Contact before date

[Man-O]

I was curious to the do's and don't when it comes to contacting a girl you've set up a date with when there's long time or some days until the actual date.

Would you recommend a bit of texting to know each other more or should it be through calls. Should I even contact them?

So far I consider asking what kind of movies or comedians she prefers as we only briefly talked about that.

Info: The date is by my parents' place, who're on vacation so got it all for myself and it's 20 mins away in car from where she lives. So far I invited her over to cake-baking. Rly inexperienced with dates at home as I've yet to acquire the logistics for it.

 

[Lotus]

first off

- keep focused on the date itself and don't get distracted by small talk
- end the conversation on your terms so you may naturally open it back up if you so choose

How long of radio silence would it be? have you solidified a meet time yet?

I am in the same place you are right now with a girl I met Friday. Here is how is it going down:

I met her and number closed at the bar with the plan to meet for a date Wednesday.
Me: Hey K, Looking forward to hanging out- Brum
Her: hi
Me: It was nice to meet you.
Her: you too. can't wait to see you Wednesday
-normally I wouldn't text her but all she said was "hi" so I wanted to illicit more out of her. Saturday was no contact. Sunday she texted me asking how my valentines day was and to which I directed the conversation to our date on Wednesday. After setting up logistics of the date I let the conversation die after one of her responses.

Her: haha sounds good. you can show me around. what're you up to tonight?
Me: watching the 40th ANNY of SNL. (I tried to give her enough to respond but clearly not investing more... I didn't ask what she was doing)
Her: that's funn
..........
.........
Her: so i'm watching 50 shades of grey so the standards for Wednesday are pretty high up there now haha.
Me: If the standards are as high as the movies ratings.... then I have nothing to worry about haha
Her: haha I admit it's not the best move but it does make one curious

left it open again there.. no I can reopen if I decide I need to. I definitely will because we didn't decide on a time AND she will be driving 40 minutes so I don't want to give her an excuse to flake.

So reopening is really based on your judgment of the situation. Does that make sense?

but normally 2-3 days is the range I will go radio silence before a date... the pre date anti-flake text counts also so if I had gotten her to agree on a time yesterday I could have been okay until Wednesday

edit: the important things you want to communicate is that you are not needy and this won't be a texting relationship(or whatever you want to call it)

 

[Man-O]

Met her friday in a club. Followed her home, almost. Gave her a missed call so she had my number. Asked when she'd be available the day after since I was gonna call her.

She texted me right after (if I remember correct)


Her: Rememer to call hehe. Thanks for the night. Hope *her friend's name* and *my friend* get together.

Called her at 5 pm, but was late omw to speed dating.

Her: Hey, sorry my phone bugged just now so didn't get to respond

Was actually at the speed dating now

Me: I call you when I got the time
Her: Fair enough
9 pm
Her: If you were going to call tonight can't you wait for tomorrow instead? I'm a bit bumped and jumping to bed now
Me: K, I'll call you tomorrow at 2 pm instead

I've hardly given girls calls but turned fine, talked for like 5 mins. Asked for her schedule. Agreed on having a date in the upcoming week.

Her: I think we should say thursday? If that is fine with you
Me: Yup, got some classes in the morning. Can pick you up at noon or later.
Her: My classes end at 4.30 pm so it can first be 5 pm
Me: Super, just type address for where you want to be picked up
Her: *Types it*
Me: Cool.

The last msg was sent on sunday. So from sunday till thursday, is that too much radio silence?

 

[Lotus]

No don't text her at this point you spoke on the phone and set up the date already. Day of just send your anti flake text and your good.

You don't need to send that last "cool" text it does not add anything to the conversation. Also, you give her the power per say,as you invested in a text that got no response. Cool really isn't much of an investment though but it is much easier to re open conversation if you just leave it.

Good luck on your date!

 

[Man-O]

No don't text her at this point you spoke on the phone and set up the date already. Day of just send your anti flake text and your good.

See, that is the only reason why I'd text her again to decrease the risk of flake. Would it be the day before the date? And what should be included in this?

Thanks again for advice.

 

[luego]

A couple hours before the date.... nothing more than a "So, 2pm still working?"