core mindset

[Epiphone75]

Hello Folks,

Let's jump into it.

I'm looking to not only increase the quality of women that I form connections with, but also simplify my mental and emotional approach to seduction in order to be more effective and efficient.

In my research, a lot of the same listed attractive traits for magnetic men seem to pop-up: Warmth, charisma, leadership, social adroitness, natural sexiness, non-neediness, lack of bitterness, eloquence, an air of mystery, etc..

The challenge is, I do, at times, find myself overwhelmed with the sheer amount of mental processing required to deftly handle high-tension and sexually-charged situations with women. Trying to recall these characteristics and put my mind to work seems to be working against me in some cases (which makes sense, since I'm now getting stuck in my own head and not present in the interaction).

There's no doubt that it slows down my game and causes me to look clumsy (in proper defiance to the Law of Least Effort) around higher-caliber females.

So, what's the goal here?

My intention is to consolidate all of this key data into a simple mindset I can use to anchor myself when dealing with an attractive women whom I want wrapped around me.

The question is. What would that quick and simple mindset be? How would you choose to think of yourself, and thus present yourself, to a women you intend on getting together with?

Who do I need to be right now to give her what she wants, and in turn, get what I want?

Here's what I'm willing to posit based on my own perspective:

• Present yourself as a protector and a lover.

Now by protector, I don't mean provider. I'm not going to pay some girl's parking tickets or buy her a necklace because she said she'd give me a stupendous blowjob.

I mean presenting yourself as a dominant and magnetic man who is self-assured and believes in his ability to lead, figure things out, and handle challenges and tension with grace and charming finesse. She must be able to trust you, feel at complete ease around you, be comfortable following, and have the feeling that she will be safe and protected around you.

However, you must avoid presenting yourself as a "friend" or de-sexualized father figure-type. You must be a sexy and intriguing man whom women want to be taken by. He knows what he wants from the women in his life, and he knows they will get as much benefit and joy out of it (emotionally and sexually) as he will.

So when I'm approaching/interacting/escalating things with a woman, I simply want to think, act, and present myself as a protector and lover (in a fully congruent and alluring manner, of course).

The overall goal being to make the whole process of attracting higher-quality women as effective and visibly effortless as possible (which seems to be the common goal on this website )

I feel confident that this approach would work, however, I may have some blindspots or gaps that I'm overlooking.....hence the post.

I would love some feedback and thoughts from yourselves on my theory and venture here. Cheers!

Healthy Regards.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

I see a lot of my rookie self in this post.

Your Question - In order to hook up with more chicks than you are getting presently, should you adopt his mindset "Present yourself as a protector and a lover."

2 answers

Easy Answer - Whether this mindset work in a particular scenario - and by work I mean you think like this and she reacts favorably to your actions - It depends on the type of girls that you're looking for, from her unknown psychological perspective.

Some girls need a protector, some need a lover, some need a sponsor, some need a daddy, some need a challenge, some girls need it all, some need it all at different times depending on her mood and the circumstance...etc

Showing a girl that you are protective of her, of women, of loved ones - may or may not hit one of her internal buttons.
Some girls will definitely be turned off, she needs no protection.
Some girls see protective actions as smothering or as fatherly/old - which is not what she wants.

However, some girls will appreciate that, but the question is - if you adopt this as your mindset -

1) Will you get more girls than you normally get, because of this mindset?
2) Is this particular mindset universally attractive?

The answer to sub question 1 is maybe and probably, depending on where you start. You sound like a beginner, so just having a consistent approach will net you numbers, more so than the particular mindset.

The answer to sub-question 2 - I find that this Protector/Lover works best with a "wounded" animal type girl. To some extent, all girls have been hurt by guys (and by girls, and by their families, and by strangers, etc), but there are some "i need someone to guide me out of my shell" type chicks.

The Hard Answer

I think that you're trying to synthesize everything you've read and trying to boil stuff down to it's essence.

I think that's a mistake in mindset, and it will hinder how you think about problems you'll face in the field.

Guys that want to be Mr. Smooth, The Rockstar, James Bond, the affected Artiste - all viable models - have a major decision to make.

Do I stick with this image in my mind and live up to that, even if that means losing the live girl in front of me...

Or do I change my behavior to meet what I think she needs? {this seems like a central question in pickup, but the reality ends up being much more simple as any given girl likes a range of guys just like she likes a range of food}

As you get better, and your new persona becomes your actual person - this won't be an issue, but starting out, you're really trying to

1) Find yourself

But also

2) Get results.

Most guys realize that "just being himself" "his best self" "his authentic self" isn't getting his dick sucked.
If any of that worked, he wouldn't be online trying to figure out the best instagram opener.

There's things that about him that repel some women, a lot of women, a woman in particular.
And he has to make that core level change, not just a surface level change.

WIA