. Law of least effort.
We fill the drinks, and I tell her the drinks are very hot so we should go get some snacks and start walking. She follows me out without verbally agreeing and I take her to my apartment that's a good 2min away.
We get inside and I have us take our shoes off and tell her to get my dessert bowl so we can make some truffles. It's an ethnic recipe for chocolate rumballs (thank you grandma) and we take it to my coffee table by the couch. She's a photo major so I talk to her about travel, share some pics, talk about music, and noticed the whole time that she was hesitant to sit next to me. I could tell by the way she was fondling her cup that she was interested, but I decided that since she was too distant and stiff it'd be better to watch something. Should I have just jumped on that and started escalation?
I put on Always Sunny in Philadelphia to lighten the mood, but she wouldn't follow me to the end of the couch. I responded by saying that now the laptop is too far away so I moved in next to her so I could put an arm around her. Bad move? Idk, I just thought I needed her to get comfortable with my touch.
Show goes on but I get the feeling that she's only laughing when I do precisely BECAUSE I laughed. Bit of a forced connection I felt, and rightfully so because she was admittedly quite a boring girl. She failed every attempt of mine to screen her for interests and talents, so I felt that light-hearted speculative behaviour was best.
Show finishes (Kitten Mittens episode is great, some stripper action in there, lets me probe her for naughtiness) so I put on some music while still holding her and get her on a good topic about adventurous photography.. (really the ONLY thing she had going for her) As planned on my playlist for the 10min rule, "Time Waits for No One" by the stones come on and I angle to make my move. If you're having trouble with closing that's definitely a song you want to check out.
I ask her if I still have chocolate on my face and she says for no, I go check her face and move for the manhandle kiss but she is stone solid. It worked for another girl, and was fairly awesome, but this girl wasn't having it. She wouldn't lean in when I did, so I figured a direct push would be the only thing I could do. Besides, when "Beast of Burden" is playing I don't feel like I had a choice (love the stones)
She was fine with me brushing her hair and complimenting her eyes, but pushed me away when I went for a kiss and told me she wanted to be friends first and said she should leave. My initial reaction is a confused WTF? because it was obvious she wanted me, but I caught myself within milliseconds and kept my cool. I figured that we had an impass in frames, and that I could use the experience in trying to reverse this.
Turns out that she's a very conservative religious girl (she definitely was...zzz...), and firmly believes in god and the teachings of the church. I put my hands on hers as she was getting up to keep her seated so that I could do something. I complimented her on her strength in following through with her principles, but told her to look within and see if her beliefs really help her get what she wants in life. I basically told her that I believe in going for what I want, and that she needs to reconsider hers. I felt that I had her thinking for a minute, but ultimately its very difficult to change somebody's core beliefs. I accepted that and she reiterated that she was going to leave, and I let her go.
Concluding Thoughts:
My past experience with religious girls is very similar - they have gargantuan hangups about intimacy, even with their long-term boyfriends. I'm pretty confident that she was a virgin, or at least I would be miffed to discover that she wasn't and that I legitimately screwed up. I believe that the way to win is to take her on more dates but I know that I'm not a valid boyfriend candidate for her so I refuse to lead her on this way. Maybe I need to be more explicit about this? I know I'm charming and sexy but it's hard to know what's too much and what makes a girl try to hold out for a boyfriend. Sometimes I wish I could communicate that if you don't grab your chance you'll lose it forever, but that's inherently a very cocky thing to say and would certainly turn me off.
At the end of the day I think I can rest knowing that I did everything I could and the failure wasn't my fault, as much as I want it to be so that I can learn and improve. I'm glad to know that I'm fully comfortable with having girls alone with me, even to the point where I don't get phased by her being nervous (used to be a terrible problem - stopped me from escalating) I'm starting to anticipate sex resistance the same way I anticipate resistance for pulls/#s, and I'm trying to get a better handle on it even if LMR is unusual for me (all of my lays had no LMR at all)
I tend to write long posts, it just seems to be my style. Would more people read it if I cut it down? I think it flows well and isn't exactly boring but I could use other opinions. I'd like to maximize the feedback I get, even if there wasn't anything I could do for this particular girl.
What would you have done?
- TR
This is the first report I've put the effort to make - I tend to reflect constantly and make my own notes anyway but I feel like posting them on GC is even more beneficial both to myself and others.
So I go to the art section of our University campus to check if my clay piece has been fired - I'm not an art student so I had a friend take care of this process. I chat up all the people there, and as I stand by the schedule a cute girl walks by.
Naturally, I grab her attention and ask her how her work is going. She had some plates in her hand, and hooked instantly. Sexual energy was high, I was in a good mood, and seeing a gorgeous set of big blue eyes really gives me the confidence to keep going. Dilated eyes are usually a sure sign, though I've also met girls with a straight face who didn't hesitate to give me their #s. So far none of those have gone anywhere.
Her friend comes up to us and asks her something, so at this point I'm ready to leave and move on. But I take a look at my girl's (call her Bri) feet and I can clearly tell that despite her attention on her friend her feet are both pointed at me. So I take that as a clear sign that she's very interested and compliment her friend's work until she leaves, at which point I suggest that Bri and I get some dinner sometime and grab her number.
She texts me back 2min after my icebreaker with a smile, so I can tell its on. I find that sending a Hey x, good to meet you
- Tom with a smiley face is more effective than without one when the opening conversation is loaded with tension. I'm also extremely comfortable meeting girls on campus, which is great because I know its reflected in my body language - I'm always calm and collected and girls seem to stick like mud. I've even gotten random neighbors to help me do my laundry out of the blue just because I needed some help with time.Next day I tell her that dinner probably won't work for me this week so I suggest getting hot chocolate instead - she eats it up and I set a time for Wednesday. Texting has historically been where I drop the ball so I was glad to see that she detailed out how she had class wednesday and asked if I wanted to do a different time. I love the compliance, I don't ever seem to get that out of a text conversation despite my success in person.
We schedule for Thursday and meet at the local campus market that night. I feel like the way I greet my dates is sort of awkward, but I personally feel calm and collected and my read is simply her being nervous to see me. We go in and buy the cups, to which the store lady says she'll just let me pay for one. She seemed to notice my date's hands hesitantly holding her Card in her purse and decided that she wanted to cut me a break. I probably could have made her pay for the drinks but it really doesn't matter - I don't think asking a woman to pay $2 is worth it when you have to go out of your way to do it. Law of least effort.
We fill the drinks, and I tell her the drinks are very hot so we should go get some snacks and start walking. She follows me out without verbally agreeing and I take her to my apartment that's a good 2min away.
We get inside and I have us take our shoes off and tell her to get my dessert bowl so we can make some truffles. It's an ethnic recipe for chocolate rumballs (thank you grandma) and we take it to my coffee table by the couch. She's a photo major so I talk to her about travel, share some pics, talk about music, and noticed the whole time that she was hesitant to sit next to me. I could tell by the way she was fondling her cup that she was interested, but I decided that since she was too distant and stiff it'd be better to watch something. Should I have just jumped on that and started escalation?
I put on Always Sunny in Philadelphia to lighten the mood, but she wouldn't follow me to the end of the couch. I responded by saying that now the laptop is too far away so I moved in next to her so I could put an arm around her. Bad move? Idk, I just thought I needed her to get comfortable with my touch.
Show goes on but I get the feeling that she's only laughing when I do precisely BECAUSE I laughed. Bit of a forced connection I felt, and rightfully so because she was admittedly quite a boring girl. She failed every attempt of mine to screen her for interests and talents, so I felt that light-hearted speculative behaviour was best.
Show finishes (Kitten Mittens episode is great, some stripper action in there, lets me probe her for naughtiness) so I put on some music while still holding her and get her on a good topic about adventurous photography.. (really the ONLY thing she had going for her) As planned on my playlist for the 10min rule, "Time Waits for No One" by the stones come on and I angle to make my move. If you're having trouble with closing that's definitely a song you want to check out.
I ask her if I still have chocolate on my face and she says for no, I go check her face and move for the manhandle kiss but she is stone solid. It worked for another girl, and was fairly awesome, but this girl wasn't having it. She wouldn't lean in when I did, so I figured a direct push would be the only thing I could do. Besides, when "Beast of Burden" is playing I don't feel like I had a choice (love the stones)
She was fine with me brushing her hair and complimenting her eyes, but pushed me away when I went for a kiss and told me she wanted to be friends first and said she should leave. My initial reaction is a confused WTF? because it was obvious she wanted me, but I caught myself within milliseconds and kept my cool. I figured that we had an impass in frames, and that I could use the experience in trying to reverse this.
Turns out that she's a very conservative religious girl (she definitely was...zzz...), and firmly believes in god and the teachings of the church. I put my hands on hers as she was getting up to keep her seated so that I could do something. I complimented her on her strength in following through with her principles, but told her to look within and see if her beliefs really help her get what she wants in life. I basically told her that I believe in going for what I want, and that she needs to reconsider hers. I felt that I had her thinking for a minute, but ultimately its very difficult to change somebody's core beliefs. I accepted that and she reiterated that she was going to leave, and I let her go.
Concluding Thoughts:
My past experience with religious girls is very similar - they have gargantuan hangups about intimacy, even with their long-term boyfriends. I'm pretty confident that she was a virgin, or at least I would be miffed to discover that she wasn't and that I legitimately screwed up. I believe that the way to win is to take her on more dates but I know that I'm not a valid boyfriend candidate for her so I refuse to lead her on this way. Maybe I need to be more explicit about this? I know I'm charming and sexy but it's hard to know what's too much and what makes a girl try to hold out for a boyfriend. Sometimes I wish I could communicate that if you don't grab your chance you'll lose it forever, but that's inherently a very cocky thing to say and would certainly turn me off.
At the end of the day I think I can rest knowing that I did everything I could and the failure wasn't my fault, as much as I want it to be so that I can learn and improve. I'm glad to know that I'm fully comfortable with having girls alone with me, even to the point where I don't get phased by her being nervous (used to be a terrible problem - stopped me from escalating) I'm starting to anticipate sex resistance the same way I anticipate resistance for pulls/#s, and I'm trying to get a better handle on it even if LMR is unusual for me (all of my lays had no LMR at all)
I tend to write long posts, it just seems to be my style. Would more people read it if I cut it down? I think it flows well and isn't exactly boring but I could use other opinions. I'd like to maximize the feedback I get, even if there wasn't anything I could do for this particular girl.
What would you have done?
- TR
