- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 798
Hey guys...
So I hope this doesn't seem silly but I have noticed a sticking point I might have.
So I've read the Deep Dive and Conversationalist blogs over and over and over... they have helped me SO much. There's always tons of room to improve but I've come on leaps and bounds in that time. I'm no longer "scared" of first dates. In fact, I find of look forward to them more, because I now have so much to work with and I can even try to lead the conversation in other new directions with this new knowledge and see how that goes. It's exciting actually to see it working so well compared to what I might have done before!
But this has lead me to a new sticking point... follow up dates... now THESE make me more nervous... sounds crazy right? If you had a great first date, why would I be nervous of the 2nd or 3rd or 4th?
Well I think it's about momentum... wanting the following dates to go as great as the earlier ones.
So the question is...
On the first date or on just meeting a girl, you don't know her yet, it's EASY to deep dive, and get her talking about LOTS of stuff.
But lets say on the 3rd date, we've already spent hours talking about the wonders of the world and more... what next? Lets say I've asked her about travel, family, love, life, hobbies... we spoke at length about all that...
Sometimes I feel like I need to be able to keep on engaging her as much time after time but if I've already covered, travel, for instance... I'm not going to ask her to cover it again.
Hope that made some sense... It's really a question of... if you take all the advice on here and initially come across as this sexy, edgy, well conversed man... what advice is there for keeping it up.
Although I get the idea of "least effort" and not "trying to impress her too much" but in some ways, isn't that what we re doing? Impressing her? Even if we are going against conventional ways of doing so and "appearing" to not being trying to impress her... we still ARE right?
So I hope this doesn't seem silly but I have noticed a sticking point I might have.
So I've read the Deep Dive and Conversationalist blogs over and over and over... they have helped me SO much. There's always tons of room to improve but I've come on leaps and bounds in that time. I'm no longer "scared" of first dates. In fact, I find of look forward to them more, because I now have so much to work with and I can even try to lead the conversation in other new directions with this new knowledge and see how that goes. It's exciting actually to see it working so well compared to what I might have done before!
But this has lead me to a new sticking point... follow up dates... now THESE make me more nervous... sounds crazy right? If you had a great first date, why would I be nervous of the 2nd or 3rd or 4th?
Well I think it's about momentum... wanting the following dates to go as great as the earlier ones.
So the question is...
On the first date or on just meeting a girl, you don't know her yet, it's EASY to deep dive, and get her talking about LOTS of stuff.
But lets say on the 3rd date, we've already spent hours talking about the wonders of the world and more... what next? Lets say I've asked her about travel, family, love, life, hobbies... we spoke at length about all that...
Sometimes I feel like I need to be able to keep on engaging her as much time after time but if I've already covered, travel, for instance... I'm not going to ask her to cover it again.
Hope that made some sense... It's really a question of... if you take all the advice on here and initially come across as this sexy, edgy, well conversed man... what advice is there for keeping it up.
Although I get the idea of "least effort" and not "trying to impress her too much" but in some ways, isn't that what we re doing? Impressing her? Even if we are going against conventional ways of doing so and "appearing" to not being trying to impress her... we still ARE right?
