- Joined
- Aug 14, 2013
- Messages
- 11
Hi all,
Been a while. Hope you've been good and...compliments of the season. Need guidance on a quick one.
I realized that there isn't any clear cut article on how frequently to talk to a girl on the phone either through phone calls or chat applications like BBM on the website either through YOU calling/initiating or HER calling/initiating. Of course, having preliminary knowledge can easily show the disadvantages of talking too much on the phone which I'll list in a bit. But a bit of background first.
Met this babe, who's really cool and pretty etc. Tried to get her out but our schedules don't permit it yet. She largely considered me a
stranger and probably was ambivalent about me. I did the first 'get to know her' call as it was a quick street approach and all I could do was number close, took about 1-3 minutes max from saying Hi to getting the number (not making myself happy, it's kind of a concern point as the interaction felt quite TRANSACTIONAL due to the time constraint...a sticky point I'll love help for as well). Set up a date but it didn't work out because our schedules like I said and one time she actually told me herself that she was going to be at the location where I cold approached her in the first place and we could quickly meet up if I chose to. We did.
After that, our phone frequency increased because she is a cool, intelligent and pretty babe that I actually do enjoy talking to. I don't do chat applications but after text chatting a while, I ran out of units and she asked if anyone had a chat app on their phone I could borrow cos she would like to keep talking. Did this for about a week where it was the norm for us to be chatting every OTHER DAY and sometimes, late into the night. Now, she did a lot of the INITIATING and I encouraged her as 'we don't play those silly games like any of those other people'. Over that time, I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW HER QUITE SOME, DEEP DIVED, CHASE FRAMED, SEXUALLY FRAMED THE INTERACTION etc and SHE DOESN'T KNOW HALF ABOUT ME AS I KNOW ABOUT HER and IMO, it's been kind of interesting for her. Keep in mind that we haven't even gone on a date yet although we have one planned for when she's back in school from the holidays and I'm quite guaranteed that it won't fail. But I was never fooled, I knew that at a point the disadvantages of talking too much over the phone would kick in:
- She might become disenchanted and spell broken as she has now gotten to know all about this 'alluring stranger' over the phone and thus he isn't much of a stranger anymore, much less 'alluring'. This MIGHT douse her desire to go on an actual date again.
- There's a possibility she might friend zone you as you lose your exquisiteness and are not much of a scarce commodity anymore. She can simply call you whenever she wants to talk to you and if you don't pick up, you'll probably call her back...bla bla.
- It's easier to start PLAYING SILLY GAMES this way as she starts to think 'I called last, he should now' etc etc.
The above are disadvantages of talking too frequently IMO based on reading the website but this is my main sticky point:
- CAUSING HER TO AUTO REJECT. She calls quite some and initiates a lot of the text chatting and even sometimes BEGSfor me to join her on one of the chat apps. Now, when she texts or emails, I time-delay on purpose cos I'm quite busy and so, vary my response time a la the instruction on the site. I also sometimes miss her call on purpose and don't call back for quite some and same goes for emails. I also generally ensure I am the one that eject from these conversations.
The rule says to 'reward her for her investments, otherwise she might be discouraged and not invest as much again'. It fundamentally says to ENCOURAGE HER TO INVEST MORE. Now, here comes the dilemma, IF I ONLY ALLOW HER TO INITIATE CONTACT, I'M NOT RECIPROCATING INVESTMENT. IF I IGNORE HER TEXTS FOR TOO LONG OR DON'T RETURN HER CALLS FOR TOO LONG, SHE STARTS TO DOUBT IF PUTTING HERSELF OUT THERE FOR THIS GUY WAS ACTUALLY WORTH IT AND STARTS TO AUTO REJECT. These are all my assumptions from reading the site but I cannot shake off the thought that we might be talking too much and those aforementioned disadvantages might kick in.
This is a classic case of a catch-22 for me. Which is why I need your insight and I'm pretty sure it would be a useful topic to explore as well for the benefit of the larger crowd. I WANT HER TO KEEP CHASING BUT I WANT TO REWARD HER FOR DOING SO WHILE AVOIDING THOSE PITFALLS I MENTIONED AND KEEPING HER INTEREST PIQUED. I'm sorry it got this long, just wanted to put the situation and my thoughts, as they are, out there. I'm pretty sure after sending this, there'll have been one or two things I left out, but anyways, I'm leaving it this way.
Thanks a lot and giddy to read your insight on this. Cheers man.
Been a while. Hope you've been good and...compliments of the season. Need guidance on a quick one.
I realized that there isn't any clear cut article on how frequently to talk to a girl on the phone either through phone calls or chat applications like BBM on the website either through YOU calling/initiating or HER calling/initiating. Of course, having preliminary knowledge can easily show the disadvantages of talking too much on the phone which I'll list in a bit. But a bit of background first.
Met this babe, who's really cool and pretty etc. Tried to get her out but our schedules don't permit it yet. She largely considered me a
stranger and probably was ambivalent about me. I did the first 'get to know her' call as it was a quick street approach and all I could do was number close, took about 1-3 minutes max from saying Hi to getting the number (not making myself happy, it's kind of a concern point as the interaction felt quite TRANSACTIONAL due to the time constraint...a sticky point I'll love help for as well). Set up a date but it didn't work out because our schedules like I said and one time she actually told me herself that she was going to be at the location where I cold approached her in the first place and we could quickly meet up if I chose to. We did.
After that, our phone frequency increased because she is a cool, intelligent and pretty babe that I actually do enjoy talking to. I don't do chat applications but after text chatting a while, I ran out of units and she asked if anyone had a chat app on their phone I could borrow cos she would like to keep talking. Did this for about a week where it was the norm for us to be chatting every OTHER DAY and sometimes, late into the night. Now, she did a lot of the INITIATING and I encouraged her as 'we don't play those silly games like any of those other people'. Over that time, I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW HER QUITE SOME, DEEP DIVED, CHASE FRAMED, SEXUALLY FRAMED THE INTERACTION etc and SHE DOESN'T KNOW HALF ABOUT ME AS I KNOW ABOUT HER and IMO, it's been kind of interesting for her. Keep in mind that we haven't even gone on a date yet although we have one planned for when she's back in school from the holidays and I'm quite guaranteed that it won't fail. But I was never fooled, I knew that at a point the disadvantages of talking too much over the phone would kick in:
- She might become disenchanted and spell broken as she has now gotten to know all about this 'alluring stranger' over the phone and thus he isn't much of a stranger anymore, much less 'alluring'. This MIGHT douse her desire to go on an actual date again.
- There's a possibility she might friend zone you as you lose your exquisiteness and are not much of a scarce commodity anymore. She can simply call you whenever she wants to talk to you and if you don't pick up, you'll probably call her back...bla bla.
- It's easier to start PLAYING SILLY GAMES this way as she starts to think 'I called last, he should now' etc etc.
The above are disadvantages of talking too frequently IMO based on reading the website but this is my main sticky point:
- CAUSING HER TO AUTO REJECT. She calls quite some and initiates a lot of the text chatting and even sometimes BEGSfor me to join her on one of the chat apps. Now, when she texts or emails, I time-delay on purpose cos I'm quite busy and so, vary my response time a la the instruction on the site. I also sometimes miss her call on purpose and don't call back for quite some and same goes for emails. I also generally ensure I am the one that eject from these conversations.
The rule says to 'reward her for her investments, otherwise she might be discouraged and not invest as much again'. It fundamentally says to ENCOURAGE HER TO INVEST MORE. Now, here comes the dilemma, IF I ONLY ALLOW HER TO INITIATE CONTACT, I'M NOT RECIPROCATING INVESTMENT. IF I IGNORE HER TEXTS FOR TOO LONG OR DON'T RETURN HER CALLS FOR TOO LONG, SHE STARTS TO DOUBT IF PUTTING HERSELF OUT THERE FOR THIS GUY WAS ACTUALLY WORTH IT AND STARTS TO AUTO REJECT. These are all my assumptions from reading the site but I cannot shake off the thought that we might be talking too much and those aforementioned disadvantages might kick in.
This is a classic case of a catch-22 for me. Which is why I need your insight and I'm pretty sure it would be a useful topic to explore as well for the benefit of the larger crowd. I WANT HER TO KEEP CHASING BUT I WANT TO REWARD HER FOR DOING SO WHILE AVOIDING THOSE PITFALLS I MENTIONED AND KEEPING HER INTEREST PIQUED. I'm sorry it got this long, just wanted to put the situation and my thoughts, as they are, out there. I'm pretty sure after sending this, there'll have been one or two things I left out, but anyways, I'm leaving it this way.
Thanks a lot and giddy to read your insight on this. Cheers man.
