- Joined
- Apr 7, 2013
- Messages
- 714
Hey guys. If you want to skip all the background, just scroll down to The Question.
Jut encountered this situation that's sort of confusing me as to where I go from here. I met this girl through a friend. We were talking one and we were flirting back and forth, her giving me eye contact and some incidental touch. Then, in the conversation with the group came up the topic of drugs. She said she's never drank, never smoked, all this shit, blah blah blah. So in my mind I'm pegging her as a rule follower and a sort of non-drug type of girl. Which is fine, just not specifically what I like, but I still like a challenge.
Later, I'm texting her and somehow we get back on this topic of drinking underage. I quickly tell her my beliefs...
Her: Next year I'll be 21, But u aren't legal either. You're only 18!
Me: Doesn't mean I can't drink if I want to
Her: That's true. But we have that law for a reason
Me: (trying to re-frame, show her my side while showing understanding) I know what you mean, but rules were meant to be broken, besides other countries have taht law placed a much younger age so things aren't set in stone I tried to show I wasn't just spewing my opinion with the "I know what you mean" and I also tried to show I wasn't trying to start an argument with the smiley face at the end but..
Her: I don't believe that. And it's set in stone here. (Ouch, reframe..)
Me: (Diffusing and changing topic, because I don't have time to get in an argument over text) It is what it is. Finish your midterms yet?
So from that exchange I'm getting the feel that this girl is inexperienced, close-minded, and not willing to even listen to a different opinion. The way she completely refuted my idea without any understanding drew me to that conclusion. Also, this seems like an internal frame rather than an external one, but I'm not quite sure yet. Despite this, I still want to try because I like a challenge and she's also not my main objective right now. Besides, I also want to deep dive her to see why she has those type of strong views. Also, she still seems somewhat interested, and I also DON'T know whether she's a virgin or not, which could be the kicker here.
The Question
So with all that background, my question basically is: how do you guys deal with conservative/religious girls who are close minded? Do you just next them or is there a way to reroute their thoughts, create a strong emotional connection with them and still have a go at 'em? Let me know.
Jake.
Jut encountered this situation that's sort of confusing me as to where I go from here. I met this girl through a friend. We were talking one and we were flirting back and forth, her giving me eye contact and some incidental touch. Then, in the conversation with the group came up the topic of drugs. She said she's never drank, never smoked, all this shit, blah blah blah. So in my mind I'm pegging her as a rule follower and a sort of non-drug type of girl. Which is fine, just not specifically what I like, but I still like a challenge.
Later, I'm texting her and somehow we get back on this topic of drinking underage. I quickly tell her my beliefs...
Her: Next year I'll be 21, But u aren't legal either. You're only 18!
Me: Doesn't mean I can't drink if I want to
Her: That's true. But we have that law for a reason
Me: (trying to re-frame, show her my side while showing understanding) I know what you mean, but rules were meant to be broken, besides other countries have taht law placed a much younger age so things aren't set in stone
I tried to show I wasn't just spewing my opinion with the "I know what you mean" and I also tried to show I wasn't trying to start an argument with the smiley face at the end but..Her: I don't believe that. And it's set in stone here. (Ouch, reframe..)
Me: (Diffusing and changing topic, because I don't have time to get in an argument over text) It is what it is. Finish your midterms yet?
So from that exchange I'm getting the feel that this girl is inexperienced, close-minded, and not willing to even listen to a different opinion. The way she completely refuted my idea without any understanding drew me to that conclusion. Also, this seems like an internal frame rather than an external one, but I'm not quite sure yet. Despite this, I still want to try because I like a challenge and she's also not my main objective right now. Besides, I also want to deep dive her to see why she has those type of strong views. Also, she still seems somewhat interested, and I also DON'T know whether she's a virgin or not, which could be the kicker here.
The Question
So with all that background, my question basically is: how do you guys deal with conservative/religious girls who are close minded? Do you just next them or is there a way to reroute their thoughts, create a strong emotional connection with them and still have a go at 'em? Let me know.
Jake.
